


Cards on the Table

by Haleyb333



Category: The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/M, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-21
Updated: 2018-02-04
Packaged: 2018-11-03 13:04:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 87,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10967838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Haleyb333/pseuds/Haleyb333
Summary: Downworlders have begun disappearing and dying all around New York, but when Alec takes on the case, he never expects to find his soulmate in the process. Alec quickly realizes fighting a war along side his soulmate will be much harder than it sounds, especially when he and his soulmate each acquire the other's injuries. How can he fight when he's afraid of hurting his soulmate?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [batpeep](https://archiveofourown.org/users/batpeep/gifts).



> Hi all! This story is a gift to my friend Rachel (aka batpeep)!
> 
> So I'm very excited about this story, and I can't wait to see what your thoughts on it are! It's going to be a wild ride, that's for sure! I hope you enjoy the beginning of it as much as I enjoyed writing it! Please come let me know what you think! I love hearing from you guys!

Alec jolted out of bed, cursing loudly before realizing that it was still the middle of the night. At first, the searing pain in his hands was the only thing that Alec knew. He initially thought that he might still be dreaming, but as he reached out to turn on the lamp that lived beside his bed, he quickly realized that he was most certainly wide awake. Alec winced as his right hand touched the lamp, pain shooting throughout his entire arm as soon as his skin contacted the cold metal. But Alec ignored the pain long enough to switch the lamp on, too focused on finding out what was wrong with his hands to allow the pain to deter him.

The first thing that Alec noticed when he looked down at his hands was the fact that the wounds were something that simply could not have happened to him while he was asleep. His hands were currently covered with burns, and very fresh ones at that. And Alec knew that only fire and magic itself could have made these kinds of burns, two things that was nowhere near him at the moment. So Alec simply sighed and all but flung himself out of bed, heading toward the bathroom before he could talk himself into falling asleep once more. On his way to the bathroom, Alec plucked his stele off of his dresser as gently as he could, setting it on the counter by the sink as soon as he could do so, the pain already radiating through his arm from the contact.

Alec sighed again, this time out of relief, when his hands hit the cold water that was now pouring out of the faucet. He watched as the water flooded over the burns on his hands, refusing to look at himself in the mirror above the sink, knowing that he would only see the growing circles under his eyes and the haunting look of sleep deprivation staring back at him. After several minutes, Alec removed his hands from the stream of water and reached for his stele. He quickly drew an iratze on his left forearm, yet even as he did so, he knew it wouldn't make much of a difference. The iratze wouldn't heal the burns on his hands, it would only ease the pain. These weren't the type of runes an iratze was meant to deal with, and Alec knew that all too well.

The burns had appeared on his hands in the middle of the night, not because of anything that he himself had done, but because somewhere out in the world Alec's soulmate had burned his own hands via fire or magic. Or both. Alec couldn't help but smile as he got back into bed. After years of fighting with himself, he was finally able to admit to himself that his soulmate was also a man, and, though there were days he wished it was otherwise, Alec had become rather comfortable with that idea. Not that he was going to go around telling other people that little fact any time soon, Jace and Isabelle already knew, and that was enough for him at the moment. But there was a lovely sort of freedom in understanding himself in that way.

Alec clearly remembered the day his father had been forced to explain the whole soulmate idea to him, as it was also the day Alec's soulmate had first burned himself in much the same way he had tonight. "When two people are connected with every fiber of their being, it's something we call soulmates," Robert had begun, smiling as Alec interrupted him to ask if this was anything like parabatai. "Kind of," Robert had continued, amused by his son's constant curiosity. "Except a soulmate bond is far stronger than a parabatai bond." Alec remembered trying, and failing, to wrap his mind around that thought. "It's so strong that when your soulmate gets hurt, their injury shows up on you, too," Robert had concluded, pointing at the fresh burns on Alec's arm.

Again Alec found himself smiling at the memory of how his eight-year-old self had been so perplexed by that explanation that he'd bothered his father until Robert had eventually given him three different books on the topic. Alec remembered curling up in the greenhouse under his favorite tree and reading until Robert had come looking for him, having become so lost in the books and the simple idea of soulmates that he'd forgotten to eat or do anything but read all day. One thing that he'd never been able to wrap his mind around was the fact that it had taken him eight years of his life to realize that he'd been acquiring injuries that weren't his own. He guessed that it was because it had taken eight years for his soulmate to acquire a rather extensive injury and not just a cut or a bruise that Alec's child-like mind couldn't explain away as something he simply hadn't noticed when he'd gotten it.

Soon after that initial injury of his soulmate's, however, Alec had come to almost cherish each time he felt his soulmate's pain. It didn't take Alec very long to realize that not every person on earth was granted a soulmate; his father later explained that it was actually a rather rare occurrence for someone, especially a Shadowhunter, to have a soulmate. So over the years, Alec had grown almost fond of the fact that he had a soulmate. It was something that was special to him, set him apart. If you didn't count Isabelle. As soon as Isabelle had realized that she also had a soulmate, she'd been unable to keep from bragging about that fact every chance she got. Yet this never really annoyed Alec as much as he knew it probably should have, mostly because he knew it was just his sister's way of expressing her excitement.

Yet growing up knowing that he had a soulmate had been just as frustrating for Alec as it was exciting and endearing. More often than not, Alec was more frustrated than anything by the fact that he would not be able to tell even the slightest thing about his soulmate until the day that they actually met. Alec couldn't even tell if his soulmate was another Shadowhunter or not. One thing he'd learned from all of his research over the years was that a pair of Shadowhunter soulmates did not acquire on another's runes. No one was really sure of why this particular phenomenon occurred, but many speculated that it was due to the fact that Shadowhunters were relatively new to the world compared to the things that had been around since the beginning of time, like soulmates had.

Alec didn't know how well he trusted the speculations of the "many," but the fact that runes were effectively burned into the skin didn't seem to affect the soulmate connection in any way. So Alec had been left to wonder if his soulmate was actually a Shadowhunter or not. Despite the copious amounts of research he had done, he hadn't heard of many instances where a Shadowhunter had a Downworlder as a soulmate, but Alec knew that the lack of reports on the matter did not mean that it was impossible. Over the years, Alec had tried to make sense of the injuries that his soulmate had acquired, but whether his soulmate was a Shadowhunter or not, none of the injuries had ever seemed that out of place to Alec.

After what seemed like hours to Alec, but what he knew was mere minutes, the pain in his hands began subsiding, and he knew that his soulmate was being healed by whatever means he had at his disposal. Alec didn't need to turn the light on again to know that the burns were disappearing from his hands, and he was certain that there would be no trace of the burns in the morning. It didn't take long for Alec to fall back to sleep after that, the feeling of his healing hands lulling him back into sleep as he registered the fact that his soulmate was currently experiencing those same feelings.  
.  
.  
.  
Getting up the next morning was just as hard as Alec had guessed it would be, especially when he realized just how sore his hands were. They were completely healed on the surface, but as soon as Alec tried to touch anything at all, he was reminded of the pain that he'd experienced the night before. He spent a few minutes trying to stretch out his hands and release some of the tension that had built up overnight, hoping that a day full of work would get him ready for whatever sort of mission they might have tonight. As Alec wandered the Institute looking for his parents he idly wondered just how sore his soulmate's hands were. He smiled at the thought, hoping his soulmate would learn his lesson, but knowing that, based on the other man's track record of injuries, he likely wouldn't.

Alec's smile immediately vanished as soon as he entered the library, finally finding his parents in the last place he'd expected them to be. His parents had stopped talking as soon as they had heard the library doors open, but Alec didn't need to hear their conversation to know that they had been arguing. Tension was hanging in the air as Alec made his way toward his parents, and Alec tried his best to ignore it. As soon as he made eye contact with his father, however, all hope of ignoring the situation was lost. Robert promptly rolled his eyes toward the sky, then winked at Alec as best he could, as if to say that the situation with Maryse was as hopeless as it always was. Which was to say that there was no way Robert was going to get the last word on whatever matter they had been discussing.

Alec tried to smile at his father as much as he could, but he knew his father well enough to see the ghost of the argument in Robert's eyes. Over the years, Alec had grown increasingly close to his father. As a child, Alec hadn't quite seen eye-to-eye with Robert ever, but the older he grew, the more Alec seemed to see himself in his father, and that had only served to bring them close to one another. "Perfect timing, Alexander," Robert began, clearly trying to relieve some of the tension that was still floating around the room. "Your mother and I were just discussing the mission we have for you and your siblings tonight." At that, Maryse stood and made her way out of the room without a single word. Alec sent a questioning glance toward his father, but Robert remained silent until the door had firmly shut behind Maryse.

"She doesn't exactly agree with the premise of the mission," Robert explained, sinking down onto the couch as Alec came to sit beside of him. He was clearly relieved by Maryse's exit, and Alec wanted to inquire further, but he kept his mouth shut, knowing that his father wasn't inclined to talk about those sort of issues with him. "She says it's clearly 'Downworlder business' that we're meant to stay out of, but I say that's a bunch of bull," Robert continued, causing Alec to smile. The situation was starting to clear up for him despite the fact that he didn't yet have all of the details. This certainly wasn't the first time that his parents had fought over Downworlder business. Growing up, it hadn't taken Alec long to realize that Robert was a compassionate man who was just as genuinely concerned about the wellbeing of those around him as he was for him own family.

Alec listened contentedly as his father explained a bit of the background on the mission. "As you know already, there's been a mysterious spike in Downworlder disappearances and deaths over the past few months," Robert said, his voice heavy with the reality of the situation. "Despite all the searching I've tried to do, I'm not any closer to figuring out the cause of this than I was three months ago when this all began. So I want you to take Jace and Izzy with you and do a little bit of snooping around the Downworld tonight," Robert explained, clearly trying to make this sound as easy as possible. But Alec knew that a mission revolving around the Downworld would never be as easy as Robert wanted to make it sound. "Magnus Bane is throwing a party at Pandemonium tonight -"

Despite his best judgement, Alec inadvertently cut his father off with his slightly involuntary sigh. Though Alec had never personally met Magnus, he'd heard plenty of stories about him, and that was enough for him. "I know, I know," Robert said, trying, and failing, to keep the amusement out of his voice. "But we need information, and one of Bane's parties will have plenty of information. If there's one thing I've learned in life, it's that nothing happens in New York without Magnus Bane knowing about it. So we need someone who can get close to Magnus easily and talk to him without much trouble, and, well," Robert paused for a moment, as if he was collecting himself and trying to pick out the best way for him to phrase what he wanted to say. "Frankly, you're the only person I can think of for that job."

It took Alec a few seconds to process what his father was saying, but as soon as he'd figured it out, he only needed to look at his father's expression to confirm his suspicions. Magnus Bane had a very strong reputation both inside and outside of the Downworld, and Alec knew all too well just what kind of man Magnus was generally seen as. As the High Warlock of Brooklyn, Magnus had all of Downworld at his disposal, and he never seemed to forget that. Magnus was known for his extravagant lifestyle, and recently Alec had heard several people refer to the warlock as "flamboyant," though Alec wanted to make that judgment on his own.

As the pieces began clicking into place, Alec couldn't help but voice his question to his father, slightly surprised at the fact that he was able to say anything of the sort. "You think Magnus will talk to me because he'll be attracted to me," he stated, a little more than shocked at the fact that his father was currently nodding. Alec couldn't keep the question from rolling off of his tongue, but as soon as he'd spoken up, he immediately regretted it. He was trying to play it off, trying to act like nothing was out of the ordinary, but he knew that he wasn't doing very well at that. "You want me to flirt with Magnus for information?" he asked, all but wincing as he heard the uncertainty in his voice.

It was one thing for his siblings to know about his sexuality, but no matter how close he'd grown to his father, Alec still had a hard time stomaching the thought of coming out to Robert. It was something he'd thought about all too often, it was something that made him feel as though he was living a lie when it came to his father, but it was something that he couldn't get past no matter how hard he tried. Alec relaxed ever so slightly when his father chuckled. "You're the only one who could pull it off," he explained, not giving Alec any wiggle room. "Your brother and sister are both far too cocky and suspicious to do it, and I doubt that Bane would willingly give any information to a Shadowhunter who came on official Clave business."

Robert seemed to see Alec's expression then because his own face softened and his voice became much less business-like. "Of course, if it's something you're uncomfortable with, you certainly don't have to do this; I'm just certain that it would be much easier to establish trust that way." Robert sounded like he was backtracking, trying to find a way out of the hole that he was digging, so Alec flashed his father a weak smile, hoping to settle Robert down a bit. "I just think that it would be good for you," Robert continued, nudging Alec ever so gently. "You need to loosen up a bit. Have a little fun; there's nothing wrong with that. Just go be yourself and I'm entirely certain that there's no information that Bane wouldn't give you." Alec could easily tell that his father was trying to remain nonchalant, but it wasn't quite the coverup that Robert probably thought it was.

As Alec went to find his siblings and let them in on the plan, he couldn't help but go over the conversation once more. It had almost sounded as though his father was trying to hint at his sexuality, as though Robert was trying to give him permission to be who he was. But Alec knew that he was likely simply getting his hopes up. He desperately wanted his father to know that part of who he was, so he was simply over thinking the entire conversation. The mission was meant to be about information and information only, and that was going to be Alec's one and only focus. He would flirt with Bane if that was what it took to get information. He would get the information needed, and things would go back to normal. It was just a mission after all.  
.  
.  
.  
"So let me get this straight," Isabelle began, trying her hardest to seem nonchalant and cool. She was currently lying on Alec's bed, watching with thinly veiled amusement as Alec searched for something to wear to Magnus's party. "No pun intended," she continued, causing Alec to roll his eyes as both she and Jace chuckled at the joke. "Dad wants you, of all people, to flirt with Magnus Bane for information? Magnus Bane," she repeated for emphasis. "Clearly Dad doesn't realize how out of your league Bane is," she said, though her voice was clearly full of love and amusement. Alec rolled his eyes before he realized that neither of his siblings could see him.

"We'll see about that," Alec responded as he turned to show Isabelle the outfit he had picked out. He'd picked out a simple red button-up dress shirt that Isabelle had often said made his eyes pop. Just to annoy his little sister, Alec had also picked out his favorite black dress jacket. There was nothing wrong with it that he could see, but Izzy always said that it made him look boring. But tonight of all nights, he wanted to look put together and presentable, nothing like a Shadowhunter looking for a fight. If there was one thing Alec knew about Magnus Bane, it was that, above all, Magnus was extremely weary of Shadowhunters. Just getting close to Magnus would be hard for them, and getting information out of him would be almost impossible.

But despite everything inside of him, Alec was slightly excited about the thought of the mission ahead of them. He hated parties, that much was true, but he almost felt as though he was going to have fun watching his brother and sister helplessly try to navigate Magnus Bane. If anything he'd heard about Magnus was true, his siblings were in for the ride of their lives. It was very rare that Jace and Izzy ever met someone they couldn't handle, as they were usually the ones that people couldn't handle. But Alec was almost entirely certain that Magnus Bane was going to be a whole new world for them, and he couldn't wait to see them struggle.

As Isabelle gave her approval, Alec heard a voice coming from the doorway. "Why do you care about your clothes today?" Alec turned to see his little brother, Max, staring at him as though he'd suddenly grown an extra head. The problem was that Alec knew that this was a very valid question, and he wasn't exactly ready to have that sort of conversation with Max. Alec had always considered himself close to his little brother, or as close as they could be with nearly nearly ten years between them. But Alec knew he would always feel as though he needed to protect Max from every possible "adult" thing conceivable.

Isabelle, however, seemed to have no problem being honest with Max. "It's because he's trying to impress someone important tonight," she said in a very matter-of-fact tone. It didn't take long for Jace to add his comment by saying, "Someone who's supposedly very attractive, or so I've heard." Alec took the time to glare at both of them before moving to scoop Max up and sit with him on the bed. He very pointedly made no move to comment on what either of his siblings had said, though he hated to admit that he knew they were ever so slightly correct.

"We're going to a party on a mission," he tried to explain to his little brother. But Max was already looking up at him as though he knew that Alec was leaving out part of the truth. "I have to look presentable, don't I?" he asked, trying to smile in the least suspicious way possible. Yet Max just continued to give him a look that said he wasn't buying it. Eventually, the three of them stopped bugging Alec about his choice of clothing long enough for him to get ready for the party. For some inexplicable reason, Alec found himself becoming nervous at the thought of the night to come. The last thing he wanted to do was mess the mission up by being his nervous, awkward self, but as he realized both of his siblings looked far better in their party outfits than he did, Alec found himself doubting whether or not he was really the right person for the job.  
.  
.  
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Magnus had to admit that this was likely the best party he had ever thrown. Usually by this point in the night a vampire had tried to drink from one of his guests or a couple of werewolves had picked a fight with one another. But everything seemed to be running smoothly, and he was beginning to wonder exactly why that was. He was currently working on ignoring Raphael and Ragnor as they made googly eyes at one another, both clearly oblivious to the fact that they were very equally in love with one another. Magnus had spent the past five minutes of their insufferable conversation stretching out his hands.

Though he would never admit it to Ragnor, his hands were still horribly sore from his spell-gone-wrong the night before. He'd been trying to track an informant, someone who was supposed to give him information about the current situation in the Downworld, but apparently the informant had been smart enough to cover his tracks in a way that caused the spell to backfire on Magnus. Literally. And no matter how much Magnus wanted to deny it, the magical fire burns that had covered his hands after the incident had been impossible for him to heal on his own. He'd ended up calling Catarina, knowing that she wouldn't yell at him as much as Ragnor would have.

From the very beginning, Ragnor had tried to tell him that getting in the middle of the Downworlder situation would get him hurt. So Magnus had vowed he would no longer tell Ragnor exactly what he was doing and when, knowing that his friend would likely try to stop him at all costs. But the fact of the matter was that Downworlders were disappearing and dying at an alarming rate, and Magnus couldn't conceivably stay out of that. He was going to get to the bottom of whatever this was, and a few burns on his hands weren't going to keep him from it. "I think that's why your party is running so smoothly," Raphael leaned over to tell him, suddenly pulling him out of his thoughts.

Magnus couldn't help but sigh as he realized that Raphael was completely correct. In the middle of a large crowd of people stood three Shadowhunters who were obviously trying to be inconspicuous. And if they had been at the party for any length of time, that meant that every single Downworlder in attendance was trying to be on their best behavior, afraid of so much as drawing the Shadowhunters' attention. "Please don't do anything stupid," Ragnor said as the three of them began studying the three Shadowhunters. Magnus's eyes quickly glanced over the blond boy who seemed to be leading their group. He looked overly confident, and Magnus had to admit that he looked like the stereotypical Shadowhunter, more sure of himself than anything else in the world.

His eyes quickly skipped over to the dark-haired girl who was clearly loving the attention she was getting from the Downworlders around her. Magnus knew immediately that she was the kind of person who was used to unapologetically commanding the room around her. She was not put off by the stares of the people around her, rather, she seemed to thrive off of them. As Magnus stood, his eyes landed on the third member of the Shadowhunter party, the tall, dark-haired boy who stood behind the other two and seemed to allow them to take charge. At first, Magnus had planned to confront the Shadowhunters as soon as he stood, but he suddenly wanted more time to study the boy, so he skirted around them as best as possible, pretending to make his way toward the bar for another drink.

Yet even as Magnus did so, he quickly removed all traces of alcohol from his bloodstream via magic. Though he'd only felt a slight buzz from the few drinks he'd had throughout the night, Magnus knew that he needed to be completely sober when dealing with Shadowhunters. Inexplicably, Magnus couldn't seem to keep his eyes off of the dark-haired boy. Magnus could already tell that he was incredibly different from the Shadowhunters that he was with, and that intrigued him more than he would have liked to admit. He and the dark-haired girl were undeniably siblings, but where his sister seemed to love the spotlight, the boy seemed to shy away from it. He seemed to recognize that they were out of place at the party, yet he seemed to wish more than anything that he could simply blend in with the crowd.

It seemed to Magnus as though the boy was unsure of himself, especially in the face of the Shadowhunters before him who were so inexplicably sure of themselves. But this created some dissonance in Magnus's mind as he tried to pair the personality with the incredibly attractive appearance. It was almost as though the boy didn't understand quite how beautiful he truly was, and that was such a shame to him. Magnus had always been partial to the black hair, blue eyes combination, but there was something so striking about this boy that Magnus had to take a couple of deep breaths before finally approaching the Shadowhunters.

"Magnus Bane, High Warlock of Brooklyn, at your service," he said as soon as he'd scooted his way in front of all three of the unsuspecting Shadowhunters. He gave them a very dramatic bow, hoping to throw them off ever so slightly so that he could easily gain the upper hand. "I can tell this is no social-call, so what can I do for the three of you?" he asked, deciding that getting straight to the point was the best course of action. Both the blond-haired boy and the girl opened their mouths to respond, but they were both cut off, to Magnus's amusement, by the dark-haired boy, something that made Magnus very happy as it gave him a chance to openly study the boy once more.

"I'm Alec Lightwood," the boy answered, clearly trying to find his footing in the conversation, which was slightly endearing to Magnus despite his better judgement. "This is my sister, Isabelle, and my brother, Jace," he continued, though Magnus was not quite sure why the other two mattered any longer. "And what makes you think that we've come here to do anything but enjoy the party and admire the -" Alec paused for a moment, obviously searching for the right word. But then his eyes landed on Magnus once more, and the most endearingly crooked of smiles spread across his lips. "Scenery?" he finished, allowing his eyes to not so secretly explore Magnus.

It was very clear from the looks on Jace and Isabelle's faces that this was the last thing they had been expecting from Alec, but Alec looked rather pleased with himself, and that was what made Magnus smile against his will. It didn't take Magnus long to decide to play it cool and see where this went, even if Ragnor would have filed doing so under the "stupid" category. "It's just that Shadowhunters, no matter how stunningly attractive, tend to end up at my parties because they are in need of something, and I can sense that the three of you are no different," he replied. This time, however, Alec seemed caught off guard by the forwardness of it all, and this gave his siblings a chance to jump into the conversation.

"We'd actually like to talk to you without an audience if possible," Isabelle said, throwing a hand toward the Downworlders who were trying to appear as though they weren't listening in on the conversation. Magnus simply nodded and lead the way to the most secluded corner of the club possible, waving at Ragnor as he did so to let his friend know that things were just fine. "We know that by now you've noticed all of the Downworlder disappearances and deaths," Isabelle began as soon as possible, her brother clearly upset by this immediate line of questioning. "We're here hoping that you might have any information that might be pertinent to our investigation." At first, Magnus was inclined to laugh at that thought. Shadowhunters rarely concerned themselves with Downworlder business, and the thought that they were concerned enough to conduct an investigation was utterly absurd to Magnus.

But then Magnus caught Alec's gaze once more, and he realized just how eager the Shadowhunter was to hear new information. He had the kind of eagerness that was genuine enough for Magnus to realize that he honestly wanted to help fix the situation at hand. But then Magnus realized something else: if the Shadowhunters were desperate enough to come to him for help, that must mean that they had absolutely no information for themselves. And Magnus wasn't about to give them all of the information he'd collected without receiving anything in return. "I do know quite a bit about the situation," he admitted, forcing a smile off of his face as Alec's eyes lit up at the admission. "But I think the real question here is what the three of you would be able to give me in exchange for my information."

Magnus spread his hands at this, as if to invite them to try their hand at whatever price he might ask. "What is it you want, Bane?" the blond boy whose name Magnus had already forgotten asked, but not before he mumbled something under his breath that was most likely about the fact that Magnus's information always came with a price. This little fact was nothing the New York Institute didn't already know. Magnus quickly considered this, his mind flipping through the millions of things he could ask the Institute to pay him with. But then his eyes landed on Alec once more, and he realized that he could have much more fun with this than he'd had in a long time.

"A dance," was Magnus's only reply, and Isabelle quickly stepped forward. "Fine," she said, sighing as the music switched into a song fit for a slow dance. "If that's what it takes." But Magnus was already laughing and shaking his head. "Not with you," he replied, trying to keep his amusement to a minimum. "I was referring to the hot one," he said, laughing in earnest as Trace, or whatever his name was, stepped forward. "Wrong again," he said between laughs, his eyes landing very pointedly on Alec. The best part of the entire conversation was the fact that Alec's siblings seemed more taken aback than Alec himself. After several heavy moments, Alec offered his hand to Magnus, and Magnus wasted no time in taking it and leading the young Shadowhunter away from his siblings.

Making their way back into the middle of the dance floor wasn't hard, as everyone was more than happy to give them room. Not for the first time that night, Alec caught Magnus by surprise as he slipped his hand into the warlock's, quickly placing his other hand on Magnus's shoulder, stepping toward Magnus as the warlock placed his own hand on Alec's hip. It had been a very long time since Magnus had met a Shadowhunter who could dance, but to say that Alec was a good dancer would have been an understatement. It quickly became evident that Alec was a much better dancer than Magnus had ever been, and the Shadowhunter took the lead seamlessly. "So about that information," Alec said, clearly trying to calm his nerves as he realized exactly what he was actually doing.

Magnus tried to laugh it off, hoping to lengthen the time they spent together. "Why not focus on the dance instead?" he asked, noticing the fact that he had to work much harder than Alec to keep in time with their dancing. It was at that moment that Alec slowed his pace, almost as though he had noticed the same thing and he was making an allowance for Magnus. Once this registered, Magnus found himself wondering if this Shadowhunter was simply too good to be true. He tried to form his next sentence to Alec, but he couldn't seem to get his mind off of the way Alec's ever so gentle touch seemed to shoot sparks through Magnus's flesh. "I think we might have to leave the information part for a later meeting," he finally managed to say, earning a smile from Alec.

When he spoke once more, Alec seemed much more relaxed, and this made Magnus happy in a way he didn't quite understand. "You're just saying that as an excuse to see me again," the Shadowhunter replied, no trace of resentment or annoyance in his voice as Magnus had first thought there would be. The simply danced for a few more moments before Magnus took the time to respond. He hated the effect the Shadowhunter already had on him, as it was the last thing he had been expecting from the night. Yet Alec's deep blue eyes were pulling at him in a way that Alec was very clearly unaware of, and Magnus was finding himself powerless against them.

"That may be true," Magnus admitted despite the fact that they both knew it was very true indeed. "But I must admit that I'm curious to know what your thoughts on the matter are," he said, trying to keep himself calm and collected as their dancing took them past Ragnor and Raphael. "You must have realized by now that I do not freely give anything. I won't be too inclined to give the New York Institute information without gaining information for myself," Magnus continued, hoping he wasn't overstepping himself already, ignoring Ragnor's very apparent scowl.

This time, Alec took the time to think the matter over, allowing the music to crash over them as they made their way around the dance floor. "You must have realized that we have very little information to give," Alec admitted, and Magnus was immediately surprised by his honesty. He was willing to bet that almost every other Shadowhunter would have tried to play it off and gain the information they needed through deception. "But I can offer you three of the best Shadowhunters this generation has to offer and all the resources the New York Institute has on hand," Alec continued, catching Magnus off guard once more.

"If I didn't know any better," Magnus began, trying his best to ignore the fact that his hand was inadvertently sliding toward Alec's lower back as they were forced to move closer together in the crowd of party-goers. "I would say you're proposing that we work together on this case," he finished, knowing that directness was the best way to go with the Shadowhunter before him. Alec simply smiled and nodded, his eyes searching Magnus's face for the slightest indication of what the warlock might be thinking at the moment.

"My siblings clearly have nothing to say on the matter as they seem to have deserted me," Alec responded, shrugging as if to say that they were better off that way. "And my father would like to solve the case as much as I believe you would, so I'm sure that I won't be met with any opposition on the matter," he concluded, as if that was supposed to be enough for Magnus as well. But the problem was that it was enough for Magnus. The warlock wasn't blind to the fact that Alec had much more of an influence over him than he probably should, but it was something that Magnus wasn't ready to give up quite yet.

As soon as the song finished, Magnus didn't hesitate to invite Alec to grab a drink with him, and the Shadowhunter refused to actually drink any alcohol, asserting that he was on a mission and if he came back drunk his father would kill him. But Alec surprised Magnus once more by sticking around regardless, chatting with Magnus in such an easy way that Magnus would have never believed the Shadowhunter standing before him was the same one he had seen trying to blend into the crowd just a short while ago. Magnus took the opportunity to study Alec even closer, intrigued by the fact that Alec was nothing like any Shadowhunter Magnus had ever met in his centuries of life.

It didn't take long for Magnus to realize that the easygoing, confident persona was something out of place for Alec. Magnus could clearly detect the times that Alec seemed to be fighting with himself inside of his mind, calculating the best thing to say and the best way to say it. Alec was clearly much more unsure of himself than it seemed at the moment, and the fact that he was fighting through that was touching to Magnus. Not to mention the fact that it didn't take Magnus long to figure out that Alec was quite hilarious and that their personalities clicked in a way that Magnus hadn't felt in a long time. Yet every time Magnus felt himself sliding into comfort, there was Ragnor in the corner of his sight, giving him a disapproving look and grounding him once more.

Multiple times throughout the night, Magnus asked himself what he was actually doing. There was no way he should be flirting with a Shadowhunter in the way he currently was, and there was certainly no way he should be enjoying it as much as he was. But there was something about Alec that had captured his attention so thoroughly that Magnus already knew it would be futile to try to get it back. "Allow me to walk you home, Magnus," Alec said at the end of the night, pulling Magnus out of his thoughts and back into the reality of the situation that had brought them together in the first place. "It's very late, and the city isn't safe for Downworlders at the moment," Alec explained, but they both knew that the explanation hadn't been necessary. Despite his better judgement, Magnus allowed Alec to do so.

They were halfway to Magnus's house when the absurdity of the situation hit Magnus and he couldn't help but laugh into the cool night air. Alec simply sent him a questioning glance, and Magnus didn't hesitate in explaining. "It's just that I am a centuries-old warlock, possibly one of the most powerful beings on this earth at the moment, and a Shadowhunter is currently walking me home," he said, smiling as Alec chuckled ever so slightly. Before the Shadowhunter could answer, they were at Magnus's loft and Magnus was already regretting their parting. Magnus couldn't help but smile as they quickly made plans to meet in a couple of days and begin pooling their information and making an action plan.

As Magnus turned toward his apartment, Alec's phone number on a piece of paper in his hand, he began to wonder just how they'd come to that precise moment. His breath caught in his throat as he registered the agility rune on Alec's neck as it glinted in the moonlight. But Magnus quickly shoved his thoughts aside, knowing that the rune's placement had to be a coincidence, knowing that his mind was simply playing tricks on him. He shut those tricks out as he made his way into his loft and fed Chairman Meow before finally allowing himself to go to sleep, refusing to let his mind win.  
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As Alec finally lowered himself into bed, he allowed himself to wonder how on earth he'd actually ended up spending his night with Magnus Bane. He was going to have to be more careful from now on. Sure, the night had been fun, but he'd allowed himself to get lost in the fact that he was far more attracted to Magnus than he'd first anticipated and he'd gotten carried away. Not that he really had any complaints about that. But Alec knew all too well that he was only setting himself up for disappointment later on down the road. From here on out, working on the Downworld situation with Magnus Bane was going to be strictly business.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there! So I have decided that I'm going to try to post new chapters of this story every week, either on Saturday or Sunday, depending on the week. But that being said, I am going to try, so there may be weeks where it doesn't get up until Monday or it doesn't get up at all! Bear with me, as my personal and professional schedule even for summer makes me cringe.
> 
> But I hope you enjoy this chapter! Please let me know what you think of it! I really enjoyed writing this, and I'm hoping that this chapter will take us deeper into the story! Can't wait to hear from y'all!

Not for the first time that week, or even that day, Alec began asking himself what on earth he was actually doing. Here he was, having lunch with Magnus Bane, again, not for the first time. Here he was, laughing at a stupid joke Magnus had made, completely disregarding the fact that the joke had nothing to do with the business they were supposed to be discussing. Alec became acutely aware of the fact that several people in Taki's were staring at them, but he also became aware of the fact that he simply didn't care. He understood that since Taki's was predominantly a Downworlder restaurant, the other patrons were simply shocked at seeing a Shadowhunter who was not accompanied by other Shadowhunters. He normally came here with his siblings, but this was the kind of conversation that called for a bit of privacy, at least privacy from other Shadowhunters.

So Alec allowed himself to shut out all the other people in the restaurant, focusing on his conversation with Magnus. They'd met for lunch for the simple fact that they needed to discuss the Downworlder case. It had been a month since they'd met at Pandemonium, and despite their best efforts, three more Downworlders had died and two more had disappeared. Alec had decided that it was time to pool their information and resources to see where they stood. If there was one thing Alec had learned from a month of working with Magnus it was that the warlock had nearly infinite sources and informants. And it was Alec's hope that going through their list of information yet again might jog Magnus's memory of an informant they hadn't yet spoken with.

Over the past month, they had met no fewer than three times a week, going through every possible piece of information they could find. They had visited all of the crime scenes possible, they had exhausted all the resources the Institute itself held. They were running out of options, and yet they had barely made any progress. "So what exactly do we know so far?" Magnus finally asked, begrudgingly pulling them back into reality. Alec sighed, knowing that he had to get ahold of himself before things got out of hand. The last thing he needed to be thinking about was the nature of his relationship with Magnus. At least not when they had two more missing Downworlders on their hands. Not when he had been sneaking around for weeks, hiding these meetings from his family and pushing the limits of just how many lies he could tell them.

"We have absolutely no information about the Downworlder deaths," Alec said, going over the information they'd gathered in his mind. "There's no pattern with the deaths. There's no discernable order as to which species of Downworlder dies when; there's no pattern as far as the victims' ages or genders. There's not even a pattern as to what day of the week or time of the day." Alec held back a smile as he realized Magnus was making his "thinking face" which simply amounted to his brows furrowing and his lips pursing while he stared into space. Alec found it endearing, but Magnus absolutely hated it when he pointed that little fact out, so he tried his best to ignore it and continue with the topic at hand.

"The disappearances, however, do have a slight pattern," Alec continued, retracing the facts in his mind. "For the past four and a half months, there has been one disappearance every two weeks, usually on the weekend. And the disappearances are rotating the Downworlder species." Magnus's expression changed then, growing much more serious than Alec had seen him in a while. "The first victim was a werewolf, then a vampire, then a faerie, and then a warlock. Then the cycle started over again, always in that order." Alec mentally winced as he reached the next set of facts. "And each victim has been no older than seventeen," he finished, wondering yet again what kind of person would target children. The youngest victim was thirteen, and her parents were still holding onto the hope that she was alive. But Alec was less than optimistic.

From here, Magnus decided to take over, apparently trying to jog his own memory as much as Alec was. "There have been no witnesses at any of the disappearances, though a few have showed signs of struggle," Magnus said, his voice absent and critical, as though he was trying his hardest to distance himself from the reality of the situation. "And none of the victims have been found, dead or alive," he concluded, his voice so eerily final that it made chills run down Alec's spine. "Whatever or whoever is taking them is doing so with a purpose." It was then that Magnus met Alec's eyes for the first time since they'd begun hashing out the details of the case, becoming clearly uncomfortable in a way that was completely foreign to him.

"Most of the Downworld seems to think that the disappearances are being caused by Shadowhunters," Magnus admitted, his nervousness now clicking in Alec's mind. The warlock didn't want Alec to think that he was questioning him personally, and somehow, that was endearing in and of itself. "There's been no sign of magic at any of the crime scenes as there would likely be with a warlock or faerie perpetrator. There would be more sign of struggle if it were a werewolf. And some of these disappearances have occurred during the day, so it can't be a vampire." Magnus sounded utterly logical about the entire situation, and Alec knew the other man had gone over the situation a million times. "But each disappearance has occurred in the same way, and with this type of pattern, it has to be the same person each time." Alec had to admit that this was making sense to him, but he was struggling to find a reason as to why a Shadowhunter would ever do such a thing. He knew there were Shadowhunters who thought of themselves as being far above Downworlders, but to blatantly kidnap Downworlder children was taking it to a level he hadn't thought possible. Not to mention the fact that the Accords were so clearly being broken.

Alec didn't notice Magnus's silence as he slipped into his own thoughts once more, a shiver running down his spine. His only thought at the moment was of Max, and he couldn't keep himself from shuddering every so slightly. Shadowhunters and Downworlders died every day, more often in battle with demons than not. But these were children, and they had done absolutely nothing to deserve being taken in this way. Alec couldn't even begin to imagine how frightened they were. If anyone ever even thought of doing such a thing to Max - "That's it!" Magnus exclaimed, pulling Alec out of the anger he was slowly developing. "An old friend of mine has been in New York for the past month and a half," Magnus continued, seemingly not noticing Alec's continual change in mood.

"His name is Malcolm Fade," Magnus said, finally remembering that Alec didn't have any idea of what he was talking about. "He can regularly be found frequenting both the mundane and Downworlder black markets. I hate to admit it, but if there's anyone who could possibly know more about what's happening in New York at the moment, it's Malcolm." At that, Magnus signaled their waitress, quickly paying their bill and telling her to keep the change. It was clear that he was now on a mission and nothing was going to hinder him any longer. It wasn't until they were a couple of blocks away from Taki's before Alec realized that Magnus had paid for his lunch without thinking anything of it. And Alec knew that he shouldn't think anything of it as well, but he couldn't help but glance over at Magnus as they walked toward wherever their destination was, wondering just how the hell he was going to get himself out of the hole he seemed to be digging.  
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"By no means do you have to go with me," Magnus had said about a million times before they'd actually reached the upscale apartment Malcolm was currently inhabiting. "I know that I'm known for being weary of Shadowhunters, but I have nothing on Malcolm," he had explained, and Alec could tell that he was growing worried about the impending meeting with Malcolm. "He despises Shadowhunters for reasons that are still a mystery to me. I have no doubt that we can get the information needed, but he will be very cold with you, likely nasty at times." But Alec had explained that he simply didn't care. Downworlders were cold and nasty to him constantly, and most of them had a very good reason for being so.

But even Magnus's warning or his past experiences with Downworlders' hatred hadn't truly prepared Alec for meeting Malcolm Fade. The first thing Alec noticed about the warlock was his strikingly purple eyes. The second thing Alec noticed about Malcolm was the fact that those eyes were staring at him as though the warlock was considering snapping his fingers and blowing him up on the spot. After several painfully long seconds, Malcolm seemed to finally get his wits about him. In one swift motion, Malcolm reached up to slam the door in their faces, but Magnus was much quicker than Malcolm had likely suspected. To Alec's surprise, Magnus refrained from using Magnus to keep the door open, simply wedging himself between the door and the doorframe before Malcolm could close it. Alec idly wondered if the lack of magic was a sign of respect between the two warlocks, and he made a mental note to ask Magnus about it later.

"He's a Shadowhunter, I know," Magnus said, and Alec could hear the tension in his voice despite the fact that he was clearly trying to keep himself under control at the moment. "I know how you feel about Shadowhunters, Malcolm. But Alec here has spent the past month of his life working his ass off to help me save Downworlder lives. We think you might have information that can help us. So let us in." Alec was slightly surprised by just how cold Magnus's voice had become. Sure, he hadn't known Magnus for very long, but he'd never imagined that the warlock could become so harsh in seconds. Yet Alec trusted that Magnus knew what he was doing. If anyone could get information out of Malcolm, it was going to be Magnus.

At first, Alec thought that Malcolm was going to tell them to go away. Or make them go away. But neither of those things happened. In fact, nothing else happened for several seconds, and Alec almost began to wonder if Malcolm was okay. When Malcolm finally spoke again, however, his voice was slow and hard, as though he was assessing the situation and carefully picking his words. "Do you trust him, Bane?" was all he asked, and Alec couldn't keep himself from automatically looking toward Magnus. He suddenly found himself worried about Magnus's answer, holding his breath as the warlock seemed to consider the question. It took several moments for Alec to realize that Malcolm was studying his face as he fretted over whether or not Magnus trusted him.

He tried to shove himself back into the "arrogant Shadowhunter persona" that Malcolm likely thought he held, but he simply couldn't do it. He knew that Magnus's answer carried no weight in his life, or at least it shouldn't. But here he was, entirely too anxious about what Magnus thought of him. "I would trust Alec with Ragnor's life, if it came down to it," Magnus finally said, his words careful and calculated. It wasn't until Alec was stepping through the doorway that the weight of Magnus's words truly hit him. It hadn't taken Alec very long to understand that Magnus and Ragnor Fell were essentially the warlock equivalent of parabatai. Alec was unsure that there was anyone in the world Magnus cared about more than he cared about Ragnor. That he was willing to trust Alec with Ragnor's life was the highest compliment Alec could think of at the moment.  
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It took a while to get the information they needed out of Malcolm, but from Magnus's demeanor, that was apparently to be expected. Malcolm seemed to talk in circles, and Alec could scarcely keep up as the warlock dropped Downworlder terms and names he had never before heard. Magnus listened intently, apparently following Malcolm around the circles he was creating, carefully playing the game the other warlock was inventing. "Surely there has been a witness to at least one of these disappearances or deaths. There have been so many that it's statistically impossible for someone to not have witnessed at least one of them." Malcolm seemed to turn this thought over in his mind, almost as though he was wondering just how much information he should give to Magnus and Alec.

"I've heard of one, yes," he said, and Alec wanted to interject a series of questions. But Magnus glanced at him in the most silencing of manners, apparently knowing that Malcolm would continue on his own time. So Alec all but bit his tongue, trying his best to keep from blurting out the thousands of questions he was keeping in. Magnus almost looked pleased when he realized just how much trouble he was having with this, and Alec easily realized that it was very clear he had little experience when it came to not being in control of situations with Downworlders. And Magnus was clearly enjoying watching him squirm. "A friend of ours," he said to Magnus, pointedly ignoring Alec, "Saw the last of the disappearance victims as she was being dragged off down an alleyway. And she was able to describe the person dragging her off."

Alec held his breath once more. They were finally getting somewhere with all of this. After a month of no leads, they were gaining information that could turn into something more. "I do not know the man's name, but I do know that he was once in the Circle," Malcolm continued. Alec wasn't too surprised to hear that a Shadowhunter was at least aiding in taking these Downworlders. He wished he could deny the fact that so many Shadowhunters simply hated Downworlders, but the fact of the matter was that Shadowhunters were the most likely culprits. "The warlock who spotted him could easily see his Circle rune, even after all these years."

Alec repressed the urge to shudder. Yet in all of their investigation, the Circle had never even become a thought. But Alec knew that they'd been fools to not think of the most obvious answer. Alec tensed as Magnus gave a low chuckle, realizing that he'd muttered the words, "Occam's razor," very much out loud instead of saying them in the depths of his mind. "Our friend described him as having dark hair and strikingly dark blue eyes that she could even see in the dark of the alley," Malcolm continued, and Alec began trying to put the pieces together. "When she described the man to me, I must admit that I had no idea of who she was speaking of. She described the shape of his face and many other things that I deemed insignificant. But looking at you now," Malcolm said, his piercing eyes finally returning to Alec, "It is like my entire mind has been cleared."

It took Alec several seconds to wade through what Malcolm was saying. At first, he thought Malcolm was implying that Alec himself had been the Shadowhunter that was kidnapping Downworlders. But that was utterly absurd on so many levels that Alec couldn't count them all. Alec slowly began putting the pieces together, clicking things into place as Magnus's concerned gaze fell on him. If the culprit had a Circle rune, it meant that he was in the generation of Valentine Morgenstern. Which was also his parents' generation. Alec's mind started spinning out of control and there was nothing he could do to stop it. He knew that he shared his father's features. He'd often been told that he looked uncannily like his father had "back in the day." But what Malcolm was implying was absolutely impossible. He would have known if either of his parents had been in the Circle. Not to mention the fact that his father would never do anything to harm Downworlder children.

When Alec's eyes finally met Malcolm's once more, the warlock was smiling at him in a way that made chills run down Alec's spine. "What is it, young Shadowhunter?" he asked, his voice dripping with amusement. "Have you not been made aware of your father's more wild years? If I remember correctly, and Magnus can vouch for me on this one, Robert Lightwood was one of the Circle's more ruthless members." Alec was aware of the fact that he was shaking his head, his eyes narrowing. There was absolutely no way that any of this was true. His father was such a gentle person. His father was the person he had look up to for as long as he could remember. His father was his hero. "Truly. If you don't believe me, simply as Magnus for clarification," Malcolm concluded, folding his hands in his lap as if to say that his work was done for the moment.

Alec whirled on Magnus despite the fact that everything in his body was telling him to slow down and remain calm about the situation. At first, it seemed as though Magnus did not want to get mixed up in the current conversation. But he eventually sighed, shifting his weight in a way that showed he was visibly uncomfortable. "Your parents and I first met when the Circle decided to raid and attack werewolf family that had not broken the Accords," Magnus admitted. Somehow, hearing these words from Magnus made them even worse than Alec had imagined. "Your father flung a dagger at me and looked particularly disappointed when I did not die," he said, and Alec was suddenly on his feet.

Being a Shadowhunter, Alec was out of the apartment far before Magnus was, and the time it took Magnus to catch up with him gave Alec the time he needed to sort through his thoughts ever so slightly. What Magnus had said simply didn't match the man Alec knew. If his father hated Downworlders so much, then why had he initiated a mission that would allow Alec to acquire information that could help save Downworlder lives? And if he was the person causing the disappearances, then why would he want Alec investigating into their cause? But more than that, Alec simply couldn't reconcile this new information with what he knew of his father. All of Alec's life, Robert had been nothing but gentle and kind. Alec had never seen a trace of hatred in any of his father's actions. So how could any of this be true?

"Alec! Please slow down!" Magnus was a few steps behind him, and Alec finally did slow down, fighting back laughter as he realized just how out of breath Magnus really was. "I meant nothing by it, but I spoke the truth," Magnus said as soon as he'd sufficiently caught his breath. "People change, and I would be the first person to admit that your father has changed dramatically since the first time I met him." Alec finally glanced at Magnus then, the question in his eyes. "Your father has made himself an ally of Downworld over the past few years, but Malcolm seems to think that he has done so in order to become inconspicuous." Alec looked away from Magnus at that, the disgust clearly written on his face as he made no point of hiding it.

For a moment, Magnus was silent, but when he spoke again, he was much calmer than Alec would have thought. "I do not pretend to know what is going on with your father, but there is one thing that I do know," he said, causing Alec to glance toward him once more. "Whatever you think you're going to do needs to be stopped right now. You cannot walk into the Institute and interrogate your father on the matter. If he really is the culprit, you could be digging yourself a hole that you will never be able to get out of." After all the things he'd heard that night, Alec was fairly certain this was what disgusted and wounded him the most. The thought that his father would ever be capable of hurting him, much less willing to hurt him, was appalling to say the least.

"You know nothing of my father then," Alec coldly responded as they stopped in front of the Institute. "For you to think him capable of Downworlder disappearances is one thing," he continued, registering the surprise in Magnus's expression but ignoring it. "But even if this were my father, I can assure you that I would be completely safe in asking him about the situation." Alec's eyes leveled with Magnus's, and for a moment, Alec could easily see the anger mixed with fear in the warlock's eyes. "I am going to question my father no matter what your thoughts on the subject are. My father has always been open with me, and there is no reason to think he would be otherwise now."

As soon as Alec had said it, he realized his error, but there was no taking his words back now. But what surprised him the most was Magnus's response, the warlock's voice so much colder than Alec had ever heard it. "Open?" he asked, his voice hinting at the irony of the situation. "Just like he was open with you about being in the Circle?" At that, Alec turned and stepped into the Institute's gate, slamming it behind him. Who did Magnus think he was to question their family in this way? One interaction with Robert almost two decades ago and he suddenly thought himself an expert on the Lightwoods? Alec heard Magnus call after him, but it was too late, the Institute's doors were already closing, and Alec slumped against them, leaning on the safety of the fact that Magnus could not follow him. Yet it took Alec several seconds to realize that his father was now standing directly in front him him, his arms crossed in the most disapproving of ways.  
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Magnus cursed as the Institute doors closed behind Alec. He never should have taken Alec with him to Malcolm's, but then again, he'd never imagined that Malcolm would have that kind of information for them. And he'd also never imagined that the Lightwood children were still in the dark about their parents' past. But Alec was clearly very much in the dark. Magnus tamped down his fear as he turned away from the Institute. There was no point in simply standing outside when he could not follow Alec in. Sure, there had been a time when he'd regarded Robert Lightwood as one of the most dangerous Shadowhunter the Circle had to offer. But times had changed, and he no longer imagined Robert as anything other than the most loving of fathers.

Yet Magnus couldn't deny the facts, and he couldn't keep himself from being worried for Alec. Questioning Robert could turn dangerous for Alec in a matter of minutes, no matter how much the young Shadowhunter wanted to deny it. Magnus ran his hands through his hair as he realized that he was utterly powerless to help Alec no matter what happened. The questioning would either go well, or it wouldn't. But either way, Magnus was stuck on the wrong side of the Institute doors. He idly began wondering just when he'd become so concerned about Alec. After spending a month working so closely with Alec, Magnus had to admit that he hadn't taken the time to filter through his feelings for the Shadowhunter.

Alec was infuriatingly beautiful, made even more so by the fact that he had no idea of it. But he was still a Shadowhunter, and Magnus knew that he simply couldn't afford to get caught up in Shadowhunter business in that way. But Magnus was self-aware enough to understand that he'd spent the past month counting the moments until he could see Alec again. Another fact that made him angry, only it made him angry with himself. He all but kicked in the door to his own apartment, his mind such a maze at the moment that he was working on autopilot. It wasn't until he was already through the door that Magnus realized the wards around his apartment had been broken.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I did! I'm really excited about this story in general, and I have some stuff planned that I think you'll love!
> 
> As always, don't hesitate to let me know your thoughts on the story! I love hearing from you!
> 
> Until next week!

Whatever Alec had expected when he first entered the Institute, it certainly hadn't been that he would encounter his father so quickly. Despite what Magnus thought, Alec had actually planned to hole himself up in the library until he could wade through his thoughts enough to formulate a plan that actually made sense. Although Alec hated to admit it, he knew that Magnus was thinking logically about the entire situation. If his father had anything to do with the Downworlder disappearances, then rushing in to interrogate him was certainly not the best move. Even if Alec knew there had to be some other explanation. Even if Alec could never believe his father was capable of such a thing. Even if Alec wanted nothing more than to yell at his father about hiding his past with the Circle.

"Where on Earth have you been?" Robert asked, his eyes sweeping over Alec in a manner that Alec had dubbed the "check-and-go." It was something Robert often did with all four of his children, especially when they were in a hurry, wanting to make sure that they were absolutely fine before hurrying off to take care of the next disaster. Despite everything he had learned that day, Alec couldn't help but smile at Robert's unconscious fatherly instincts. He wanted to tell his father that he was fine, that he'd been out in the middle of the day with no gear and only one seraph blade, so he clearly hadn't been up to anything dangerous, but before he could say anything at all, Robert was speaking again. "Never mind that, as long as you're fine I need your help," he said before turning to stalk quickly through the Institute.

Alec followed his father without a word, suddenly conscious of the fact that Robert was clearly hiding things from him, anger rising to the surface faster than Alec could have imagined. But then Alec had to bite back the guilt he felt welling up inside of him as he realized that he'd spent the past few years hiding things from his father as well. He guessed they both had a lot to own up to, and his only hope was that things would go back to normal after they did. Alec found himself wondering what their "normal" really was as he realized he was being led into the infirmary, and his heart began racing at the thought that something might have happened to his siblings while he was gone. But surely his dad would have called him if anything of the sort had happened.

Yet Alec stopped in his tracks as he saw a young werewolf boy, no more than fifteen, lying on one of the many infirmary cots. Blood was soaking the boy's shirt, despite the fact that Hodge Starkweather was clearly tending to him with very adept hands. "What happened?" Alec asked, whirling on his father with more suspicion packed into his voice than he would have liked. He was trying to keep from jumping to conclusions, but his mind was racing far faster than he wanted, and he was trying to keep up to no avail. While waiting for his father's explanation, Alec went to Hodge's side, knowing exactly what the other Shadowhunter would need. For as long as Alec could remember, Hodge had been their tutor, but that was just his official title. He'd taught Alec practically everything Alec knew about being a Shadowhunter from runes to fighting. Over the years, Hodge had taken to sharing all of the knowledge he had about healing with Alec, which was to say more knowledge than Alec could have ever imagined, making Alec his apprentice in a roundabout way.

"I found him wounded in an alleyway," Robert finally said, his voice a bit distant, but Alec barely noticed, his mind already fully occupied with the wounded boy. "It seems like someone tried to take him and he fought back. There was a lot of blood and he was unconscious when I found him. It seems whoever tried to take him was scared off by the fact that he put up such a fight," Robert concluded, but Alec's mind was already racing off in another direction. How could he believe that his father was helping this boy when someone had so clearly seen Robert taking a different Downworlder? Alec was trying to shake his doubts, but his father was only serving to implicate himself more and more. Yet why would Robert have brought the boy here to be healed if he had been planning on kidnapping the boy in the first place? Unless he needed healthy victims. Alec shrugged that suspicion off, telling himself that Robert would have been hurt in the process as well if that were truly the case.

When Alec found the time to do so, he looked up at his father, searching Robert's face for any signs of deception. "Then why haven't you called the leader of the New York pack?" Alec asked. He repressed a wince as he realized just how much anger was packed into his voice. Robert seemed to notice this too, his eyes darting toward Alec in surprise. Alec never once raised his voice at his father, but he was dangerously close to doing so now. All of the anger and betrayal he felt after the conversation with Malcolm was rushing at him at once, and he had no time to think any of it over. Yet before Alec could say another word, the boy before him seized up in pain, and he moved to place his hand on the boy's shoulder. Seeing people in pain was a common occurrence when your line of work was demon hunting, but there was something so abhorrent about a child in pain that tore at Alec's heart.

"Do you really think they'd believe me, Alexander?" his father asked, a surprising amount of anger mirrored in his own voice. "As soon as the leader heard that we had this boy, they would come running to attack the Institute. There would be no making them see reason. Even the Clave would see it as though I'd broken the Accords." That only caused the anger to well up inside Alec in even greater quantities. How could his father be so blind to what was going on right in front of him? What had clouded his father's judgement so much that he would risk a life to keep himself out from under the Clave's radar? Alec almost began to wonder if it had anything to do with his past in the Circle, but he pushed that thought aside, hoping to get the time to think about that later when he had far fewer distractions.

"So you were more worried about your reputation with the Clave than the life of a child?" he finally asked, all but spitting the words at his father. Robert looked more shocked than Alec had ever seen him, but that didn't change the fact that Alec knew his words were true. Sure, it was probably true that the werewolves would want to immediately blame Robert for the boy's injuries, but if a trial by the Mortal Sword meant saving the boy's life, then why was it even a question for him? The werewolves would have to believe Robert then, if he agreed to trial by the Sword to appease them because he would be physically unable to lie. "Are you hiding something?" he asked, his voice low and cold. Much colder than it had ever been with his father. So cold that he wondered where all of this had actually come from.

For a moment, Robert looked as though he couldn't find a response. His expression was full of open pain, and Alec began to wonder if he'd gone too far. But he couldn't find an explanation for what was going on, he couldn't connect the dots and figure out where the truth truly was, so he simply waited for his father's response, hoping he hadn't done too much damage. "Alexander, what do you take me for?" Robert asked, his voice slow and calm. "Hodge conveyed to me that he could easily heal this child. We'll heal the boy and then I plan on escorting him back to his pack. Do you honestly think that I would put the boy's life on the line in that way?" Instead of responding, Alec simply looked down at the boy before them, moving to wipe away some of the sweat that was most likely beginning to appear on his skin due to the pain that he was in. "Do you honestly think that little of me?"

Alec turned back to his father then, the raw pain in Robert's voice catching him so off guard that he was unable to control his own expression. All that Alec could see in his father's eyes was a pain so genuine he immediately felt an unfathomable amount of guilt for having caused it. He'd never before stooped so low, even when he was angry with his father. But here he was, allowing Malcolm Fade's words to get under his skin to the point of hurting someone incredibly important to him. By the time Alec had formulated any sort of response, his mother was bursting through the infirmary door. "This came for you," she said, handing Alec a letter that was very clearly addressed to him. "It was marked as urgent," she explained, suddenly sensing the tension in the room and realizing that she'd likely interrupted something.

Stepping away from Hodge and the wounded boy, Alec glanced down at the letter. There was no denying that he knew who it was from without looking at its contents. He would know the scrawling script anywhere. After a month of watching Magnus draw maps and write list after list, there was no doubt that the letter was from him. But if the warlock was using magic to send him letters that were marked urgent, then there was certainly something very wrong. Alec tore the letter open despite the fact that both of his parents were eyeing him with open curiosity. He took the deepest breath he could muster, trying to calm his nerves, wondering if Magnus had managed to get himself into trouble in the short time they'd been apart.

Trying to ignore his parents as much as possible, Alec read the letter, not realizing that he was holding his breath. "Alexander, it seems the wards around my apartment have been broken," the letter read, and Alec began to wonder how Magnus had actually had the time to send a letter like this. "I sent this letter magically in a matter of seconds," Magnus's letter continued, explaining Alec's first question. "But make no mistake, I am not requesting your assistance. Quite the opposite. I wanted you to know that, in the event that this is a trap of some sort, all of the information we have gathered has been sent to your room in the Institute. Please do not fret, and please stay away from my apartment until further notice. Yours so very truly, Magnus." Alec quickly folded the letter up, shoving it into his pocket.

Striding back to where his parents were, Alec reached for his stele, already applying runes for strength and agility, knowing that he was likely about to walk into a fight. "Promise me that this boy will get back to his family," Alec said to his father, barely looking up as he continued to apply runes. Robert nodded, but Alec was already halfway toward the door, not stopping to explain anything to his parents. He knew they would be worried, but that was something that could be remedied when he returned home. For now, Alec's only thoughts were of Magnus. The warlock would not have sent him a letter like that if there was no danger present. So Alec ran to his room and retrieved his bow and arrow, grimacing at the pile of papers Magnus had magicked onto his bed. Alec's mind idly protested that Magnus had specifically said to stay away, but Alec told his mind to shut up. He was a Shadowhunter, and it was his job to help people in danger. At least, that was the reason he told himself he was going to help Magnus.  
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Upon entering his apartment, Magnus didn't notice anything immediately astray, but that didn't mean that he was safe. There were very few people in the world who had the power to take down the wards he had so carefully placed around his apartment. There were very few people in the world that Magnus was afraid of. And the biggest problem was that both groups consisted of the exact same people. Before taking another step inside, Magnus magicked a letter to Alec, something that would hopefully keep the Shadowhunter out of trouble long enough for him to make sense of what was going on. Over the past month, Alec had a habit of simply showing up at his apartment when he needed to work on the case. Which was generally not something that bothered Magnus in the slightest. But that was when his wards were up.

As soon as the letter and their information from the investigation were on their way to the Institute, Magnus began to assess the situation in front of him. The entire apartment looked intact, and Chairman Meow was curled up on his couch, sound asleep, as he normally was. This puzzled Magnus the most because he knew that if something was amiss, the Chairman wouldn't be sleeping it off. At least, he wouldn't be unless the intruder had already made a move. And Magnus was certain that there was an intruder. He could feel their magical presence, and he knew that there was likely going to be a fight on his hands. After turning on the lights, Magnus reached to shut the door, hoping that acting normal would lure the intruder out.

And that was when he heard something in the kitchen. But he had to be hearing the wrong thing because Magnus was entirely certain that he was hearing the water running in the sink which was the last thing he'd expected to hear from his intruder. Being highly aware of the fact that the sound of the water could easily be a trap, Magnus cautiously made his way toward the kitchen. As he reached the kitchen door, Magnus readied his hands, sparks already flying from his fingertips. He took several deep breaths, trying to remind himself that he, the High Warlock of Brooklyn, had nothing to fear from a measly intruder. But then the little voice inside his mind reminded him that the measly intruder had made short work of his wards.

Disregarding the little voice, Magnus launched himself through the doorway and into the kitchen, a defensive spell shooting from his hands. But at the last second, Magnus realized his mistake, and he redirected the spell, sending it crashing into the ceiling. Which was actually much worse than if he'd let the spell hit the supposed intruder in the first place as the ceiling decided to collapse under the force of the spell, quickly crashing down toward the floor and the other man. Yet before any of the ceiling could hit either of them, the intruder threw up a spell of his own, halting the falling pieces in their places and swiftly returning them to their former position without so much as glancing up at the ceiling in any way. "Seriously, Magnus? Are you trying to kill both of us?" Ragnor asked, finally turning to face him. "There are much easier ways to do that, you know. Ways that won't knock us out and then slowly suffocate while your cat eats our paralyzed bodies."

For a moment, Magnus was overcome with relief. But that didn't last nearly as long as Ragnor probably thought it would. "Seems as though you were trying to get yourself killed," Magnus replied, moving to turn the sink's water off, completely disregarding Ragnor's snarky, dramatic comments. It seemed as though Ragnor had been planning to cook a meal. In Magnus's apartment. Without Magnus. "Why the hell would you tear down my wards like that? If you wanted to come over, you could have called me. It's not as though we don't have cell phones, Ragnor. You scared the shit out of me, and you know it." Magnus wanted to walk over and smack the smile off of Ragnor's face. Of course Ragnor found this funny, but Magnus was already thinking of the fact that he had unnecessarily contacted Alec, likely worrying him for no reason whatsoever.

Ragnor walked back into the living room then, and Magnus knew there was nothing he could do but follow his friend. He fought back a smile as Chairman Meow moved to curl up in Ragnor's lap. The two of them had always been close, though Magnus couldn't begin to fathom why that was as Ragnor generally despised animals of any sort. "I did call you," Ragnor said, yet not a hint of anger was to be found in his voice. "I called you five times, Magnus. But by that time, the alarm on your wards had been ringing for too long to leave it alone," he explained, and Magnus slowly began to realize that Ragnor was not the person who had taken down his wards. And then Magnus began to realize that if the alarms for Magnus's wards were going off for Ragnor, he had only shown up because he himself had been scared for Magnus's wellbeing.

When Magnus had first moved to New York, Ragnor insisted that they set up an elaborate alarm system for his wards. If anything happened to them, an alarm would sound for Ragnor, no matter where he was, warning him of Magnus's potential danger. "When I got here, I realized that you'd recently fed Chairman Meow and you'd left the TV on for him," Ragnor continued, his voice surprisingly soft, even for him. "So I knew that you'd gone out, but there was no sign of who had taken down your wards." Magnus smiled at that, knowing where this conversation was going already. "So I decided to stay until you got back." Ragnor didn't need to continue the sentence for Magnus to know what he really meant. I stayed because I was still worried. They'd been friends, brothers, for so long that even the most unspoken of things didn't go unnoticed.

"You shouldn't have come in alone," Magnus replied, his voice even and cool. He was trying to keep from upsetting Ragnor more than necessary. "You could have walked into a trap that was meant for me." Ragnor was clearly going to say something in response, but he didn't get the chance to. Not when Magnus was grasping at his arm, wincing in pain. But the pain was all too familiar, and Magnus didn't have to push his sleeve up to know what was happening. Yet he was spared having to do anything at all as Ragnor came to kneel in front of him, grabbing his hand and pushing his sleeve up for him. The color was draining from Ragnor's face, as it usually did when this occurred, and Magnus longed to reach out and comfort his friend. But the pain was shooting through his arm again, and each of his glamours dropped completely despite his better effort.

Looking down at his arm, Magnus was not surprised in the slightest to see that new runes were beginning to appear. He easily recognized the runes for strength and agility that were being etched into his skin. He knew that they would eventually fade and scar his skin, just as the countless other runes had always done, but the burning sensation of the runes always frightened him at first. Before Magnus had the time to think about much else, the pain was suddenly gone, and Ragnor was studying his face with an exceedingly concerned expression of his own. "Ragnor," he half sighed, his voice far more gentle than it had been earlier. "You don't always have to take the pain away for me. It goes away on its own, and it's certainly nothing I'm not used to."

Ragnor seemed to study him for a few more seconds before finally standing up once more and returning to his seat on the couch. "I know," he replied, his voice slightly shaky as it always seemed to become when Magnus was in pain. "The runes just alarm me every single time," Ragnor continued, his gaze steadily focused on the floor in a way that told Magnus his mind was far away from them at the moment. "No matter how much I remind myself that they're from your soulmate, each time they pop up I can't help but react." Magnus wanted to reassure Ragnor, to let him know that he felt the same way, but he wasn't entirely sure of how to do so, so he simply remained silent, allowing Ragnor a moment alone with his thoughts.

For the past seventeen years, Magnus had been adjusting to the fact that he now had a soulmate somewhere out in the world. But it had only been about seven years since he'd learned that his soulmate was a Shadowhunter, the other person's first rune carving itself into Magnus's skin as well. At first, Magnus had glamoured the runes and their scars because he despised them. The world was playing a very cruel joke on him, and he wasn't going to play along. But as the years wore on, the runes had seemed to become as much a part of him as they were a part of his soulmate. He very clearly remembered the day he'd teared up in pride as the parabatai rune carved itself into his skin, though the pain had been overwhelming. The permanent runes were always the most painful, Magnus had quickly learned.

But now he glamoured the runes out of practicality. He knew that all of Downworld would look down on him with disdain if they knew his soulmate was a Shadowhunter. He would immediately lose his position as High Warlock of Brooklyn, and that would be the end of his life in the Downworld. And if the wrong Shadowhunter ever saw the runes on Magnus's body, he knew that their reaction would be much worse than that of any Downworlder, effectively ruining his life in a much more painful way. Yet Magnus hadn't been able to hide them from Ragnor, at least, not for very long. He'd done well at first, but Magnus eventually found himself in the same room as both Ragnor and Raphael when his soulmate had decided to apply several of the most painful non-permanent runes possible, effectively ridding Magnus of his secret as he tried, and failed, to keep the pain to himself.

They'd all slowly adjusted to the idea of Magnus having a Shadowhunter for a soulmate, but it was still hard for Ragnor to watch Magnus's pain without stepping in to help. Not to mention the fact that the runes themselves alarmed him ever so slightly. It wasn't common for Downworlders and Shadowhunters to be soulmates. In fact, it was so uncommon that Magnus had only ever known one such pair himself, but then again, he didn't remember ever seeing runes on Tessa. "Do you think this has something to do with your Downworld investigation?" Ragnor asked, effectively pulling Magnus out of his soulmate thoughts. "I mean, I know you said you were being careful, but someone could be onto you and Alec." Ragnor paused for a moment, then his tone changed yet again, once more becoming entirely amused. "Why do you always start smiling as soon as Alec's name is mentioned?" he asked, mischief twinkling in his eyes.

"I do not," Magnus immediately fired back, though he realized too late that he truly had been smiling at Alec's name. Ragnor started shaking his head, but Magnus could tell that there was no hostility in the other man's actions. "And if it has to do with the investigation, we'll find out soon enough." Magnus went on to quickly explain the day's events to Ragnor, hoping that his friend might have more insight on the situation at hand. "If Robert Lightwood truly has anything to do with this, he can't lie low for much longer. Now that Malcolm knows his name, half of Downworld will be on the lookout for him," Magnus concluded, not voicing the fact that he was afraid this would extend to Robert's children as well, though he knew that when it came to Ragnor, he likely didn't have to voice that thought for Ragnor to know that he was thinking it.

For a moment, Ragnor seemed as though he was going to say something that might actually be useful to the case, but before he could so much as open his mouth, the door to Magnus's apartment burst open, all but flying off the hinges. Both he and Ragnor were on their feet in seconds, Magnus reflexively throwing up his glamours in surprise, though later that night, he would wonder exactly why his glamours were his comfort spell. This time, Magnus refrained from firing any attack spells, having clearly learned his lesson from prematurely firing on Ragnor. Before Ragnor could seem to get his own spell done with, their new intruder was already firing an arrow. Much in the same way that Magnus had earlier acted, the intruder seemed to realize their mistake at the last second, pulling up on their bow just in time for the arrow to whiz safely above Magnus's head, lodging itself into one of Magnus's many bookcases.

It took Magnus several seconds to slow his mind down enough to realize exactly what was going on, and by the time he had done so, Alec was already saying, "Your wards are still down, Magnus." By that time, Ragnor was already laughing hysterically, the irony of the situation apparently not lost on him. But Magnus was focusing on the fact that Alec had said his name as though his life had depended on it, as though the world had righted itself as soon as Alec had realized there was no danger. "Were you even going to tell me that you were fine?" he asked, this time his voice betraying his new-found anger. "Or were you planning on letting me lose sleep while you had a relaxing night drinking wine with your best friend?"

At first, Magnus had no idea of what to do. Alec's voice was packed with so much more anger and bitterness than he had ever heard. Yet behind Alec's eyes, Magnus could see the fear that the young Shadowhunter was so plainly trying to hide. At that, Ragnor decided that it was time for him to return to the kitchen, muttering something about laying the foundation for new wards before saying something along the lines of, "At least he knows you well." Magnus sighed, taking a seat once more as Ragnor disappeared into the kitchen. Though he was under no impression that Ragnor would not be listening to their conversation. "I do apologize for the false alarm," Magnus began, trying his best to figure out how to calm Alec down. "I had forgotten about the alarm system Ragnor and I set up. In the heat of the moment, I never imagined that Ragnor would already be here."

At that, Alec snorted in a way that Magnus had never imagined he actually could, all of his anger channeling into the noise. "After the heat of the moment did you even think of calling me? Or, I don't know, even just texting me that you were fine?" Alec asked, and this time, Magnus could easily hear that his anger was diminishing with the relief of knowing that Magnus was safe. Magnus attempted to distract Alec with the fact that he had so distinctly requested that Alec stay away from the apartment, but the Shadowhunter's anger-filled response was swift. "What was the point of your letter if you didn't want me to come help? What did you expect me to do when you told me something like that? I'm not stupid, Magnus; I know what kind of power it would take to take break your wards." Magnus was trying to study Alec's face, to pick up on exactly what the Shadowhunter was feeling.

But Mangus realized very quickly that he couldn't really pin down any one emotion of Alec's, so he stopped trying, focusing on his own words instead. "If I'm being honest with you," Magnus said, despite his best intentions, "I had no idea that you would react this way. I sent you the letter in explanation for the sudden appearance of a pile of papers on your bed." He was trying to keep his voice even and calm, but the way Alec was looking at him had Magnus's heart skipping a few more beats than Magnus cared to admit. "Not to mention the fact that I was trying to keep you out of harm's way since you seem to have developed a habit of showing up here of your own accord. Why do you care so much?" he finally asked, feeling a weight lift off his mind as he got to the point of the entire conversation. Magnus shoved aside the thought that his voice had been infinitely more gentle than he had intended for it to be.

Yet at his question, Alec turned away from him, rolling his eyes as he did so. It was suddenly very clear to Magnus that Alec was trying his hardest to seem angry and aloof, but other emotions were coming through as well despite his best efforts. "You're an idiot," he replied, his voice much lower and softer than it had been just moments before. "How can the High Warlock of Brooklyn be such an oblivious idiot?" Alec asked, laughing when he saw Magnus's expression. Magnus was trying to put the pieces together, but nothing Alec was saying was adding up in any coherent way. He knew what he felt for Alec, that was certain. But over the past month, Magnus had been working on tamping those feelings down, continually reminding himself that their time spent together was purely in the name of business.

For weeks, Magnus had been holding himself back when it came to Alec. He'd toned down the flirting, he'd stopped making open advances as he had when he'd asked Alec to dance with him. Yet even his best efforts hadn't kept Magnus's heart from speeding up every time Alec walked into the room. They hadn't kept him from wondering when he would be able to see the Shadowhunter again. And apparently they hadn't kept him from smiling at even the mention of Alec. No matter how much he had denied it, he was falling for the young man in front of him. And he was falling hard. "You really don't get it, do you?" Alec asked, his exasperation openly evident. "I came here because I care," he said in the most matter-of-fact way possible, as though it was simply a fact of life that would never change.

"I came here because the thought of you being in that kind of danger made me sick with fear, Magnus," Alec continued, his tone changing yet again in a way that Magnus couldn't even being to follow. "I came here because I wasn't going to be able to function until I knew that you were okay. Why do I care?" he echoed back, the hint of a smile finally appearing on his face for the first time since he'd entered the apartment. "I care because you are easily the most amazing person I have ever met, both inside and out," he quickly added, his eyes darting toward the floor in embarrassment, and Magnus almost wondered whether Alec was going to lose his resolve stop talking altogether. "I care because you spend your life taking care of others, but I know that sometimes you need someone to take care of you. I care because -" Alec's words were cut off as Magnus's lips found his. Magnus wasn't completely sure that he remembered even standing up, but that was beside the point because he was already lost to an entirely new world.

Somewhere between the couch and Alec, Magnus had lost all of the resolve he'd been building up over the past month. At some point before their lips had found each other, Magnus had reached up to place a gentle hand under Alec's chin, effectively bringing the Shadowhunter to him. At first, all Magnus could focus on was the fact that Alec's lips were so much softer than he'd ever imagined. And he'd done a lot of imagining. But then Alec seemed to recover from whatever surprise-induced haze he'd been in, and suddenly the Shadowhunter was kissing him back. Alec responded almost immediately, melting into Magnus in a way the warlock hadn't really thought was possible. It was quite possibly the gentlest kiss Magnus had ever experienced, but every part of his body was waking up as though he'd spent at least two centuries hibernating.

Logically, Magnus knew that they hadn't kissed for very long, but the moment stretched on in his mind to an impossible length. As soon as they pulled apart, Magnus's body began to protest, already missing the way Alec had seemed to fit so perfectly with him. For several long moments, Alec simply searched Magnus's face as it was his turn to put the pieces together and make sense of the situation in front of him. "Why?" Magnus asked, noticing the heaviness in his voice that could only be explained by the fact that Alec was still holding onto his shirt. "Why tell me all of that? Why now?" he clarified as Alec's expression shifted toward an even more open sort of confusion. Not that he was really protesting the fact that Alec had admitted his feelings.

Alec's smile began to widen, and Magnus forced himself to meet Alec's eyes, knowing that staring at the Shadowhunter's smile would likely only result in another kiss and no answers. "For starters, you're an idiot, as previously pointed out," Alec said, his voice also considerably heavier. "And because I've spent the past month trying to wade through my feelings for you. On the way here, all I could imagine was walking in here and finding you dead. But then I got here and I saw you, and well, let's just say that the relief I feel now is rather clarifying." Alec was clearly retreating back into the more shy and reserved person he usually was, his courage draining as the moment they'd shared began to fade away. "What does this make us now?" Alec asked in one quick breath, as though he was finally realizing the weight of what had just occurred.

At this, Magnus took the opportunity to lead Alec back toward the couch, hoping that taking a seat would calm the Shadowhunter down. Alec was generally on the verge of apologizing for who he was, and Magnus hated watching that, yet he still hadn't figured out quite how to show Alec that the person he was called for no apologies. "What do you want this to make us?" he asked, admittedly skirting around his own answer. For a moment, Alec began studying his face, clearly trying to make sense of why Magnus had asked this. But the one thing that Magnus would never voice was the fact that he wanted to give Alec control of the situation. He wanted Alec to take control because, despite what most people seemed to think, he had absolutely no experience when it came to being romantically involved with Shadowhunters. And the last thing he wanted to do was to dive into unknown waters only to have his heart broken. Not that it wouldn't be a privilege to have his heart broken by Alec Lightwood.

But Magnus almost felt as though allowing Alec to take control would give him some distance from the situation. If things ever went south, Magnus had the feeling that this would help him feel less responsible, as if maybe the fact that it was Alec's decision would make things easier for him. But looking back at Alec once more, Magnus knew that all of this was just one large lie he was trying to feed himself. If he was being completely honest with himself, he was making this Alec's decision because he was scared that Alec didn't want the same things he wanted from their relationship, and he was hoping to save himself the embarrassment and hurt. But then Alec seemed to have finally figured out his answer as the Shadowhunter quickly turned toward Magnus, leaning into him with such silent speed and grace that Magnus barely had time to register the situation before Alec's lips found his again.

This time, they were both far less gentle than they had been before. Both of their bodies seemed to understand that they were on the same page, that they wanted the exact same things, and no words needed to be shared to clarify that. They were no longer afraid that they were overstepping themselves, and for the first time in weeks, Magnus felt himself fully relaxing. He was no longer the High Warlock of Brooklyn, the Downworlder everyone expected to save the day and fix the Downworld situation. In that moment, he was just Magnus, and if that was good enough for Alec, then that was more than good enough for him.  
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Laying in bed later that night, Magnus couldn't help but rub the place on his arm where their newest runes had been applied. After painstakingly putting his wards back up, his arm was aching. Between the pain of his soulmate's runes and the exertion it took to build new wards, his arm was practically begging him to simply go to sleep. Yet Magnus couldn't change the fact that thoughts of Alec were what was truly keeping him awake, the prospect of their new relationship equal parts exciting and terrifying. In his near-sleep haze, Magnus couldn't help but smile at the thought, knowing that this could easily be the best thing to happen to him in centuries. As his mind wandered, it landed on thoughts of the impending winter and the fact that he would likely see more of Alec's infuriatingly endearing sweaters as the cold only deepened. Just before sleep came to him, Magnus had the wildly random thought that he'd never actually seen Alec in anything that wasn't long-sleeved, meaning that he'd never truly seen Alec's runes, just the one he'd once placed partially on his neck. But before Magnus could wonder about the Shadowhunter's rune placement any longer, the peacefulness of sleep was upon him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! I hope you enjoy this week's chapter! We're finally going to be getting into the story so to speak and beginning the action!
> 
> So I'm at the point in my summer where the time to write is very very little, so this is the point where I begin to make no promises about how close I can stick to my schedule! Hopefully I'll be able to post at least on Sundays, but we'll see!
> 
> As always, let me know your thoughts on this chapter! I love to hear from y'all! Enjoy!

"Take this and drink it," Magnus said, though his tone of voice was pretty far away from being an order. "You need it," he added as Alec looked up to see him holding out a mug full of freshly brewed coffee. Alec couldn't help but smile at the gentleness of Magnus's voice and the way he was absentmindedly rubbing his thumb back and forth across Alec's shoulder. He knew that Magnus wouldn't stop worrying until he actually drank the coffee, so he took the mug and watched as the warlock came to sit down across the table from him. It had been three weeks since their meeting with Malcolm and their subsequent confession of feelings. But that meant that yet another Downworlder had disappeared, and if the pattern held, another person would go missing the very next week.

But what had brought Alec to Magnus's apartment this late at night was the fact that two more Downworlders had died within two days of one another. Yet again, there was no pattern, and yet again, there seemed to be no way of predicting or preventing these deaths. So Alec had showed up at Magnus's, both of them ignoring the fact that Alec was trying to appear as though he wasn't worried. Both of them knowing that this was a very blatant lie. In the end, despite both of them knowing that Alec was only really there because he was worried about Magnus's safety, they'd decided to go over the cases again. Alec simply couldn't stand the thought of losing any more Downworlders, and even if they were getting nowhere, at least he felt like he was doing something productive that might eventually lead somewhere. "Have you talked to your father yet?" Magnus asked, turning Alec's thoughts to an entirely new side of the case.

Alec involuntarily sighed, reaching to run a hand through his hair. He'd promised Magnus almost a week ago that he was going to talk to his father, but every time he tried to do so, he lost all resolve. Alec had spent weeks overthinking the entire situation, and the worst part was that he was very conscious of this. And he was also conscious of the fact that having that conversation with his father could easily give them the leads they'd been looking for. But no matter how hard he tried, Alec simply couldn't take his mind out of the equation. Either his father was or wasn't involved with the Downworlder disappearances. But even if he wasn't, Alec couldn't erase the thought that the very conversation would hurt his father. So he'd gone back and forth for weeks, unable to gather the courage to do absolutely anything about his suspicions. He'd even thought of following his father until the situation was cleared up, but that was a level that Alec simply couldn't stoop to. "No, not yet," he admitted, not meeting Magnus's eyes because he was afraid of the disappointment he would likely see there.

They both knew that this conversation could potentially save lives, but Alec knew that Magnus was too kind to actually voice this to him. "Let me see if I have everything correct," Magnus said, and Alec braced himself, feeling as though Magnus was finally going to let him have it. "Your father, the person you're closest to, has been hiding things from you all of your life, but you have yet to confront him about that." Alec simply nodded, still refusing to meet Magnus's eyes. But then Magnus's hand found his, and Alec couldn't help but look up at the other man. He'd been so sure he knew where the conversation was headed, but now he wasn't so confident. "And you don't want to talk to your father about this because that would guilt you into coming out to him, since you've been hiding that from him for years. But you feel you can't come out to him because you're afraid you'll lose him," Magnus finished, his tone entirely matter of fact. "Am I anywhere close to correct?"

Alec couldn't help but move to lace his fingers through Magnus's. He couldn't have said any of it better himself, and he began to feel slightly guilty for his surprise over that. Of course Magnus understood him in this way; he was stupid to think that Magnus wouldn't. "That's exactly it," he breathed, his voice barely above a whisper. At that, Magnus gave his hand a very gentle squeeze, and Alec returned it. They didn't need to say anything else for each of them to know what the other was thinking. Alec knew that Magnus was trying to tell him that he understood and would be there for Alec no matter what. So Alec simply returned to his work, quickly reviewing the new disappearances with Magnus, their fingers remaining intertwined. Yet even as they waded through the new information, both of them seemed to understand that nothing new and useful was going to come out of it.

Yet Alec forced himself to walk through each case once more, taking things just as slowly as they ever had. Maybe even slower if he was being completely honest about it. They had only gotten through four of the cases when Magnus suddenly stood up, finally separating their hands. He quickly walked over to Alec with the easy grace he always held, the sort of grace Alec had come to adore. "Dance with me?" he asked, holding out his hand to Alec once more, the smile on his face full of more emotions than Alec cared to wade through at the moment. At first, Alec glanced down at the papers in front of them, concerned that they would fall behind in some way, though there was nothing to fall behind in since they were making absolutely no progress. "We need a break, Alexander," Magnus continued, his voice far too enticing. "Plus, we haven't danced together since the night we met, and I must admit that I wish to know that feeling once more."

As Alec finally stood up, Magnus waved his free hand and music suddenly filled the apartment. Slowly, Alec realized that he was smiling, realized that just the thought of sharing this sort of moment with Magnus made his heart race in anticipation. As soon as he was in Magnus's arms, the rest of the world faded away. Nothing else mattered in that moment, and Alec couldn't find it in himself to so much as wish that anything mattered. In a matter of seconds, Alec felt himself relax so completely in a way he hadn't in weeks. He leaned into Magnus, allowing the warlock to take the lead this time, allowing the sound of the music and the feeling of Magnus's arms around him wash over him. It took several long moments of dancing before Alec realized that Magnus had played the same song they had shared their first dance to. He looked up at Magnus in surprise, his heartbeat racing once again at the soft smile that was spread across Magnus's face. "What?" Magnus asked, his voice an almost breathless whisper. "Did you think I'd forget to soon?"

Alec smiled back at him, moving in a way that allowed him to quickly and softly kiss Magnus while still keeping their dancing in time with the music. "No," Alec replied as soon as they'd pulled apart. He smiled when he realized just how much Magnus hadn't wanted their kiss to end, all but chasing after Alec. "I just didn't expect you to be such a romantic," he confessed, laughing as Magnus feigned shock. "You know, I always imagined the High Warlock of Brooklyn as this badass hero who would never so much as have time for such trivial things as love and romance and awkward Shadowhunters," Alec continued, resting his head on Magnus's shoulder. He heard Magnus snort, and he felt the warlock's shoulder rise and fall in quiet laughter, and for some inexplicable reason, Alec felt a happiness so strong well up in him that he wasn't exactly sure how to handle it. So he simply closed his eyes, easily allowing Magnus to lead him around the room, his Shadowhunter training allowing him to keep up with Magnus's elegant grace.

After several moments of silence, Alec suddenly felt Magnus kiss his forehead, a gesture so unimaginably gentle that it caused Alec's heart to race in an entirely new way. "You are anything but trivial, Alexander," Magnus finally responded, his voice impossibly soft in a way that Alec had never heard. He'd thought that Magnus would respond with a joke about how he was, indeed, a badass hero, but the warlock had gone in the opposite direction, opting for a gentleness that Alec simply hadn't expected. So Alec allowed himself to drift there, feeling himself relaxing more and more with every second that passed. It almost felt as though something had finally clicked, and he realized just how perfectly he fit into Magnus's arms, almost as though they were neighboring pieces of a puzzle. Alec smiled even more as he felt Magnus relax as well, something he was entirely sure Magnus had been unable to do for weeks.

And then Alec's phone was suddenly ringing and the music stopped and the moment was irrevocably ruined. For a moment, they simply stood in the middle of Magnus's living room, staring at each other as though they were daring one another to ignore the ringing phone and carry on as before. But then Alec realized that it was the ringtone he'd assigned to his father, and he forced himself to go back to the kitchen table and answer his phone. Alec involuntarily sighed as Robert asked him how quickly he could be home. "I know, I know," Robert said, and Alec could hear the amusement in his voice. "But I need to send you on a mission tonight, and I need you home so that I can give you all the information. Hodge thinks he may have found demonic activity that may be connected to the Downworlder situation." Alec snapped to attention at that. This could be the lead they had been looking for.

"I'll be there in fifteen minutes," Alec promised before hanging up. He quickly filled Magnus in, explaining that he had to leave because this could be their first real break in the case. Before leaving, Alec asked Magnus to check the integrity of his wards, something that earned a chuckle from Magnus. But Alec couldn't help but ask this of him. They still hadn't figured out exactly who had taken Magnus's wards down, and Alec had been having trouble falling asleep on the nights that he remembered this little fact. He was slightly surprised when Magnus did so without any complaints, clearly wanting to put Alec's mind at ease as much as possible. Alec watched as Magnus worked the spell needed to check on the wards. He knew that Ragnor had helped Magnus reinstate the wards, and both warlocks had promised him that the wards were much stronger than they had been before. But Alec couldn't help but wonder if they were strong enough to keep Magnus's intruder out.

Before finally heading home, Alec slipped into Magnus's embrace once more, hoping that the memory of Magnus would be enough to last him until he could see the warlock again. "The wards are stronger than they've ever been," Magnus said as he wrapped his arms around Alec. Despite his best evaluation, Alec couldn't find a hint of deception in Magnus's voice, so he forced himself to believe that Magnus was completely safe tonight. "Now go off and save the world, Shadowhunter," Magnus finished, and Alec moved to quickly kiss the smile off of his face. But before he could be pulled back into the feelings they'd earlier shared, Alec forced himself to let go of Magnus and head home, promising himself that he would spend much more time like this with Magnus as soon as they solved the Downworlder cases.  
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Magnus couldn't help but pour himself a glass of wine almost as soon as Alec left. It was going to be a long night, but Magnus had been expecting a long night with Alec. Now he was alone, unless you counted Chairman Meow, and he still had work that he'd been avoiding for days. He'd told Alec that his wards were stronger than ever, and that was the truth. But Magnus couldn't shove aside the sinking feeling that "stronger than ever" simply wasn't strong enough. The list of people Magnus had deemed strong enough to take down his wards was dangerously short. There was Ragnor, but of course it hadn't been Ragnor. There was a number of High Warlocks all across the world, but he'd quickly made short work of that particular list. Every single one of those warlocks strong enough to do the job had alibis that checked out.

Magnus had racked his brain for days, trying to come up with as many alternatives as possible, but he was finally down to one group of people. If you could call them people. The only beings left in the world that could have taken those wards down were Greater Demons, if you didn't count angels, and Magnus didn't because he doubted any angel would care enough about the dealings of people on earth. And Magnus only knew one Greater Demon that would be interested in him enough to go to the trouble of so much as visiting him, much less taking down his wards. He'd scoured his apartment, but in the end, he' been unable to detect anything that might be missing. So why would his father have taken down his wards and left, leaving his apartment untouched and de-warded? It certainly hadn't been because Ragnor had showed up on the scene. Magnus knew from experience that even the most powerful warlocks, like Ragnor, were no match for his father. But Magnus also knew that if it had indeed been his father, no wards that Magnus could put up would ever keep him out. The only wards he'd ever known to keep his father out were those around Alicante, and even those just barely made the cut.

Yet the problem was that Magnus wasn't afraid of being on his father's radar. When your father made his home in his own personal corner of hell, as Asmodeus most certainly did, you were always on someone's radar, and that was a fact that you simply got used to. But the problem was that Magnus knew that Alec could very easily be put on Asmodeus's radar as well, if he wasn't already. Magnus sighed and put down his glass of wine, knowing what he had to do, though it was the absolute last thing he actually wanted to do. Demon summoning was something he hated with everything he had, but there was one particular demon he could always count on to know his father's whereabouts, and right now, that was the one thing he needed to know the most.

So Magnus began to set up the pentagram he would need, knowing that the demon he wanted to summon was far too weak to need any heavy duty sort of bindings. He couldn't help but curse as pain shot through his arm, just as he was almost done with the summoning. He would have to start all over, and he only had his soulmate to thank for that. Runes of surefootedness and stamina were beginning to carve themselves into Magnus's arm. He had the fleeting thought that those were the type of runes Alec would likely be applying before his own mission, but he quickly shoved that thought aside. There was no use in dwelling on thoughts that boiled down to nothing more than wishful thinking. The fact that Alec was about to go on a mission had nothing to do with the fact that Magnus's soulmate was applying runes. Shadowhunters went on missions and hunts constantly, and they applied runes even more often.

Magnus told himself there was no use in getting worked up over such coincidences. His soulmate could be preparing themselves for absolutely anything at the moment. So Magnus turned his attention back to the summoning, starting over, going through the motions that he knew a little too well. The demon who eventually showed up was not at all surprised to find that it was Magnus who had summoned it. In this world, the demon couldn't take a physical form, so Magnus simply looked away instead of trying to find a face to focus on in the whirling mist that was the demon. "Let me guess," it said in the same voice that never failed to give Magnus chills. It always sounded like nails on a chalkboard. "You want information about your father?" it asked, and Magnus could have sworn he heard a hint of amusement in its voice.

At first, Magnus nodded, but then he realized just how ridiculous that was since the demon didn't actually have eyes to see him with. "I want to know where my father was the last time he was on earth," Magnus said, making sure to be more specific than most people would have thought of. With demons, you had to ask for the exact thing you wanted. Otherwise, you never knew what you were going to get from them in return. "If he's not here now, that is," Magnus added, knowing full well that his father spent most of his time on earth. Over the years, Magnus had tried to become accustomed to that little fact, but the thought was still as terrifying now as it had been the first time he'd had it. His father was a force to be reckoned with, and that was something he wouldn't wish on his worst enemy. Or at least, he wouldn't have if his worst enemy wasn't actually his own father.

The demon seemed to try to laugh before answering, only causing Magnus to wince. "If I remember correctly, it seems Lord Asmodeus was in this very dwelling the last time he graced earth with his glorious presence," it finally replied, confirming Magnus's worst fears. He had the fleeting thought that his father being royalty made him royalty as well. But the last thing Magnus would ever want was to be recognized as a prince among demons. He would much rather be a pesant among angles. Which was part of the reason that he'd been on his father's radar for so long. Demons didn't have such powerful children without the thought that their children might one day work for them. Time and time again, Magnus had rejected his father, and each time he did so, that only made Asmodeus angrier. And Magnus wasn't one to be scared by people's anger, but when it came to his father, just the thought of Asmodeus's wrath made him flinch.

He'd often wondered why his father hadn't simply killed him yet. It wasn't as though Asmodeus didn't have the power to do so. But after several years of research, Magnus had discovered that he was the only one of Asmodeus's children to ever turn him down on his work offers, and he had long suspected that Asmodeus enjoyed the challenge that Magnus presented to him. Which had always been fine with Magnus. Staying out of his father's reach seemed to be easy enough, and the danger was something he had quickly gotten used to. But that was before he'd fallen in love with a Shadowhunter. Sure, he'd been with tons of people over the centuries, but the fact of the matter was that Asmodeus would be fascinated with the idea that his son was dating a Shadowhunter. And where Asmodeus was concerned, fascination was the last thing you wanted him to feel.

Magnus wanted to be relieved at the fact that his father was not on earth at the moment. He wanted to feel safe because of it, but he simply couldn't allow himself to do so. Just because Asmodeus was not on earth, that didn't mean that he wasn't plotting and building up power. Magnus wanted to send the demon back to where it had come from, unable to stand any more gushing about his father, but suddenly, the demon's eerie laugh jerked Magnus out of his thoughts. "Does your father know what's going on with your magic?" it asked, laughing again when Magnus assured it that he had no idea what it was referring to. But even he could hear that he was trying to convince himself of that more than anything. "You're tiring more easily; you're growing weaker in general. Or have I misinterpreted your aura?" Magnus didn't respond. They both knew the answer to that question.

For weeks, Magnus had been noticing changes in his magical abilities. It had begun slowly at first, and Magnus had ignored every single sign he'd been given. He'd thought that he was just tiring faster because he'd been doing more magic getting less sleep. But then he'd gotten several days of rest, and he'd still found himself tiring after spells that used to give him no trouble at all. He was growing weaker, the demon had that much right, no matter how long Magnus had been lying to himself about that. But Magnus didn't want to admit this to anyone at the moment, much less an inconsequential demon he'd summoned for information. So he sent the demon back to where it had come from without another word, knowing that it likely wouldn't be long before the demon found Asmodeus and told him about this highly interesting turn of events.

Just the thought of his father finding this out made chills run down Magnus's spine. Asmodeus had never made a move on him because he believed that Magnus could eventually be useful to him. His father had spent years chasing after him, so to speak, trying to find ways to convince Magnus to work for him. And Magnus had always believed that this was what had kept him safe for centuries. But if his father knew that he was losing power, then his father would eventually come to the realization that Magnus was losing his usefulness. And if Magnus lost his usefulness, then he would also lose his safety. For centuries he'd held onto that safety with everything that he had. Magnus had seen first hand what his father was capable of, and he'd always thanked his lucky stars that he'd found a way to keep out of his father's reach. But now Asmodeus certainly had a reason to close in on Magnus, and if demons of the lowest class were beginning to notice the change in Magnus's magic, then it was clearly not something Magnus could ignore for much longer.

But Magnus forced himself to keep from dwelling on that, and he returned to the papers he and Alec had spread out in the kitchen. The most puzzling thing about the entire case was that, despite the fact that he and Ragnor and one of the Silent Brothers had analyzed several of the Downworlder bodies, no one could pinpoint a cause of death for any of the Downworlders. And Magnus began to wonder if this had anything to do with his father. Yet just as Magnus had no idea why his father would be searching his apartment, Magnus had no idea why his father would be kidnapping or killing Downworlders seemingly at random. Before long, Magnus shoved the papers aside, picking up Chairman Meow as he made his way toward his bedroom, hoping that he would be able to fall asleep without worrying about Alec for too long. He shoved away thoughts of just how tired he truly was, and just how much energy it was taking for him to keep his glamours up. As much as he hated to admit it, the demon he'd summoned had had a pretty solid point. And Magnus didn't know how much longer he could go without consulting someone like Ragnor about his personal situation.  
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Alec was entirely sure that his night couldn't get any worse. He'd been planning on staying at Magnus's as late as possible, but he couldn't ignore the fact that his father was right in saying they needed to investigate some specific demonic activity. Robert had sent them to Pandemonium yet again after catching them up on the fact that several mundanes had recently gone missing from the club. They had no idea if this had anything to do with the Downworlder disappearances, but it was close enough to warrant concern. Which was why Robert wanted them on the case instead of a team the Clave might send in. So they'd gone out into the cold in search of any clues that might at least lead them toward the right track. It hadn't been snowing when they'd left the Institute, but Alec knew that a storm was coming before the night was over, and he wished he hadn't been forced to put gear on instead of one of his many sweaters.

It hadn't taken them long to find the demons responsible for the mundane disappearances, and to Alec's disappointment, it seemed as though this was purely a demonic case that had nothing to do with the Downworlder disappearances. So Alec had assumed that this would be a routine mission, but naturally he had been dead wrong as he was currently staring at a mundane girl, trying to figure out what to do since she was screaming her head off at the sight of Jace's weapons. All of the logic within Alec told him that no mundane should be able to see them, especially not when they were so heavily glamoured. But here she was, putting herself in the middle of Jace and Izzy's fight with the demon, almost as though she was trying to protect it. Alec could hear Jace trying to explain to her that the demon was not actually a human being as she likely thought it was, but the little redheaded girl wasn't buying it.

As always, Alec was working the perimeter, making sure that he would be the first to know if another demon came out of nowhere and tried to attack Izzy and Jace. But what Alec hadn't been expecting was for the demon they currently had on the ground to get up enough strength and courage to launch itself at Isabelle's leg. And it was clear that Izzy hadn't been expecting it either. She hit the ground with a sickening thud just as the redheaded girl's nerdy mundane friend returned to her side, and Alec forced himself to stay in position, reminding himself that Jace and Izzy were competent enough to handle a surprise attack. Yet Alec didn't have time to analyze the fact that the boy couldn't see them becuase he was suddenly on the ground as well, grasping at his leg in surprise and pain. "Simon!" the girl yelled, looking to Jace for help. But thankfully, Jace was already in action, moving to Isabelle's side faster than Alec had ever seen him move. Alec didn't need to hear Jace to know that he wanted Alec to step in and keep the mundanes out of the situation.

So Alec moved to step in front of the girl, putting himself between her and the struggle with the demon, holding his breath as he realized that some sort of demon blade had sunk itself into Isabelle's right leg. Alec groaned when he realized that Simon was holding onto his right leg in the same exact spot that the blade had entered Isabelle's, blood beginning to ooze out from between his fingers. Of course Isabelle's soulmate was a mundane because nothing could actually get any worse or any more confusing at the moment. Trusting Jace to finish the demon off, Alec quickly took his glamour off, bending down to tear Simon's pants away from the wound. Taking a piece of Simon pants, Alec quickly wrapped the wound as best he could, knowing that the flow of blood was far too fast for this to be of any real help. Not to mention the fact that Simon's wound wouldn't heal until Isabelle's did as well. "How can you see us, little girl?" Alec asked, looking up at the mundane as he held his hands to Simon's wound.

It amused Alec ever so slightly that Simon seemed to be in too much shock to actually ask Alec anything at all. But then Alec realized that they already had several mundanes staring at them, and Alec knew that it wouldn't be long before someone was questioning why Simon had a knife wound. "My name is not little girl, it's Clary," she replied, her fear evident in her voice though Alec knew she was trying to seem calm and collected. "And I don't know the answer to that any more than you do. I don't even know what you really are," Clary said, which sparked a conversation between her and Simon as to what they might be if they weren't humans. Ignoring them, Alec signaled for Jace. He'd just finished applying healing runes to Izzy, but Alec could tell without asking that they weren't working. There had clearly been some sort of poison on the blade, as was the case with many demon blades. Alec took several deep breaths, attempting to slow his heart rate down as fear for his sister began to overwhelm him. He didn't have time for this kind of fear right now.

Alec locked eyes with Simon for the first time that night, knowing that there was no way they were going to get out of the situation at hand without complicating matters even more. "Can you walk?" he asked, and Simon slowly nodded, as though he was trying to convince himself that he could more than he was trying to convince Alec. So Alec simply looped an arm around Simon, helping him stand and ignoring the fact that there were several mundanes who seemed to be on the phone with the police. Instead of speaking to Jace, he simply motioned toward the exit, hoping that they could make it outside without attracting much more attention. Despite the fact that many mundanes had called the police, no one moved to keep them from leaving, and Alec was incredibly thankful for that. As soon as they were outside, he applied a glamour that would allow him to glamour both Clary and Simon simply by touching them, hoping this would buy him enough time to figure out exactly how to proceed.

"We can't leave Simon here, not when he's wounded like that," Jace said as he came up behind Alec, Isabelle unconscious in his arms. Alec wanted to protest that as soon as Isabelle was healed Simon would be fine too, but he knew that Jace was right. Even if Simon was going to end up healed, they certainly couldn't leave Isabelle's soulmate out in the cold. She would kill them if they did that. But more than that, both Clary and Simon had seen them, and Alec knew that meant they were now in danger or seeing more of the Shadow World, which would likely get them killed. So Alec simply nodded and followed Jace, trying his hardest to ignore the fact that Isabelle's breathing was becoming more ragged with every second that passed by. They would get her to Hodge and she would be absolutely fine. Or at least, that was what Alec had to tell himself in order to keep himself upright and walking toward the Institute, especially after Simon himself passed out and had be carried the rest of the way.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! I hope you enjoy this chapter! We're finally getting into the stuff that I'm really excited about, so please please come let me know your thoughts! If you're loving it, let me know! If there's something you're not feeling, let me know that as well! This story has a long road ahead, and I can't wait to share it with y'all and to hear your thoughts on it!
> 
> That being said, I'm nearing the part of my summer that's going to become a jumble of things I have to do one after another, so bear with me if my schedule gets a bit messed up! There will be at least a week or two where I will be taking a break soon, but I will let you know exactly when that is!
> 
> Thanks for your support! Enjoy!

"Magnus! I need your help!" Alec was screaming, his voice much more urgent that Magnus had ever heard it before. But the only thing that seemed to change was the fact that Magnus's heart rate increased more and more with every passing second. It did not at all change the fact that Magnus could not move whatsoever, no matter how much Alec requested his help. He couldn't even so much as tell Alec this. But he was entirely capable of feeling the fear well up inside of him as demons surrounded Alec. Though Magnus knew that he should relax and let Alec do his job; this wasn't Alec's first fight with a demon. But that would have been fine if Alec was fighting one demon. Everywhere the Shadowhunter turned, a demon looked back at him, and everywhere Magnus could see, there were more demons headed toward Alec. They raced past Magnus as though he was invisible, their sights set on Alec.

Yet no matter how hard Magnus struggled, his feet were firmly planted to the ground and his arms would not move from where they hung at his sides. He was completely and utterly helpless, which would not have scared him so much if he was the one in danger and not Alec. It was very clear that Alec was fighting for his life, two seraph blades shining in his hands, moving at impossible speeds. But Magnus knew that Alec's speeds needed to be beyond impossible when there were this many demons involved. Every few seconds, Magnus could see a new wound appear on Alec, his blood running from the wounds at a sickening rate. A rate that made Magnus come to understand that the demons were playing with Alec. They could have easily killed the Shadowhunter by now, but they were enjoying taking their time with him.

With each and every new wound that appeared on Alec, Magnus would have sworn that he could physically feel it himself. They all tore at him in a way that he'd never before felt, and all he wanted to do was look down at his arms and legs to confirm his suspicions. But Magnus could only blink, his entire body directing him toward Alec and the ever worsening situation. It wasn't long before Magnus realized that Alec didn't have very long left in the fight. There was no way that Alec could continue without assistance, and Magnus slowly began to realize that this seemed to be the end for both of them. The last thing he wanted to do was live a life without Alec, but more than that, he could feel his heart, his very soul, ripping itself into pieces at just the sight of Alec struggling in this way. And then suddenly, Ragnor was standing beside of him saying, "Don't worry, I'll help your Shadowhunter," and then racing off toward Alec before Magnus so much as had time to process what was happening.

The next several moments happened very quickly, Magnus knew that, but in his mind they stretched out for an eternity. The sort of eternity that tore lives to pieces and ripped souls from their bodies. And this was only something that Magnus knew because he was experiencing it at that very moment. One moment, Ragnor was rushing to help Alec, spells flying from his hands at speeds that Magnus couldn't even hope to follow. And at first, this seemed to help, taking down several demons and relieving Alec ever so slightly. Magnus almost wanted to smile at that thought. Of course Ragnor would help them. When had he ever let Magnus down? But then the next moment was ushered in, and Magnus felt his entire world shatter faster than he would have thought humanly, angelically, or demonically possible. Ragnor's eyes met Magnus's just moments before he looked down to see a demon's claws protruding from his chest, and -

Magnus woke more violently than he ever had, gasping for air before checking to make sure that every part of his body would move. Eventually, Magnus worked up the nerve to magic up a small spell that simply illuminated the room, doing this partially to make sure that his magic was intact and partially to check that he was physically fine. Just as Magnus allowed the room to sink back into darkness, Chairman Meow came to curl up next to him as close as he possibly could, clearly concerned by the fact that Magnus was shaking ever so slightly. So Magnus all but buried his face in his cat, taking slow, deep breaths as best he could. He'd seen the clock when he'd first woken, and he knew that he couldn't call Ragnor at this time of night. Even if Ragnor was with Raphael, as he most often was, he was always asleep long before now. So he resorted to reminding himself that he would know if something was wrong with Ragnor. Someone would have alerted him long before now.

But convincing himself that Ragnor was fine was not the biggest problem that Magnus faced. The biggest problem was the very simple fact that Magnus didn't dream often. In fact, he couldn't remember ever having a dream of his own. Which was to say that this was because his father enjoyed continually sending him dreams. Magnus would have thought that he would be used to these dreams after having them for centuries, but he knew deep down that he would never become used to them for one major reason: all of his father's dreams were scarily accurate predictions. Sometimes, Magnus would have to interpret their meaning, and that usually resulted in him not understanding the meaning until after the dream's events had occurred. But other times, like tonight, the dreams left no room for interpretation.

But the key that Magnus knew he couldn't avoid was the fact that these "predictions" were so consistently accurate that he couldn't really get by with calling them predictions without lying to himself. They were prophecies to put it lightly, and Magnus knew this whether he admitted it or not. It had been over four centuries, and Magnus had lost count of the dreams his father had sent him, but the fact of the matter was this his father had yet to send him a dream that had turned out to be false. For one of his father's dreams, Magnus had waited an entire century, but the events had eventually come back from the dead, turning Magnus's life into a living hell when they did so. But Magnus knew that this dream wasn't very far away or his father wouldn't be sending it to him now. If Ragnor and Alec were in the same dream, then Magnus certainly didn't have a century to wait.

Yet amid all of the questions and the fears, there was one thing that Magnus knew without a doubt. This was going to be the first dream of Asmodeus's that would never come true. There was a first time for everything, or so he'd been told, and he was going to do everything in his power to make sure that this was it for Asmodeus. Magnus knew full well that Asmodeus liked to use demons as metaphors for various catastrophes, so that was a piece of the puzzle he would have to figure out on his own. But Magnus eventually fell back to sleep after he'd decided that Asmodeus was wrong. More wrong than he had ever been in his eternal life. More wrong than when he fell from heaven and became a Greater Demon. Ragnor was not going to die. And Magnus knew this because he was not going to allow it to happen. He would move heaven and hell and everything in between to keep Ragnor safe. He would worry about what that cost him later.  
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Getting Isabelle and Simon into the Institute's infirmary was no easy feat. But the biggest problem was that Alec was highly aware of the fact that his fear was beginning to overtake him. All Alec needed to do was glance at Isabelle to see that she was growing dangerously weak. Whether this was from her blood loss or the poison that the demon's blade had been drenched in, Alec couldn't tell. But that didn't matter because Isabelle's breathing was becoming more shallow and ragged by the second, and that was all he needed to know. So he dropped Simon off in the infirmary, leaving him on a cot beside of Isabelle's before running through the Institute at full speed looking for Hodge. Alec knew he had far more than a normal amount of knowledge about healing, but this was the kind of situation that called for an expertise that he simply didn't possess.

As soon as he and Hodge got back to the infirmary, Alec spent the next several minutes helplessly watching his tutor work while attempting to explain exactly why they'd brought Simon and Clary with them. Just as Alec had expected, Hodge was horribly unhappy about this turn of events, but he was so completely involved in helping Izzy that there was nothing he could truly do about the mundane situation at the moment. Alec thanked his lucky stars when Jace got the hint and took Clary to get settled in an empty room, knowing that Hodge would be more manageable without the reminder of the new mundane situation. It took a lot to get Clary out of the room as she refused to leave Simon, but Jace was known for his persuasion, so he eventually made it happen for them. Though Alec knew that they would likely be punished for bringing Simon and Clary later, that was fine with him. As long as Isabelle was healed, he didn't care what happened after that. "Where's Dad?" Alec asked, swallowing his fear as best he could, but knowing all too well that he needed to make Robert aware of the mundane situation as soon as possible. If he waited very long to find his father, Robert would only become exponentially more angry.

It took several moments for Hodge to answer, his mind wholly occupied with Isabelle's wounds. "He should be in his room," Hodge finally replied through his teeth. "He's packing for Idris because he's been called in by the Clave. I assumed he'd told you," Hodge continued, momentarily looking up to meet Alec's eyes, confusion written across his face. Instead of responding, Alec turned and left the infirmary, trying to ignore the fear that was so very close to escaping. Alec knew that this fear was something he was going to have to deal with eventually, but his hope was that he could hold it back until Isabelle was fine and the situation with Clary and Simon was resolved. The absolute last thing he had time to do was break down, so he stopped in the hallway before he reached his parents' room and took several deep breaths, forcibly slowing his heart rate, continually reminding himself of just how skilled Hodge was.

He knocked before entering his parents' room, pointedly ignoring the fact that his hands were shaking much more than he would have ever admitted to absolutely anyone. As if the situation with Isabelle wasn't bad enough, his father being called to Idris never amounted to anything good. Not to mention the fact that Alec was left to wonder exactly why his father had yet to tell him about this. At the very least, Robert would generally text him to let him know what was going on, and the fact that Robert had yet to do so left Alec a bit weary of the entire situation. Despite the fact that Alec was holding on with everything he had, things between him and his father seemed to be changing at an alarming rate, and the worst part was that he knew he was powerless to change that. "I was just about to call you," Robert said as soon as Alec walked through the door. Alec felt himself relax ever so slightly as he saw that his father was holding his phone in his hand, Alec's name clearly pulled up on the screen.

But Alec had to swallow back the doubt as he realized this might have been the first honest thing his father had told him in weeks. Or years, if Alec was really being honest with himself. "Hodge already told me that you're being called to Idris," Alec said, his voice scarily calm. With his mind a whirlwind of fear and anger and doubts, the last thing Alec had expected from himself was to be able to effectively hold a calm conversation with his father. "What's going on? Why are they calling you there on such short notice?" he asked, knowing all too well that the Clave rarely called Robert in without giving him at least a day's notice. It was well past midnight in New York, which meant it was early morning in Idris, and if the Clave wanted Robert there immediately, then it could be nothing other than a true emergency. Alec watched as Robert turned to sit on his bed, running his hands through his hair in a way that very publicly showcased his stress level.

"I'm being called in for questioning," Robert admitted, and Alec could hear just how tired his father was. "On top of the fact that the Clave already thinks I am incompetent when it comes to solving the Downworlder case, it seems that someone has given the Clave a description of a man present at one of the crimes." Alec knew what was coming next, but he forced himself to keep a calm composure, to keep from letting his father know that he was highly aware of the information the Clave had been given. "And apparently that man looked exactly like me," he concluded, resignation flooding his voice. "On top of that," Robert continued, meeting Alec's eyes in a way that revealed his own hurt and suspicion. "It seems that many people have reported seeing you spending more than a fair share of time in Downworld. More time than it would take to conduct an investigation. So I guess it makes sense that the Clave wants to make sure I'm clean and competent and that this Institute isn't out of control."

Alec looked down at his feet then, unable to stand his father's gaze. They had never once doubted and questioned each other in this way, and Alec felt his chest tighten at the thought of it. The thought of losing his father's trust was the last thing he could stand at the moment. "Look son," Robert finally continued, seemingly sensing Alec's discomfort. "I won't pretend to have any idea of what's truly going on here. But let me say this: we have never been at odds like this, and frankly, Alec, I'm not sure how much more of this I can take." Alec felt himself take a deep breath, and then he realized that he'd actually been holding his breath in anticipation of what his father was going to say. "You may have thought that I wouldn't notice, but you're angry with me over something, though I cannot imagine what that may be. And despite your best efforts, I can very clearly see that you are hiding things from me." Robert sighed again, and Alec felt himself begin to relax when he realized that there was very little anger left in his father's voice.

"Just promise me something, Alexander," Robert continued, and Alec looked up to meet his father's eyes once more, the gentleness in Robert's voice catching him slightly off guard. He only ever used Alec's full name when he was either angry or incomprehensibly gentle. "Promise me that when I get back, you'll help me work this out," he said, his voice more of a plea than Alec would have thought possible. But before Alec could respond, before he could reassure his father in any way, Robert seemed to notice the blood on him for the first time. "Are you hurt?" he demanded, immediately coming to Alec's side, stele in hand as though he was going to heal Alec whether he was hurt or not. "What happened?" he asked, causing Alec to smile when he recognized the concern etched into every line of his father's body. But then his heart hit the floor when he remembered that he had yet to tell Robert about Izzy, which was the whole reason he'd come here in the first place.

"It's not my blood, Dad," Alec assured him before launching himself into the quickest possible recap of the night's events. Robert remained silent throughout the entire mini speech of Alec's, and Alec was incredibly thankful for that. As soon as Alec was finished, however, Robert moved past Alec and sprinted down the hallway, leaving Alec to meet him in the infirmary when he'd finally collected himself enough to do so. This time, Alec took his time, taking more deep breaths than before, trying to prepare himself from what he might be walking in on. It was entirely possible that Isabelle was worse than when he'd left. Before reaching to open the infirmary door, Alec stopped and closed his eyes, trying his best to right his world. He thought fleetingly of Magnus and the warlock's endearing smile, but then flashes of fear for Magnus's safety took over, and the peace he'd felt was gone.

But Alec knew that panicking over the fact that all of Downworld was in danger was not going to help Isabelle any. So he walked into the infirmary, all but yelling at his mind to simply be quiet and allow him to help his sister. After that, his thoughts and fears could take over if they wanted to. But not until Isabelle was healed. Yet as Alec's mind focused, he felt the fear begin to take over, and his breathing became much more shallow than he would have liked to admit. Jace was there now, holding Izzy down as she seemed to be writhing in pain, the poison likely taking over her body. Alec immediately went to her side, grabbing a towel in the process so he could clean the sweat off of her face. It took several moments for Alec to realize that Hodge was no longer working, his hands no longer moving with the adept skill they had been earlier. "Why aren't you doing anything?" Alec demanded, his voice reflecting the icy cold fear that was currently freezing over his heart. He already knew what this meant. If Hodge wasn't working and Isabelle was still this sick, then there was only one explanation, no matter how fervently Alec tried to deny it.

Hodge slowly began to shake his head, almost as though he was still turning the situation over in his mind, still analyzing every part of it to see what he had missed. "I don't think there's anything else I can do. This poison is much stronger than any I've ever seen," Hodge said, and Alec finally allowed the fear to completely wash over him. He felt Jace reach out for him as his knees began to give way. That was when Jace started arguing with Hodge about how there had to be something, about how they could call the Silent Brothers in if needed, but everyone in the room knew that Isabelle was deteriorating too quickly for that. By the time one of the Brothers arrived, they would have already lost Isabelle. "If we knew of a warlock who could be here within the next five minutes then maybe -" Hodge continued speaking, but Alec didn't hear the rest of what he had to say. He was already on his feet once more, fishing his phone out of his pocket, ignoring the fact that it was hard for him to walk or dial Magnus's number.

Alec didn't pause to think about the fact that he was able to dial Magnus's phone number from memory because it was faster than looking him up in the contacts. That was something he could dwell on later. "Magnus," he breathed, thankful when Magnus picked up on the second ring. "If I momentarily shut down the wards around the Institute can you portal directly here?" he asked, ignoring his father and Hodge as they stared at him as though he'd suddenly grown a second head. "Isabelle was hurt and now has some sort of demon poison in her bloodstream," Alec explained as he raced off toward the library to shut down the wards long enough for Magnus to get in. "Hodge can't do anything for her," Alec finished before hanging up as Magnus appeared in the middle of the library. "Please, you're her only hope," he pleaded before taking Magnus's hand and leading him back to the infirmary.

Just as they got to the infirmary door, Robert pushed past them, pausing momentarily as though to greet Magnus in the oddest of ways. The confusion was written all over his face, but Alec didn't pause to explain anything. The important part was that Magnus might be able to save Isabelle, and that was all his father needed to know at the moment. So Alec simply ushered Magnus through the door, taking note of the fire message in his father's hands, realizing that the Clave was probably angry that he'd been delayed and was likely requesting his immediate presence in Alicante. But that was something that Alec could worry about later. For now, his little sister needed him, and that was the only thing in the world that mattered. When he finally came to stand beside of Magnus, sparks were already shooting from the warlock's fingers, his expression one of rock solid concentration. If anyone could turn this situation around, Alec knew that Magnus was that person. There was a reason he was the High Warlock of Brooklyn. At least that's what he had to tell himself in order to remain upright.  
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Magnus swore and then immediately regretted it as he sensed Alec stiffen in fear. Alec was bordering on hysteria, which didn't help the situation at all. Magnus knew that if he so much as missed a beat, that could mean the worst for Isabelle and her mundane soul mate, whatever his name was. As much as Magnus wanted to take the time to comfort Alec, that was the last thing he had the time to do, and Alec's fear only seemed to be worsening. There were moments when Isabelle would feel extra pain, and that was mostly due to the fact that Magnus was having to separate the demon poison from her blood, which was indeed a very painful procedure. But each and every time this happened, Alec only became worse, his fear reaching new heights that Magnus hadn't thought possible.

As Alec unconsciously reached out a hand toward Isabelle, Magnus glanced at Jace, giving him a warning look and nodding when he reached out to stop Alec. Having them there was one thing, but Alec's energies could easily mess with Isabelle's and make it that much harder for Magnus to separate poison from blood. The problem with this poison was that it began multiplying once it entered the bloodstream, like a virus, which was why Hodge hadn't been able to heal Isabelle by Shadowhunter means. Theoretically, a single molecule of the poison could take down any person in the world given enough time to properly multiply. So that meant Magnus had to work faster than the poison to be of any help at all. Which meant that he couldn't afford to be distracted in any way. Even if it was his sweet Alec. "Jace," he said through his teeth, trying to regain his mental footing. "Why don't you take Alec for a walk? You could both use a break."

Magnus prayed that Jace was smart enough to get the hint and keep Alec out of the way until Isabelle was completely healed. It took a lot of effort for Jace to convince Alec to leave, but as soon as they were safely out of the infirmary, Magnus righted himself once more, ignoring Hodge Starkweather as best he could. He was all too familiar with the fact that Hodge generally shared Valentine's sentiments when it came to Downworlders. But at the moment, none of that mattered. Not when healing Isabelle was the only thing in the world that mattered. But Magnus could already feel himself weakening under the strain of the spell. His only hope was that he would be able to hold out until Isabelle was fine. This wasn't a spell that he could halfway do and allow her to heal the rest of the way on her own. She wouldn't be okay until every single molecule of the poison was out of her bloodstream, and that meant that Magnus couldn't rest until that was done.

He thought about requesting that Ragnor be called, but he simply didn't want to lose the footing he'd just regained, and he didn't want to alarm Ragnor. Under normal circumstances, Magnus could have easily handled the healing. But Magnus knew that the fact that he was growing weaker wasn't normal, and he had yet to tell Ragnor about it. So he simply pushed through the weakness and the dizziness, promising himself that he would tell Ragnor when they wouldn't have an emergency on their hands. The last thing he needed was for Ragnor to melt down and make the situation worse. He found himself wondering what would happen between Alec and Robert, as he had clearly seen suspicion in Robert's eyes, but he knew that if he was correct and Robert was indeed off to Alicante that they would have a few days to figure that out. And a few days would likely be just long enough for Alec to either come to terms with confessing to Robert or to find an excuse to use to continue hiding the truth. Whatever was going to happen, Magnus simply couldn't worry about it in that very moment.

As soon as Magnus had finished healing Isabelle and checked over her one last time, he collapsed into the chair beside of her cot. He had meant to check on her mundane soulmate as well, but he could see from there that the boy was breathing, and at the moment, that simply had to be good enough. He only looked up when Jace walked back in, this time without Alec in tow. "He's in the library," Jace explained as he came to sit on the edge of Isabelle's cot. Magnus smiled at the fact that neither of them felt the need to explain who "he" was. Despite himself, Magnus had grown increasingly closer to Jace the few times they'd seen each other recently, and he knew that was due to the fact that they both deeply cared for Alec. "I promised him that one of us would come update him as soon as possible, but I thought it would be much better to leave him in his happy place right now." Magnus couldn't do anything but nod, his energy still dangerously low. It came as no surprise to him that Alec's happy place was the library, and he couldn't help but smile at that thought.

For the first time since he'd finished healing Isabelle, Magnus noticed that Hodge had slipped out of the infirmary at some point, apparently happy with Magnus's performance. And that was something Magnus was extremely thankful for, as he didn't relish the thought of discussing Alec while Starkweather was around. Before long, Magnus realized that someone did need to make Alec aware of the fact that Isabelle was going to make a full recovery, so he pushed himself out of the chair, not bothering to explain to Jace where he was going. They both knew exactly where he was headed. At least, Magnus thought he knew exactly where he was headed until he got lost on the way back to the library and had to request help from Church the cat who had never liked him no matter what he'd tried. To his surprise, however, Church did drop him off at the library, and Magnus was left with the sinking suspicion that the cat had only done so because of Alec. But he was at the library no matter the reason, and he pushed through to see Alec sitting on the couch, staring at the portal that the Clave apparently had yet to close.

As soon as Alec realized that Magnus was there, he was on his feet, putting himself between Magnus and the portal, his questions written in every line of his face. "She'll be fine," Magnus assured him, his voice softening as he saw the relief flood through Alec's entire body. "She just needs a couple of days of rest. If you'd waited just a few minutes longer, I might not have been able to do anything for her," Magnus said, and then he quickly started backtracking as he saw the fear return to Alec's eyes. "But you saved her, Alec; she's absolutely fine now," he finished, smiling as Alec's shoulders finally relaxed. And that was when Magnus realized that this was the first time he'd ever seen Alec in his hunting gear. Which meant it was the first time he'd ever seen Alec in short sleeves. Which meant it was the first time he'd ever gotten a good look at more than one of Alec's runes or scars.

And that was when Magnus felt his knees begin to give way. He'd spent hours studying the runes and scars on his own body, hours outlining them and dreaming of the day that he would find them on someone else. But the last thing he'd ever expected was to find them on Alec's body. Yet there was no denying it. Magnus didn't need to compare their bodies to know that it was true. He would know that pattern of runes no matter the situation. Alec's runes matched the ones that had been etched into his own skin over the years. It took Magnus's mind several minutes to catch up and firmly connect all the dots and finally admit to him that Alec was his soulmate. But before he could say anything at all, Alec was in his arms, and their lips found each other as they often had, and Magnus couldn't get the moment back. In this new moment, the last thing he wanted to do was separate himself from Alec. Though they'd kissed countless times, something was startlingly different about kissing Alec now that he knew the truth. Somehow, this felt more right than it ever had. Somehow, they seemed to fit together better, smoother. The entire world seemed to make sense now.

He wanted to pull away and scream the news at Alec, but something in his held him back. He had an irrational moment of fear in which his mind told him that Alec would be repulsed at the thought of having a warlock for a soulmate. But he knew that Alec wouldn't be kissing him the way he was now - passionately and without apology - if he was repulsed by Magnus's version of humanity. Yet just as Magnus got ready to finally break away from Alec, an act that he knew would take immense levels of self control, Magnus registered the fact that there was someone else in the room who most certainly hadn't been there moments before. He quickly pulled away from Alec, both of their bodies protesting in the process, but Magnus's eyes were already on Robert Lightwood, fear setting in in a way that he had never before known. When Robert met his eyes, Magnus couldn't even begin to understand the emotions that he saw in the other man, but he didn't truly have time to think it over regardless.

Alec looked up at him in confusion before slowly realizing that his eyes were on something, someone tangible. The next several moments as Alec turned to see what the fuss was about happened in slow motion for Magnus. He didn't need to see Alec's expression to recognize the fear and the pain that set in when he realized just what his father had witnessed. It was all too evident in the way Alec held himself. Where he had been relaxed just moments before, he tensed up even more than he had when he'd been afraid for Isabelle's life. "I just, well," Robert began, clearly trying to make up his mind on what to say. "I came back through because I forgot my paperwork," Robert finished in one quick breath. That was when Magnus finally recognized the look in Robert's eyes as love. Love for his son so deep that nothing was going to move it. But it was clear that Alec couldn't see this in the slightest, as he was beginning to shake ever so slightly, his fear crashing over him in waves that Magnus was helpless to stop.

For a moment, Magnus thought about reaching up to place a hand on Alec's arm, but then he became worried that doing so would only make matters worse, so he simply remained at Alec's side, hoping that Robert would soon put Alec's mind at ease. "Alec, look-" Robert began, but he was quickly cut off by Alec shaking his head. Alec's eyes were trained at his feet, and Magnus knew that it was taking all of his self control to remain where he was instead of running out of the library. "Alexander," Robert began again, his voice much firmer this time, as if to tell Alec that he was going to speak whether Alec wanted to hear what he had to say or not. It was then that Magnus felt his own fear resurface. Sure, it was clear that Robert loved Alec, but sometimes that didn't make a difference when it came to situations like this. Not to mention the fact that Magnus wasn't just any male, he was a warlock. "Say the word, son, and I will stay here. I'll call in an emergency or do whatever I have to do, but I will stay here and talk to you, be here for you, if that's what you need. All you need to do is ask me."

Magnus was slightly surprised by the gentleness in Robert's voice, but again, Alec didn't seem to notice it. His fear and his pain and his anxiety was too great at the moment and it was blinding him from his father's love. His absolute worst fear was developing right before his eyes, and Magnus understood that everyone in the room recognized just how powerless they all were to stop it. "Go," Alec finally said, his voice clothed in fear and pain. "Please go," Alec continued, his voice empty in a way that all but destroyed Magnus's heart. At that, Magnus did reach up to place a hand just above Alec's elbow, but for the first time since they'd met, Alec pulled away from him, and Magnus felt his own heart hit the floor. He tried to remind himself that Alec was extremely emotional at this moment, but that didn't seem to do anything to mend his heart. "You're already in trouble with the Clave. Go." With that, Alec turned and walked out of the library, leaving Magnus and Robert simply staring at one another, wondering how they were going to continue. Magnus flinched as the library doors slammed shut, the echo reminding him of how Alec currently felt.

For several moments, Robert simply stood where he was, his eyes still on Magnus. And yet, Magnus in no way felt uncomfortable about this as he normally would have. Robert was clearly trying to connect the dots and find the pieces of the puzzle that he'd lost somewhere along the way. Magnus suddenly felt the desire to run after Alec, irrationally wishing that Alec knew the truth about them. But Magnus knew that that was the last thing Alec needed at the moment, so he remained where he was, not really knowing how to proceed. That was when Robert finally turned back to the portal, apparently remembering that he'd been doing something important just moments ago. He picked up his paperwork off of his desk, then turned to face Magnus once more, one foot in the portal, one foot out. "Take care of him for me," was all that he said and then he was gone.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! So very quickly, let me explain the possible schedule to you for the next few weeks. I may or may not have a chapter posted next week, but that will remain to be seen. Since I've been posting on Saturdays, I would post next Saturday before I leave to pick up my friend from the airport. She'll be here all that week, and the next Saturday I will be leaving for camp. So my current plan is to skip that week and possibly the next one as well. I wish I could give a concrete answer as to when I will post, but I may not even get the one for next week done either. Please bear with me as I try to get past my busy schedule and keep up with this story!
> 
> All that being said, please let me know what you think of this chapter and the story in general! Thank you for all your support and love! I hope you're enjoying this story!

Alec wasn't really sure why he'd been trying to sleep in the first place. He had known for hours that trying to sleep would be a lost cause. It had only been a few hours since his father had left for Idris, but it had felt like a lifetime to Alec. After leaving the library, Alec had surprised himself by going back to the infirmary, pulling himself together enough to check on Isabelle once more. But when Magnus had shown up there several minutes later, Alec's composure had threatened to come crashing down. After Magnus finished explaining that Isabelle likely wouldn't wake up until the next morning, her body healing itself best while she slept, Alec excused himself, unable to keep himself together any longer. Since then, he'd been in his room, continually going over the past few hours in his mind, trying to figure out what he should have done differently. Which he knew was a dangerous route to take, but that didn't seem to keep him from taking it. He'd always known that he had a very active mind, and he tended to over think absolutely everything in his life, but the problem was that he was utterly powerless to stop any of it.

When he hadn't been trying to figure out what he'd done wrong that night, Alec was thinking about what the next few days would bring him. His father would be in Idris no more than two days, which meant he had very little time to come to terms with what had happened. Especially considering the fact that he had, in no way, been ready for what had happened. So Alec had already spent way too much time trying to prepare himself for every possible situation that he might find himself in all too soon. Before they'd gone on their mission that night, Robert had mentioned that Maryse would be on her way back in the morning with Max in tow, and that left Alec to wonder whether or not his father had told his mother what had happened. Either his father would be accepting and understanding or he wouldn't. But the problem was that Alec's fear of the second option was the only thing clouding his mind at the moment.

All at once, Alec felt his chest tighten, which was something that had been happening on and off for hours. Just as he would relax and feel as though he'd made progress, the fear would bubble to the surface once more and his body would react regardless of his thoughts. And then he would be back to square one, feeling as though his breath was being sucked out of him by a vacuum. The fear and anxiety seemed to crash over him in waves, and Alec knew that building a wall tall enough to stop it would require much more strength and energy than he had at the moment. So he simply endured it as best he could, which was to say not very well. Or at least, he felt that there were many people in the world who could have dealt with it much better. Though at first Alec had almost felt numb from the shock of what had happened, he slowly began to realize that part of the dull ache he was feeling was a longing for Magnus that only the warlock himself could satiate. But he knew that it was far too early in the morning to bother Magnus again, especially after he knew that Magnus was already at home and likely deep in sleep.

So instead, Alec finally pushed himself out of bed, intending to make his way to the greenhouse so that he could walk around in the air that smelled so comfortingly of Idris and be with his thoughts. But halfway there, Alec redirected himself almost against his own will. It took several seconds for Alec to realize that he'd reacted to the sound of music softly escaping from under the library door, and he halfheartedly smiled at the thought. He'd reacted so unconsciously to the sound of Jace playing the piano that he could really only attribute it to their parabatai bond. So he found himself entering the library, not at all surprised by the fact that Jace was at the piano, his eyes closed as his hands floated over the keys, though Alec knew this wasn't due to concentration but rather his love for the music. "Alec?" Jace asked without opening his eyes, but Alec could see from where he was that Jace was already smiling. "Please tell me those are your footsteps because otherwise I'm losing my touch and that would be a tragedy for us all."

Despite himself, Alec chuckled, realizing just how much he'd missed his time with Jace lately. He'd been spending so much time with Magnus as well as working on the case that they'd begun to feel distant. But here they were, snapping back together as Alec knew they always would. "Who else would willingly subject themselves to your music?" Alec asked, but he knew as soon as he had that his heart really hadn't been in the joke as it normally would have. And he mostly knew this because Jace's eyes opened in thinly veiled surprise, though he didn't skip a beat when it come to the music he was playing. Alec wished for several moments that he could take back what he'd just said, redo it and keep Jace from hearing the fear that was currently overwhelming him. But he also knew that in a million variations of this situation, Jace would always be able to pick up on the slightest hint to Alec's emotions no matter what Alec did. He'd been able to do so even before they'd become parabatai. Now, it was even more natural than breathing to both of them.

"What's wrong?" Jace asked, and Alec wanted to deny that absolutely anything was wrong, but he knew that he would never be able to convince Jace of that now. "I've been in here playing for the last hour, and in that time, I've felt more emotions coming through our bond than I've likely felt in all the years we've been parabatai." At that, Alec moved to sit on the couch, facing Jace but unable to meet his eyes, knowing that Jace would easily be able to read everything written in his expression. When Alec didn't respond after several long seconds, Jace spoke up once more, his hands still floating over the keys, which Alec knew was mostly for his benefit. Jace's piano playing had always calmed him and helped him no matter the situation, and they both knew that all too well. "You know you can talk to me about anything you need to, right?"

Alec nodded, but he still couldn't meet Jace's eyes, and that's when he began to understand just how real his fear was. When he'd been alone in his room, he'd almost been able to disconnect himself from what he was feeling, allowing it to cycle through his mind and body without truly being present. But now that he was here with Jace, he was being forced to face it, and that was something he wasn't sure he knew how to do. He tried closing his eyes, tried reminding himself that he was safe. But then his fears reminded him that he might not be safe in a couple of days, and that's when everything came crashing down. That was when the music stopped, and Alec began to feel Jace's own fear and worry mirroring his own. "Alexander?" Jace asked, and before Alec could answer, Jace was by his side, placing a hand on his arm in the gentlest of ways. "What's going on?" Alec hated the worry that ran through Jace's voice, and the only thing he wanted to do was calm it, but he knew that he was helpless to do so at the moment.

It took Alec another few seconds to gather himself enough to begin speaking, but he finally did so, recounting the night's events for Jace as best he could. More often than Alec would have liked, he had to pause and take a couple of deep breaths, finally understanding just how close he was to completely breaking down in a way he hadn't in years. But even explaining to Jace that Robert had walked in on him with Magnus was enough to push him that much further over the edge, and there was nothing Alec could do to stop it. At times, his words ran together, and he could only hope that Jace understood what he was trying to get across. "I told him to leave," Alec said at the end of his somewhat lengthy speech about the night. "I could have asked him to stay, to go ahead and work this out with me. But I asked him to leave because I was scared of what he would say if he stayed. Because I was a coward." Alec stopped fairly abruptly, only slightly surprised when he realized that silent tears were slowly running down his face. He wished he could say he was surprised by them, wished that he had the capacity to be ashamed of them at the moment, but he had known they were coming, and he was simply glad that Jace was the person to witness them.

They sat in silence for a bit, and Alec didn't really mind. He was happy to give Jace a moment along with his thoughts because that's exactly what he needed himself. Though having that moment did nothing to stop the tears or alleviate his fears. "Remember what I told you when you came out to me?" Jace asked, his voice much softer than Alec ever remembered hearing it. Alec couldn't help but smile at that, not to mention the fact that Jace had reached up to quickly wipe away some of his tears, something Alec had never seen him do for anyone, including Max. But before Alec could respond, Jace was answering his own question, his voice distantly heavy with memories. "I told you that it didn't matter what anyone in this world would ever think of you because, as your parabatai, I know the best and the worst of you, and only a fool would be unable to see how greatly the good outweighs the bad." Alec wanted to say something in response, but he could sense that Jace was far from finished, so he remained silent, happily reliving the memory along with his brother.

"You told me back then that you felt like a coward because you couldn't come out to everyone you loved," Jace continued, absentmindedly smiling at the memory. "And I'll tell you know what I told you then. This fear that you're feeling doesn't make you a coward. You're worried you'll lose people you love, and there's nothing cowardly about that." At that, Alec reached over to take Jace's hand, another wave of fear and anxiety crashing over him, and Jace seemed to notice this because he simply gave Alec's hand a gentle squeeze, effectively grounding Alec once more. "I won't pretend to know what Robert's currently thinking, but one thing I do know is that, no matter what he tells you when he gets back, no matter how he reacts, you will still be loved." Jace sighed then, and Alec began to wonder if he was done speaking, but naturally, he wasn't. "Frankly Alec, if this changes his love for you, then he's simply not worth the love that you give him." Alec knew this should be comforting, but it was almost just as terrifying as every other thought he'd had that day.

For another few moments, Alec remained silent, contentment almost flooding his mind when he realized that his thoughts were beginning to quiet. "You know who's worth more than the love I give him?" Alec eventually asked, a new concern buzzing through him. "Magnus," he halfway sighed, the truth hitting him harder than he would have liked to imagine. "He was trying to help me earlier and I shrugged him off without so much as a single thought," Alec admitted, the words all but catching in his throat. Alec checked the clock on the library wall, wishing it wasn't still too early to call Magnus. All he wanted at the moment was to apologize for the fact that his emotions had clouded his thoughts to the point of hurting someone he cared so deeply for. "I have to fix that," Alec said, mostly to himself, but Jace sighed again at that, shifting his weight in a way that told Alec he was about to stand up once more.

"Yeah, you do," Jace admitted, and Alec first thought that Jace was angry with him. "But I do know that Magnus will understand. If only one person in the world understood you in this moment, it would be Magnus." Despite Alec's current anxieties and fears, he knew this to be true, and that was one thing that unexpectedly comfort him. "For now, you need sleep. We both do," Jace continued, standing up and motioning for Alec to follow him out of the library. Their rooms were directly across the hall from one another, so Alec simply followed his parabatai through the Institute, enjoying the silence of the halls now that Isabelle was healed and the chaos of the day was behind them. Before Jace went into his room, he stopped and turned back toward Alec, tapping his door without saying a word, but Alec knew exactly what he meant. If you need me, you know where I am. Alec smiled and nodded, finally going back to his room, comforted by the fact that he was beginning to feel just how tired he truly was.  
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"And you're not planning on telling Alec about this why?" Ragnor was asking yet again, his voice becoming increasingly exasperated each time. Magnus tried to reply, but Raphael gave him a warning look as if to remind him that Ragnor was likely far from being done. Alec had called him earlier to quickly run through an apology that was so obviously rehearsed in the most nervous of ways that Magnus had been forced to smile at it. But then Alec had gone on to explain that they were having to deal with the aftermath of the night before and the mundanes they now had in the Institute, so he wouldn't be able to see Magnus until later that night. So Magnus had decided to talk the situation over with his two best friends, portaling them into his apartment so that Raphael didn't have to think about the sun. "After four hundred years, you've found your soulmate, and you're not going to tell him because?" Ragnor's voice trailed off into a question, and Magnus couldn't help but sigh.

"We've been over this already," he said, running his hands through his hair yet again, altogether tired of trying to justify his actions. Especially when his actions made so little sense to even him. "I'm not telling Alec because he doesn't need to deal with that right now on top of everything else. Dating a Downworlder is bad enough, but the three of us know all too well what the Clave thinks of Shadowhunters who have Downworlders for soulmates." Ragnor flinched at that, and Magnus knew he was thinking of the many stories they'd heard over the years. It seemed as though almost every time the Clave discovered a pair of soulmates that included a Downworlder and a Shadowhunter, the Downworlder's best hope was that they would be tortured. The reasons why had long been lost to history, and Magnus had even begun to doubt the truth of the stories themselves, but he wasn't willing to be the one to test the theory. "He's got enough going on. He doesn't need to deal with this too."

Magnus tried not to smile as Raphael rolled his eyes, making him fit perfectly inside the sixteen year old body he was trapped in. "Have you not learned anything from my mistakes, Bane?" Raphael asked, his voice betraying the fact that he was unfathomably older than sixteen. At that, however, Ragnor smiled for the first time that night, and Magnus tried his hardest to ignore the suddenly look of love on his friend's face. As usual, it was the disgustingly annoying sort of love that Magnus didn't want to be annoyed by because it made his friend so happy. "I have never been so certain that Ragnor was sharpening a wooden stake and planning my imminent demise as I was when he found out I'd known we were soulmates for years." Magnus did not fondly remember the time that Ragnor had spent hating Raphael for this; life seemed to work much better when they were disgustingly in love. But Magnus knew that Raphael had a very valid point, and that was the last thing he wanted to admit at the moment.

"If one of you has a bright idea on how to erase hundreds of years of hate from the heart of the Clave, then please, don't hold back," Magnus said, but the bitterness simply wasn't in his voice like he had expected. He knew he wasn't really angry with Ragnor or Raphael. He was angry with himself and with the situation, and he was simply trying to take it out on his friends in a way that they didn't deserve. "And if either of you has a bright idea on how to keep my father out of this apartment, for the love of all that we hold dear, please don't hold it in," he said, yet another wave of fear and anxiety washing over him as he met Ragnor's eyes. He had yet to tell anyone about the dream Asmodeus had sent him; there was no need to unnecessarily worry Ragnor and Raphael with what Asmodeus had predicted. Yet Magnus's mind kept telling him that Ragnor would be much better prepared if he knew the truth.

And that was when Magnus finally admitted to himself that he was lying to the people he loved the most, and he was having trouble figuring out exactly how that had happened. "Has he threatened you?" Ragnor asked, anxiety suddenly flooding his own voice. "Has he sent you any dreams lately?" At that, Magnus all but prayed for a way out, but what he hadn't expected was a sudden fit of coughing, especially when warlocks tended to remain healthy under even the worst of circumstances. Yet this was most certainly not the kind of cough healthy people had, and Magnus was hopeless to cover it up in any way. "What are you hiding?" Ragnor asked, his voice filled with suspicion that had obviously been brewing for a while. "Spill the beans." At first, Magnus was slightly confused, but he certainly wasn't confused about what he was hiding. He was simply confused as to how exactly a slight cough had given anything away to Ragnor.

Instead of replying, Magnus attempted to figure out what Ragnor was referring to. He could be referring to exactly what Magnus was indeed hiding, but he could also be referring to something that he was suspecting that was entirely incorrect. "Don't think for a second that we haven't noticed," Raphael said, and Magnus's heart sank as he realized that they were likely far closer to the truth than he had hoped. If they'd been discussing this together, then Magnus knew that they meant business, and Magnus knew all too well how dangerous they were together. "Alec isn't the only person you're hiding things from, Magnus, and that's a fact." If there was one thing Magnus hated at the moment, it was the hurt in Raphael's voice and the fact that Magnus knew he was causing it. "There's a reason you've stopped booking clients and you told Catarina you were too tired to help her with a healing."

Magnus took several deep breaths and forced himself to dive into the process of admitting many of the things he'd been hiding. And in that process, though he could visibly see Ragnor growing angrier with every word Magnus said, he could still feel part of the weight he'd been carrying lift off of him. He refrained from telling them about the dream Asmodeus had sent him, knowing that it wouldn't only make matters worse if he told them. But he did tell them about the fact that his magic was growing much weaker with each passing day. And Magnus did admit to them, as well as himself, that things were beginning to change with his physical health as well. Which was almost more concerning than the trouble with his magic because when warlocks got sick, it meant something far more serious than the common cold was occurring.

He was fairly surprised when he finished speaking and both Ragnor and Raphael remained silent. Magnus had been almost absolutely certain that their anger would have overwhelmed them before anything else, but he could easily tell now just how wrong he had been. It was very clear that, while Ragnor was obviously trying to work things out in his mind, he was also trying to fight the anxiety he was feeling over this new turn of events. "I'm calling James," he said, standing up and walking out onto the balcony without waiting for any sort of response. Though Magnus knew that Ragnor wasn't actually on his cell phone because Silent Brothers didn't actually have phones, the thought amused him for the few minutes that Ragnor was contacting James. "He's on his way here," Ragnor said as soon as he walked back inside. And yet somehow, this made Magnus all the more anxious. He wasn't anxious about James, he'd gotten over his fear of the Silent Brothers a long time ago.

But Magnus hated to admit that he was actually afraid of getting the answers he'd been searching for. He knew that James would pick Tessa up on his way in, and if there was a pair who could figure out what was going on with him, it was most certainly going to be James and Tessa. But if he got answers, that would mean he had to admit that something was wrong, not just to himself, but also to Alec, and that was what he had been dreading most. He knew just how much Alec would worry, and that was the last thing he wanted. But more than that, finding an answer also meant he would be obligated to find a solution. And now that he was aware of his own personal soulmate situation, his only fear was that there wouldn't actually be a solution. So Magnus's only hope for the day was that the situation with the mundanes would keep Alec away long enough for him to figure out exactly where to go from here.  
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"I just don't understand what makes these Silent Brothers so special," Clary said for what was likely the millionth time, and Alec had to turn away from them so that Jace wouldn't see him roll his eyes yet again. They'd spent the last half hour trying to explain to Clary exactly why they were taking her to the Silent Brothers, and they'd spent the half hour before that trying to keep Simon from coming with them. Though that obviously hadn't worked as Simon was trailing along beside of Isabelle, very clearly trying to pretend as though he wasn't glancing at her every few seconds. But that didn't bother Alec nearly as much as the fact that Isabelle had also insisted on coming despite the fact that Magnus had strongly recommended that she spend a few days resting. Alec had only eventually agreed to let both of them come based on the fact that only Jace would enter the Silent City with Clary, so he doubted that anything serious could happen in the middle of the day while waiting on their visit with the Silent Brothers.

Alec was slightly surprised when Jace shared the most exasperated of looks with him, and he had to press his lips together to keep the others from seeing his smile. At least Jace now had someone who could actually test his patience for once. "The Silent Brothers are the scholars of our world. If anyone can tell you why there seem to be gaps in your memories when it comes to the Shadow World, it will be the Brothers," Jace said, and Alec could hear the tension in his voice as he tried to remain calm and collected. They'd tried their best to explain as many things as possible to Clary and Simon, knowing that knowledge of the world they'd been introduced to would be helpful to their survival, but nothing seemed to be sticking with Clary at the moment. "And to answer your next question, there aren't many warlocks powerful enough to do the job it would require to look into your mind that way," Jace finished, waving his hand as if to tell Clary that he didn't care for any more questions.

When Clary turned to look at him, Alec had to do much of the same exercise in maintaining his composure. "If you're thinking about Magnus," he said before Clary could ask her next, next question. "We aren't going to bother him with this after everything he did for us last night." Alec didn't mention the fact that he had called Magnus that morning, knowing that Clary would insist he did so again. Not to mention the fact that Clary didn't need to know the personal nature of his conversation with Magnus. Though Magnus had offered his help once again, Alec had insisted that Magnus stay at home and rest. But he didn't want to admit that he was truly avoiding Magnus more than anything else at the moment. There were a lot of questions going around, but the one thing that Alec did know was that he should have given Magnus much more of a chance than he had. Magnus had simply wanted to help him, and he hadn't even looked at the warlock as he'd left the infirmary for the last time that night.

As they stopped at the New York entrance to the Silent City, Alec tried his best to push those thoughts out of his mind, mostly because he knew that those thoughts would only lead back to thoughts of his father, and that was something he didn't have time for at the moment. He was beginning to feel numb about the events of the night before, almost as though his mind was protecting him from the fear and anxiety that they would cause, and Alec couldn't find it in himself to care about that. It was much better than spending every waking second worrying about what the next couple of days would bring. "We'll be back within an hour," Jace said as one of the Brothers came to retrieve them, and Alec knew that Jace was mostly saying this for Simon's benefit. As long as they got some answers, Alec didn't really care how long it took.

So he settled in by going to sit under the nearest tree, halfheartedly hoping that Simon and Isabelle would leave him alone to his thoughts. But before he knew it, Jace and Clary were gone and Isabelle was sitting down beside of him, leaving Simon alone to wander around. And Alec didn't have the time to wonder why Izzy would have asked Simon to give them some time alone before Isabelle was already speaking. "What happened last night?" she asked, and for a moment, Alec thought she was angry about getting hurt in the demon fight, accusing them of letting something slip through the cracks. "Something happened between you and Dad, and I don't know what it is, but you're not yourself today, and I'd like to know what's going on," she clarified, and Alec knew he shouldn't have been surprised at the fact that she'd picked up on so much.

Alec couldn't help but sigh, knowing that he should tell Isabelle but not wanting to relive the night yet again. "Long story short," Alec finally began after deciding that Isabelle deserved to know more than anyone else ever would. She was the one who'd been there for him the longest, and he simply couldn't hide something like this from her. "Dad knows about the nature of my relationship with Magnus now, and I have no idea what he thinks of me or that relationship because he got called off to Idris and I told him to leave without talking about any of it." Alec took a deep breath before he realized that he'd explained the entire thing in one very long breath, and he only hoped that he hadn't conveyed too much of his nerves to Isabelle. He didn't want her to worry about the situation, especially when she needed to focus on herself and her healing.

It took Isabelle several seconds to respond, but when she did, Alec's breath caught in his throat in a way that he wouldn't have thought possible at the moment. "Then I guess we're in the same boat, aren't we?" she asked, her voice much more distant than Alec had heard it in a very long time. "I mean, Dad knows that Simon's my soulmate, but I have no idea what he thinks of me having a mundane for a soulmate because he had to leave. And Mom and Max will be home when we get back, and we both know that will only complicate things even more." At that, Alec reached over to take his little sister's hand, suddenly understanding that they were very much in the same situation, silently hating himself for not realizing that sooner. After they'd remained in silence so long that Alec thought their conversation was over, Isabelle finally spoke up, her voice all but jerking him out of his thoughts. "Waiting sucks," she said, her voice terribly final, terribly tired.

Alec gave her hand a squeeze, and he was going to answer, but that was when Simon walked back over to them, and Alec could simply tell that he had something to say. "Okay, so I have a serious question here," he said, and that's when Isabelle returned the squeeze Alec had given her because they both knew it would likely be anything but serious. "How can these Silent Brothers 'look' into Clary's mind? Do they have some kind of mystical mind powers like Edward Cullen or something?" Alec couldn't help but snort at that, trying his hardest to keep from laughing at both Simon's question and Isabelle's confusion. All he could do for a few moments was shake his head, trying to regain his composure, but the more he thought about the question, the worse things got for him.

"Not at all," he finally breathed out, forcibly ignoring Isabelle's expression and trying to focus on his words so that he could get through them all. "Edward was given the ability when he was turned, but the Silent Brothers spend centuries studying and acquiring the knowledge it requires to wield the magic that allows them to do things like look into Clary's memories and search the web of her mind," he explained through his smile. He started laughing in earnest when he realized that Simon had now adopted Isabelle's expression of confusion when Alec had revealed his knowledge about mundane literature. "What?" he asked, shrugging in what he thought was the most casual of ways. "It would be impossible to date someone like Magnus Bane and not learn at least a little bit about mundane fascinations, especially of the attractive sort."

Despite his better judgement, Alec spent far too much time attempting to help Simon explain the premise of Twilight to one very confused Isabelle. The most surprising part of this was the fact that he was smiling despite knowing that this was the absolute last thing he wanted to do, and he began to wonder if it had to do with the fact that he could most definitely see the change that Simon was making in Isabelle. Whether she knew it or not, it was almost as though she was becoming more of herself now that Simon was around, and Alec thanked his lucky stars for that. He felt a slight twinge of jealousy at that thought, wondering just when he would find his own soulmate, silently hoping that it was Magnus but knowing that was likely a lost cause, but before he could really work through those feelings, Jace and Clary appeared before them once more. "Why the hell is your boyfriend's name in my mind?" Clary demanded before he really had time to register that they were back.

At first, Alec was certain that Clary wasn't talking to him, but then he glanced at Jace, and he only became even more confused. "I thought we agreed that you would let me tell him," Jace was saying to Clary, and that only confirmed the one thing that was confusing Alec the most. The problem was that Alec had no answer for Clary whatsoever. "There's a block in Clary's mind that the Brothers can't remove," Jace explained, and Alec knew that he was simply trying to keep Clary calm. "But they found that Magnus signed his name to it, so it was very clearly put there by him." At that, Alec began to reach for his phone, a flash of anger shooting through him as he thought of the things that Magnus might be hiding. But then he realized that was probably the worst way to figure things out, so he left his phone in his pocket and told everyone to follow him to Magnus's apartment. If there was one thing Alec knew at the moment, it was that he was terribly tired of all the lies and the hiding, and he was going to get to the bottom of this before the day was over.  
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Alec felt slightly uncomfortable when he knocked on Magnus's door, but he figured that was the best way to go since he had four other people with him. A couple of weeks ago, Magnus had given him his own key, but he didn't want to simply barge in with the others in tow. As soon as Magnus opened the door, Alec felt another wave of anger wash over him, and it didn't take Magnus very long to assess the situation and come to a very accurate conclusion. "Well, shit," he said as soon as he saw Clary and registered the anger in Alec's eyes. "Come in," he said before turning in the most resigned of ways to lead them into the apartment. Despite himself, Alec went to the couch and sat down with Chairman Meow, unable to stay mad enough at Magnus to stay away from his cat. "I guess the cat's out of the bag, so let's just get this over with," Magnus said as he came to sit beside of Alec, though Alec noticed that he kept more distance between the two of them than he normally would have.

"Why did you put a block in my mind?" Clary demanded, and Magnus immediately launched himself into his story, knowing that there was no way he was getting out of the situation at hand. Apparently, Clary's mother, Jocelyn, had been a Shadowhunter who had, more importantly, been married to Valentine Morgenstern during the time of the Circle. When Valentine had gone even more insane than he had originally been, Jocelyn had run away with Clary, but she had sworn that Clary would live a normal life, protecting her from the Shadow World via blocks in her mind that kept her from remembering anything she saw that was not strictly mundane. "What I don't get," Clary said when Magnus was done with his story. "Is why my mom would ever stoop to hiring a warlock to help her." Alec barely registered the bitterness in Clary's voice, all he was able to focus on was the fact that Magnus had flinched ever so slightly at Clary's words.

Standing up without thinking, Alec cleared his throat, trying to calm himself down a bit before speaking, knowing that speaking out of anger was the worst way to go. "Your mother clearly requested Magnus's help because she recognized his skill and her own inability to keep you safe the way she wanted to," he said, trying to control his voice as much as possible, but knowing he was failing when Magnus stood up beside of him, placing a hand on his arm. Yet Alec couldn't stop himself from pulling away from Magnus, still feeling the effects of all the anger he'd earlier felt. "News flash, Clary, but being a Shadowhunter does not in any way make you the most superior being on earth. Your mother clearly recognized the worth in other people, and I'd suggest that you take the time to do so as well." With that, Alec found himself walking out to Magnus's balcony, unable to take more of the conversation, knowing that Clary was far from done.

To his surprise, Alec found the silence of the balcony oddly peaceful, though he would have thought that being alone with his thoughts would have been the last thing he needed at the moment. "You're angry," Magnus said as soon as he'd stepped out onto the balcony as well, and Alec simply inclined his head, unable to turn to look at Magnus for several long moments. "Surely you understand that I can't disclose my clients' information with you just on a whim, Alexander." Alec did his best to pretend that he felt nothing when Magnus said his name in the way he just had, but they both knew that this simply wasn't true. "I was growing worried that Jocelyn hadn't kept up her latest appointment, but honestly, Alexander, I didn't think that it would ever concern you or put you in danger or I would have told you much sooner." Alec knew that this made sense, but that didn't do anything to lessen his anger.

"But you knew of Jocelyn's history with Valentine," Alec replied, hating the bitterness in his voice more than he would have thought possible. "Did you ever stop to think that her absence might have something to do with the Downworlder situation?" he asked, abruptly stopping when he realized that this was just now sinking into Magnus's mind. "Jocelyn and Clary could be our lead, Magnus, and you know that as well as I do." Alec knew that he wasn't being entirely fair, that the jump from Jocelyn to the current situation was a stretch at the very best. Valentine had been declared dead so long ago, that Magnus likely hadn't considered anything related to him as a possible lead. But even so, Alec couldn't keep the anger out of his mind, but he knew that he wasn't being completely honest with Magnus or with himself. "If you're hiding things as big as this, then what else might you be hiding from me, Magnus?" he asked, and he saw something flash through Magnus's eyes, though he couldn't even begin to place it.

For several very long moments, Magnus simply stared back at him, a multitude of emotions running across his face, and Alec almost thought that he wasn't actually going to respond. When Magnus finally did speak again, his voice was heavy with so many different things that Alec couldn't isolate any one of them. "All I can ask is that you trust me, Alexander," he said, almost as though he was trying to convince himself that he was worthy of being trusted. "Can you do that for me right now? Everything is just so complicated at the moment, and I promise to help you figure things out. But I need you to trust me; I promise you I'll tell you exactly what you need to know." Magnus's eyes darted toward the floor, and Alec began to wonder exactly why that was and why Magnus, someone who had never been the nervous type, was suddenly nervous.

Alec couldn't respond right away because he couldn't seem to reconcile Magnus's words with his tone and how he was holding himself. Magnus was saying that he could be trusted, and Alec didn't have any solid proof that told him he had reason to suspect anything from the warlock that would contradict this. He knew that Magnus was in the right when he said that he didn't tell him about Jocelyn because there hadn't seemed to be any reason to do so. But now Magnus was holding himself as though there was actually something to worry about, as though there was truthfully something that did warrant the suspicion Alec was feeling. "Are you not able to do that?" Magnus finally asked, his icy tone cutting through Alec's heart. "Is it really that hard for you to take my word for all of this?" Alec began to shake his head, but then he realized that he wasn't quite sure anymore.

"You don't get it, do you?" he asked, though he wasn't entirely sure that he actually got it himself. His emotions seemed to be taking control at the moment, and he was beginning to say things that he hadn't fully thought over. "I trust you with everything that I have, Magnus. But if you're hiding things like this, then it's going to make protecting you a million times harder." At that, Magnus's expression switched from hurt to confusion, and Alec was glad of that. But it was also then that Alec finally realized exactly where his anger was coming from. He was afraid that if he missed something, even the smallest thing related to the Downworlder situation, that he would lose Magnus and it would be his fault for not seeing the truth sooner. "I don't expect you to tell me every detail about your life. But there are certain things I need to know when it comes to keeping you safe in the current Downworld situation, and the fact that you've been helping Valentine's runaway wife is probably one of them."

For a moment, Magnus seemed to be speechless, something that Alec was fairly certain he'd never seen from the other man before, but it pulled at his heart nonetheless. "Why does that matter so much to you?" he finally asked, his voice somehow heavier than it had been even moments before. All Alec wanted to do at the moment was fall into Magnus's arms, but he kept himself from it, knowing that they needed to finish this conversation. "It's not your job to protect me, Alexander." A slow, soft smile began to creep onto Magnus's face, and somehow it made Alec relax ever so slightly. "I'm a centuries old warlock of the most powerful sort; I'm not exactly used to being protected." At that, Alec found himself smiling as well, wishing that he had the proper words to describe exactly what he was currently feeling.

"Well, High Warlock Bane," he said, hearing the smile in his voice as he took several steps toward Magnus, stopping just out of the warlock's reach. "You had better start getting used to it." Magnus raised an eyebrow at that, the amusement lingering in his eyes along with the question he was silently asking. "Because frankly, I live to protect the people I love, and that's not going to change any time soon." Suddenly, Magnus's expression softened, and Alec it took Alec a few seconds to work through exactly what was going on between the two of them. He took another couple of steps toward Magnus then, knowing that he was softening as well in every way possible as he realized exactly what the problem was, though it wasn't a problem of the classical sort. Magnus had surely already realized that this was the first time either of them had ever verbally expressed their love in such a concise way, and Alec began to realize this just a few seconds later.

"I love you, Magnus," Alec finally continued, feeling as though Magnus deserved a much more direct expression of love, one that singled him out instead of grouping him with the rest of the people he loved. "I love you, and I don't care what anyone else says about that. Not my dad, not my siblings, not even the Clave -" it was then that Alec was forced to stop talking, mostly due to the fact that Magnus's lips were suddenly against his and there was nothing left to do but kiss him back. There was something startlingly different about this kiss when compared to all the kisses that Alec remembered, but he didn't mind it in any way. It was almost as though Magnus was trying to reply to him, to tell Alec that he loved him too, but without actually saying anything in response. As Magnus's arms wrapped around him, Alec felt himself all but melt into the other man, his body reacting before he had time to truly think about anything at all.

They fit perfectly together, Alec knew that very well, but it never ceased to amaze him. It was as though they were made for one another, and once again, Alec found himself longing for Magnus to be his soulmate. He didn't think anything could ever feel so perfect or so right again, and the last thing he wanted was for his soulmate to eventually swoop in and ruin the one thing that made him as happy as Magnus made him. But he pushed that thought aside yet again and focused on Magnus. There was no sense in worrying about the future when he had such an amazingly beautiful present. But when they eventually pulled apart, it was almost as though their bodies themselves were complaining of that, and Magnus leaned forward to press their foreheads together, his eyes searching Alec's face, though Alec couldn't tell what Magnus was looking for.

"Aku cinta kamu, Alexander," Magnus eventually said, his voice heavy with what Alec could only describe as desire. Alec had know idea what language the words were, much less what they meant, but that didn't really matter to him. He didn't need to know what the words meant to understand what Magnus was telling him. And then he was kissing Magnus again because Magnus loved him back and that as the only thing that mattered in the entire world. In that moment, that was the only thing he needed to know, the only thing that was of any importance to him. No matter what was going to happen over the next few days, none of that would ever cancel out the fact that Magnus, his spectacular, charming, hopelessly attractive, kindhearted warlock loved him back. No amount of darkness would ever drown out that sort of light.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! So I decided to post this chapter a night early just because! You all are amazing, so I wanted to give you a little present before I disappear for a while! So this week I will be busy with some personal matters, and the next week, I will be at camp. So that means that I will likely not be posting until at least three weeks from now. I'm sorry that I have to take this break, but I would like to give y'all the best story possible, and that means that I can't rush through the writing just to post every week. So I'll see y'all in at least three weeks!
> 
> All of that being said, this chapter has a lot of information, so if you have any questions, please comment and I'll answer as many as I can without spoiling anything! Some questions will be answered in the next chapter, some won't be answered for a while. BUT if anything is confusing because so much information is in this chapter, just let me know, and I'll clarify it for you as best I can!

Magnus was an absolute mess in every single way, shape, and form of the word. His mind was a mess, as he had truthfully expected, but his body was also a mess, though he hated to admit that this was also something he had come to expect. To his surprise, Alec had spent the night with him, and Magnus would have been the first to admit that it was one of the best nights he'd had in a very, very long time. Nothing overly sexual had occurred, but Magnus had surprised himself by not caring in the slightest. He knew that his old self most certainly would have cared, but things were so startlingly different with Alec that he didn't really know how to handle it at the moment. It was as though the fact that he'd found his soulmate had turned his world completely inside out, but it was as though this inside out version of his life was the true version he'd been searching for all these years. But then there was also the thought that he knew for certain that hiding the soulmate situation from Alec was the worst possible move.

All that night, he had tried time and time again to persuade himself to come clean to Alec about everything, to let his glamor down and show Alec their shared runes. But something kept him from doing so, and he had no idea of what that was. And the longer he had gone without telling Alec, the worse he felt about it because he knew that Alec's future anger would only increase with each second he waited. So he'd kept his mouth shut about everything and simply enjoyed the moments they were sharing. He'd woken up to an empty bed, seeing Alec's note about how his father had called him back to the Institute already. Before Magnus truly had the time to digest that piece of information, he'd been forced to rush to the bathroom, puking his guts out for the first time in so many years that he couldn't actually remember how many it had been. Now he was back in bed, entirely certain that he had the flu, or at least, he had the flu according to the Mayo Clinic's website.

Magnus's entire body ached, he had a terrible cough, he felt as though he would never properly breathe through his nose again, and he couldn't truly decide whether he was cold or hot. And he was pretty certain that he was dying. Though he kept reminding himself that the flu was rarely fatal in otherwise healthy people, but his mind couldn't seem to get past the fact that he had never before felt this way. In his four hundred years of life, he had never so much as had a runny nose; he'd only ever puked from drinking too much. And now he was in bed, feeling as though he was going to die at any moment. He refrained from texting this particular thought to Ragnor, knowing that those words could be construed in the worst of ways, especially when Ragnor was already so worried about him. So he promised himself that he would call Ragnor or Catarina in a few hours to get their help with healing himself. Magnus was hoping that he would be better by then, but he also had the sinking feeling that he was hoping for something that was virtually impossible.

But after Magnus finally got used to the fact that his body was slowly giving out, he found his mind wondering back to Alec, as it usually did. Though this morning was far from the usual, especially in the realm of the thoughts he was having. The one thing Magnus wanted to do at the moment was march himself to the Institute and stand by Alec's side as he spoke with his father, but he knew that was impossible regardless of the fact that he was hopelessly sick. He knew that this was something that Alec needed to do on his own, no matter how much both of them likely wished otherwise. But Magnus also knew that he likely had nothing to worry about, at least, not when it came to Robert's love of his son. Robert would not have asked Magnus to take care of Alec if he'd been so upset by Alec's sexuality that he'd begun to hate his son. So Magnus took several deep breaths and pushed himself out of bed, hoping that he could make some soup and that he would feel a bit better after that.

After he ate, he felt minimally better, but that was canceled out by the fact that he remembered James and Tessa had planned to come back to see him again today, which meant he only had about an hour to make himself presentable before they arrived. They'd spent the day before doing so many tests that Magnus hadn't really been able to follow exactly what they were even testing for. He supposed that they knew what they were doing, but he certainly did not. Neither of them had looked particularly happy when they had left just a couple of hours before Alec and the others had shown up, and that was what concerned Magnus the most. If they felt the need to come back so soon, then there was obviously something horribly wrong. As though that hadn't been obvious enough before from the state that his magic was in.

"You look horrid," Tessa said as soon as she walked through the door, and Magnus couldn't help but give her one of those looks that said he knew that all too well. "Sorry," she backtracked, though Magnus could tell that she was in no way truly sorry. "But just how sick are you?" she asked as Magnus was thrown into yet another fit of coughing. Yet the coughing wasn't enough of a distraction to keep him from noticing the glance that James and Tessa shared with one another. Even as a Silent Brother with no capability of making true facial expressions, Magnus could recognize the signals that James was giving Tessa, and he didn't like the look of them at all. It was as though they were preparing themselves for the conversation to come and the news that they were bearing. Upon this realization, he went to sit down, all but praying that he was misinterpreting their signals.

Before Magnus could ask any one of the million questions that were buzzing through his mind, he heard James's voice in the depths of his own mind, something he still wasn't quite used to, not after getting so used to James's true voice so many years ago.  _Tessa and I did some research when we left here yesterday,_  he began, and Magnus could have sworn that he literally felt the tension in James's nonexistent voice.  _The good news is that there's a reason your magic seems to be weakening. We were going to ask you whether or not you've been feeling physically ill as well, but -_ James's voice trailed off, and Magnus knew that the bad news was coming. If the physical side effects had been something they'd noticed in research, then it was very clear that there was no escaping whatever they had found. He only wished that the two of them would stop sharing those looks that could have easily moved mountains.

"The bad news," Tessa slowly said, as though she was trying her hardest to figure out exactly how to phrase things. "Is that you're dying," she finished, and then she turned to James who was obviously scolding her so that Magnus couldn't hear him. "What did you want me to say, Jem?" she asked, her strong-willed, tactless voice so fully reminiscent of the girl Magnus remembered meeting all those years ago. "There's no use in beating around the bush," she said, and despite himself, Magnus smiled as he felt James sigh as best he could without the capability of making sound. But that was when Tessa's words actually began to sink in, and Magnus felt the world tilt to one side, and he had to close his eyes to keep from tilting along with it. The thing he hated the most was that he realized this news was only confirming what he'd already felt.

James and Tessa gave him a few moments in silence before James spoke up again, and Magnus knew he was likely trying to do some damage control.  _You are certainly not the first Downworlder this has ever happened to,_ James began, but that didn't make Magnus feel any better about the situation.  _And there is a very simple solution._ James paused then, as though he was trying to calculate just how simple the solution actually was.  _Well, theoretically it is very simple,_ he finally decided on, which only made Magnus all the more anxious.  _It seems as though a pair of soulmates that consists of a Downworlder and a Shadowhunter does not exactly function the same way another pair might._ At that, Magnus stopped trying to follow along with James until he had all the pieces of the story. He could sense that this was going to be entirely too complicated to pick up on until he knew much more of the information than he did at the moment.

 _From what we've found, there's a sort of very old, archaic magic associated with the kind of bond you have with Alec,_ James continued, and Magnus found himself wondering exactly where this was going.  _Tessa and I think it has something to do with the interaction between angel blood and demon blood, but what we've found is that the angelic properties of the Shadowhunter's soul, if you will, tend to overwhelm the Downworlder if not properly taken care of._ Magnus knew that he was giving James the most confused of looks, and there were several reasons for that, but he remained silent regardless, forcing himself to wait a bit longer before bombarding them with his endless questions.  _There is a very simple ceremony that can be performed, much like a parabatai ceremony, that will essentially place protection over the Downworlder, altering things so that the bond doesn't overwhelm them._

Magnus looked to Tessa then, unable to put the pieces together himself. So many things simply weren't adding up in his mind that he had no idea of what he should even be thinking at the moment. "If the ceremony isn't performed," Tessa began, her voice much more careful this time around. "The Downworlder eventually dies from the stress put on their body." At first, Magnus couldn't figure out why this was such a problem. James was right in saying that this situation had a very simple solution; all they had to do was perform the ceremony. "The problem is that no one knows of this ceremony anymore because it's been at least seven hundred years since the Clave banned it, making it an offense punishable by death for all parties involved." It was then that Magnus's world began to spin once again, and this time, he knew he was going to have trouble righting it. He'd grown up hearing the stories of tragedy occurring when a Downworlder dared to love a Shadowhunter, but he'd never expected to be caught in the middle of what could quite possibly be a story people would tell to scare their children generations from now.

Instead of saying anything at all, Magnus simply willed his question toward James, not trusting himself to speak at this moment.  _Though William was Tessa's soulmate, the bit of Shadowhunter blood she has seems to have protected her from the adverse effects of the bond,_  James explained in the most calm of manners.  _The one answer we cannot give you is why Alec's runes also appear on you. Though they should be considered injuries, we have found no evidence of this ever occurring before._ Magnus sighed at that; of course there was another factor that was coming into play here. Nothing could ever be straightforward or easy to solve.  _And we cannot tell you what the ceremony itself entails. From what we can tell, the details of this have been lost in the Clave's records. I doubt anyone alive actually remembers it because it seems to have been lost to history. But I am certain that the Clave's library contains the answers._ Magnus wasn't too surprised by this. Of course they were going to have to break into the best guarded library in the world and steal information that could get them killed. That was par for the course at the moment.  _When does Alec turn eighteen?_ James asked at last, his voice much more urgent than it had been.

For a moment, Magnus tried to steady himself. James's question wasn't adding up with everything else they were telling him, and Magnus could feel yet another blow quickly making its way toward him. He despised the look that Tessa and James gave him when he finally replied to explain that Alec's birthday was in about three months. "Magnus," Tessa began, and all Magnus could do was brace himself for what he knew was coming. "You need to tell him about all of this as soon as possible." Magnus began shaking his head. He would not do this to Alec with everything else going on. He could not do this to Alec. He could barely do this to himself. "Everything we read gave us ample evidence to conclude that, if the ceremony is not performed, the Downworlder will die on the Shadowhunter's eighteenth birthday. That seems to be the time at which the angelic powers increase to the point of completely overwhelming the Downworlder." If Magnus had thought before that his world was spinning, now his world was certainly inverted in every form of the word, and he had no hope of ever fixing it.

Magnus knew that Tessa was still talking to him, trying to calm him down and come up with a plan to work through things. But none of that mattered anymore because the fear of what was to come was so overwhelming that Magnus could almost physically feel himself falling apart. Suddenly, the fact that he had the flu no longer mattered. He couldn't even register that little fact any more. Suddenly, the rise in unexplainable Downworlder deaths made sense. Suddenly, Magnus had very little time to come clean to Alec. Very little time to find a secret the Clave had been keeping for hundreds of years. Very little time to rid the Clave of the deepest sort of hate Magnus had ever witnessed. And if he couldn't do all of this within three months, he would be dead and nothing would matter any longer. He'd never truly realized just how short three months really was until he was staring at his death at the end of them. "Get out," he heard himself saying, though he felt he truly had no control over his words at the moment. "Just leave me alone," he said, ignoring the fact that James and Tessa were trying to help him. There was no helping him at the moment. Not when he had three months to ensure his life remained an immortally long one.

.

.

.

Alec's mind was the biggest mess it had ever been, and he knew that was saying a lot. He was on his way back to the Institute after spending the night with Magnus, and he was entirely certain that he had never had so many different thoughts buzzing through his mind at once. Sure, he was still having the extremely anxious thoughts about his father that he'd been having for days, but there was so much more than that after the night he'd shared with Magnus. As soon as Alec had woken up, he'd been seized by the fear that he'd said, "I love you," far too early in their relationship. They hadn't been together for very long, and though he was fairly certain that that was what Magnus had said back to him, Alec still couldn't shake the feeling that he'd potentially messed everything up. He'd tried his hardest to Google the words that Magnus had said to him, but he didn't know what language they were, and he couldn't spell them, so it hadn't taken him long to realize that a successful search would be a miracle.

So Alec had tried to calm his fears as he'd gotten himself ready for the day, knowing that what was ahead was almost as bad as what he seemed to be leaving behind. Yet even though Alec knew that he hadn't been with Magnus for very long, it was almost as though the very soul of him was telling him that time simply didn't matter. At least not when it came to him and Magnus. He hadn't been planning on confessing his love to Magnus, but Alec felt as though his body and mind had done it for him. The more time he spent with Magnus, the more Alec became convinced that they fit perfectly together. They were the definition of being hand crafted for one another, and Alec figured that had to count for something. So he pushed his anxieties back once more and told them he would deal with them later, when he had more time to spare on worrying about Magnus. When facing his father wasn't the immediate thought on his mind.

Walking back into the Institute was likely the hardest thing Alec had ever found himself doing, but he did it regardless, knowing that he was going to have to face himself and his fears sooner or later. "Alec!" Max exclaimed as soon as Alec entered the library, launching himself into his big brother's arms. Alec felt the pressure in his chest loosen ever so slightly as he picked Max up, unable to be entirely unhappy when Max was there. "Where were you last night? I have so much to tell you about Idris, and I brought you a gift!" Alec simply smiled the best smile he could muster at the moment, unsure of how to reply to Max. He certainly wasn't going to launch into an explanation of the fact that he'd been at his Downworlder boyfriend's the night before. For a moment, he locked eyes with his father, and he was surprised to see that Robert seemed to understand the conflict that was racing through his mind at the moment, and he wondered exactly what was going on in his father's mind.

Just as Max started to run off and get whatever he had for Alec, Robert spoke up, his voice gentle but demanding in the way Alec remembered so fondly from childhood. "Max, your brother and I need a while to talk," he explained, his tone not leaving any room for argument. "Why don't you go get Isabelle to help you wrap Alec's present, that way you can enjoy watching him open it?" Alec could help but smile at the look on Max's face, as he was very clearly betraying the fact that he was conflicted by what his dad was saying. He was obviously disappointed by Robert's request that he give them some time alone, but he was also clearly excited by the thought of watching Alec open a present that he had bought and wrapped himself. "We'll come get you later once we've finished talking," Robert promised, and Max gave him the weakest of smiles. Alec reached to ruffle Max's hair as Max began to confusedly make his way out of the library, wishing he could somehow make things easier on Max.

Alec took a deep breath as soon as Max was out of the library, and despite the fact that his entire body was protesting his actions, he moved to sit across from his father, facing the one person he no longer wanted to face and wondering how he'd come to that point in his life. He could so easily remember a time when his father was the one person he would want to run to in a time of need, and he felt a dull ache of need at that thought. Before he could stop himself, before Robert could even begin to speak, Alec found the words all but gushing out of him, the weeks of anger bubbling up within him once more. "Why didn't you tell me that you were in the Circle?" he asked, his heart tugging at him when he saw the pained expression that appeared on his father's face. "Why would you hide something like that from me?" Alec could hear the pleading and desperation in his voice, but he no longer cared. Now was the time to be real and honest with his father, and that's what he was going to do.

Robert sighed and ran his hands through his hair, clearly trying to figure out the best way to begin explaining things. "Honestly, Alexander? I never told you because I was trying to protect you and your siblings," he admitted, and Alec could almost see the weight that was lifting off of his father's shoulders. It was then that he realized he couldn't even begin to imagine what it was like to hide something so important from the people you loved for so long. "Your mother and I were among the last to leave the Circle. But we left not long after you were born, and the Clave promised us safety in the form of exile. Just before the Uprising, Valentine began hunting down those who had left, killing both them and their families more often than not, and that was part of the reason your mother and I stayed so long, though we never voiced that particular thought to Valentine." Robert visibly shuddered at the thought, and Alec's heart went out to his parents then. He knew he would likely never understand that kind of fear. "I've suspected for a while that this situation in Downworld had something to do with the Circle, and I was hoping that it would resolve itself without needing to involve any of you. But clearly I was wrong."

When their eyes met this time, Alec could see nothing but the pain and fear that his father was feeling, and the only thing he wanted to do was alleviate it. He could hear the apology in Robert's voice, but the thing that worried him the most was the fact that he couldn't find any forgiveness in himself at the moment. "I'll explain everything to you if that's what you'd like, son," Robert continued, the tension only worsening as he neared the portion of the conversation they both knew was going to be the worst. "But it seems as though you've been hiding a lot from me as well, and all I really want right now is for you to understand that you can be honest with me about absolutely anything in your life." Alec released the breath he hadn't known he'd been holding. He knew that this conversation still wasn't going to be easy, but his father was trying to take some of the pressure away, and that was what mattered. "Seeing you so scared of me and what I would think was the greatest pain I have ever felt, Alexander. I just wish that you would talk to me about these things."

For several long moments, Alec tried to figure out exactly how to tell his dad all the things that he'd been hiding. But he couldn't find any way to cushion any of it at all, so he simply decided to dive in as best he could despite the lingering fear he was feeling. "I guess you've already figured out that I'm gay," Alec finally said, and he suddenly felt the pressure in his chest relieve itself. No matter what happened now, he'd gotten past the part that he'd been fretting over and fearing for years. "Magnus and I have been together for almost a month," he explained, feeling far more relaxed about this conversation than he had ever imagined. He refrained from telling his father of just how much he had come to love Magnus in such a short amount of time. He figured there would be plenty of time for Robert to figure that little fact out for himself. "And since this is your next question: I didn't tell you because I was afraid you would think differently of me. I never came out to you because I was afraid I'd lose you over it. And I never told you about Magnus because, as if dating a man wasn't bad enough already, I had to go and find myself a Downworlder, and after I found out you'd been in the Circle, I was scared of what might happen to him if I ever told the wrong person."

As soon as Alec finished speaking, he wished he could take back that last part, realizing just how ridiculous that thought had been, at least when it came to his father. He was slightly surprised when Robert chuckled softly, almost ironically. "Alexander, I love you unconditionally," he said, and for the first time in years, Alec believed that with all of his heart. "But humor me for a moment and say that my love for you was conditional. I would still be the last person on earth who could rightfully judge you for loving a man. Or for loving a man our society tells you you should not love." At this, Alec became somewhat confused, as he didn't truly understand where his father was headed now. "Would you mind if I started back at the beginning?" Robert asked, a soft smile spreading across his face, and Alec could tell that whatever had been broken between the two of them was finally fixed, snapping back into place in the most relieving of ways. So he shook his head and simply waited for his father to continue, happy to finally be hearing part of his father's past.

"Though you'd never guess it now, I had a soulmate," Robert admitted, and it took Alec several moments to zero in on the fact that his father had used the past tense. "But unfortunately, Michael and I didn't figure that out until after we became parabatai." Robert's words didn't immediately sink in, but once they did, Alec knew the look on his face was likely one of horror and pain; he couldn't imagine what that must have been like for the two of them. The Law clearly forbid parabatai from falling in love. And Alec was beginning to question just how fair that Law truly was when Robert's words pulled him back out of those thoughts. "So we hid the fact that we were dating for well over a year, but I think that we really only joined the Circle because we thought that we might be able to change the Law." Alec was glad that Robert didn't expect him to respond yet because he was utterly speechless. "You have to understand, son, when Valentine began, all he wanted to do was reform the Clave."

That was when Alec's mind snapped out of the pain he was feeling for his father and his anger resurfaced. It happened so fast that the words were out of his mouth before he could even so much as register them, much less stop them. "When Hitler began, all he wanted to do was reform Germany's economy," he replied, impossible amounts of bitterness in his voice. "No madman puts his mad foot forward first, Father. Even they understand they have to gain control before they turn radical." He was altogether surprised when his father laughed at that. It was a bitter laugh, but it was a laugh, and that was the part that Alec's mind chose to focus on. The only thing he wanted at the moment was to rid himself of the anger he was feeling toward his father, but he knew that doing so would likely be a process, but it was a process he was willing to begin in that very moment. So he promised himself that he would give Robert the chance to explain himself as best as possible.

"You have a very good point there, Alec," Robert replied, and Alec was comforted in hearing that there was no anger in his father's voice. "And that's very easy to see when looking back on things now. But in the moment, Michael and I saw the chance to change the Law and freely love one another." That was when Alec's mind began skipping around, trying to connect the dots but failing miserably. "I broke up with Michael not long after we joined, though. And we never were quite the same together after that." Alec could hear the sorrow in his father's voice, and he wished more than anything that he could take it away. "Just after we joined the Circle, I decided to come out to my parents. I thought that I might start them off slow and eventually explain what had happened between Michael and I. I thought that they might be able to help us fix the Law." Alec could sense where this was going, and he felt his chest tighten once again at that particular thought.

"I came out to them, and when I explained my bisexuality as best I could, my father hit me and my mother told me to never utter those words again," Robert said, his voice impossibly heavy with the weight of the memory and the suffering he'd experienced. "They essentially told me that I would either eventually marry a woman or I would no longer be welcome to the Lightwood name. So I broke up with Michael the next day without ever so much as telling him what I'd done. I blamed it all on the fact that we were parabatai, and he seemed to understand, but I'll never forgive myself for breaking his heart the way I did that day." At that, Alec moved to take a seat beside of his father, placing a hand on Robert's arm, wishing more than even before that he could take his father's pain, even if he had to make it his own to do so. "Don't get me wrong, I love your mother and I wouldn't trade you and your siblings for anything in this world," Robert continued, his voice softening under the weight of everything that he was feeling at the moment.

"But I will never forgive myself for the fact that I allowed my fear and my cowardice to get the best of me to the point of breaking the heart of the person I loved most in this world." Alec was surprised when Robert's expression changed and he began to smile once more, even if it was a very faint, soft smile. "The day you were born, I promised myself that I would stop at nothing to protect you and any future siblings of yours. And I promised myself that that meant loving you far and beyond the way my parents pretended to love me." The only thing that Alec wanted to do at the moment was reassure his father that he'd done exactly that, but he couldn't seem to find the words that would express this in the way he knew Robert deserved, so he simply listened as Robert continued. "Michael was the very first person to leave the Circle, and he was the very first person to be hunted and killed by Valentine. So I let your mother believe that I only wanted to take Jace in because he was my parabatai's son. But if I'm honest with myself, I know that it was my way of attempting to make up for everything I did to Michael."

They sat in silence for several minutes, but there was nothing awkward about it. Alec didn't feel the need to speak until he was ready to, and he was simply comforted by the fact that his father understood him and still loved him. "I have a question," he finally said, his voice so impossibly soft that he almost wondered whether or not it had truly come from him. "Does Mom know that you're bi?" he asked, though he felt he knew the answer already. His mother was not the most understanding of people on a good day, which was the reason Alec had never even begun to consider coming out to her. Though he had been expecting the answer, Alec felt his heart sink when Robert began to shake his head. His father had been through so much more than he had ever imagined, and he was kicking himself for ever suspecting Robert the way that he had, for ever being so angry with his father without gathering the facts first.

"My parents told me to never utter those words again," Robert continued, his voice breaking in the most painful of ways. "And I haven't. Not until today, Alexander. When my parents died in the Uprising, I thought that maybe I could let that secret die with them." Alec began to wonder what it had been like to hide something like this for so long. He'd barely lasted the year it had taken him to come out to Isabelle. "I've kept it hidden for the very same reason that you have. I was afraid of what people would think of me. I was afraid that if I told your mother or even you, that you would stop loving me the way my parents had. I just wish I had told you sooner so that I might have helped you through it." Alec hated the resignation he heard in his father's voice, almost as though he had resigned himself to the thought that he would never be the father he wanted to be. So Alec moved to wrap his arms around his father, unfathomably happy when Robert did the same to him. He'd been fearing this day for years, and still having his father's love was all that he had ever dreamed of and more.

After several moments, Alec pulled away from Robert, locking eyes with his father in a way he hoped meant business. "Thank you for telling me all of this," he said, hoping that his father could hear the seriousness in his voice. He wished that there was something he could say that would fix his father's heart, but he knew that there wasn't, so he tried the next best thing that he had. "If there's one thing I've learned from this conversation, it's that I can only hope to be as strong as you someday. If I'm ever half the man that you are, that will make me beyond happy." Alec mustered up the best smile he could, happy to realize that it was much easier to do now that things were back to normal between them. The world felt right once more, and that was enough for Alec at the moment. "When I find my soulmate, the only approval that will matter is yours," he finished, hoping that his father would understand just how much he truly meant every word.

For a few seconds, Alec thought that Robert was going to respond. Then he thought that Robert was going to cry. Then he didn't know exactly what to think about the fact that his father was looking at him with the most brokenhearted of expressions Alec had ever seen. But then Isabelle burst into the library and whatever had been about to happen was ruined. "Raphael Santiago just sent a fire message requesting our immediate assistance," she explained without waiting for anything that could potentially delay her and the news she carried with her. "A vampire has disappeared from the Dumort in the middle of the day, and he's asking that we help if possible. And he requested that we bring Magnus with us," she added, pointedly looking toward Alec. Before he could talk himself out of it, Alec had Magnus on the phone, explaining the situation to him and agreeing to meet him at the Dumort within the next fifteen minutes. For a moment, Alec considered asking Magnus if he was sick, but he shoved that thought away, telling himself that their phone connection had just been fuzzy. He tried reminding himself that warlocks didn't get sick as he ran out of the Institute by his father's side, Isabelle and Jace not far behind them. Warlocks didn't get sick, and that was a fact he knew just as he knew the sky was blue.

.

.

.

It was taking everything Magnus had to glamor himself so that Alec wouldn't know he was sick. But even that was much easier than standing before Alec and pretending that everything was perfectly fine. Especially when he had so much new information. Especially when he now knew he was dying. But here he was anyways, searching through the crime scene that was the Hotel Dumort, trying his hardest to ignore Raphael's deadly glances. It was clear that the crisis with the young vampire who had been taken was not going to keep him from obsessing over Magnus's love life. "Tell me again what you saw, Raphael," Magnus said, not for the first time. It seemed that the boy had been taken from his room, which currently looked as though a hurricane had come for a short visit. They had yet to actually search the room because Magnus didn't want to disturb the scene yet. He was still trying to work through all of the possibilities, but he was having trouble keeping the Shadowhunters out. They simply wanted to dive into the investigation.

"I didn't see anything," Raphael said yet again, and Magnus forced himself to keep from smiling at the exasperation in the vampire's voice. As Robert came to stand beside of him, Magnus shared a quick glance with Alec, and he was relieved to watch as Alec smiled at him in earnest, seemingly telling him that things were fine between him and his father. Yet Magnus couldn't help but notice just how tense Alec seemed. He couldn't tell if it was from the situation at hand or from something that was now going on between the two of them that Magnus was completely unaware of. "Several of us heard a portal being opened. Before we arrived, we heard a very short struggle, only a few seconds long. And before we could get the door opened, we heard the portal closing. We arrived to see this. No one has touched anything, I made sure of that." Magnus finally nodded and motioned for Alec to follow him into the room. If anyone could help him with this, it was going to be Alec. They had spent so much time investigating the other disappearances that there was no better team to search this one as well.

After just a few moments of carefully walking through the room, Alec spoke up, his quiet voice carrying in the silence of the hotel. "This isn't like the other disappearance scenes, Magnus," he said, his voice tight with nerves. "They've never been so bold as to take someone from their home. It's like they wanted people to notice. They wanted us to come here, didn't they?" Magnus began mulling over Alec's question, but he had no good answer. He felt as though the answer should be rather obvious, but he also knew that he was missing something, something huge that would end all of the questions. "Magnus, over here," Alec finally said, and Magnus redirected himself to where Alec was kneeling on the floor. It was very easy for Magnus to see that Alec was standing in the place the portal had been opened and closed. It was a place of great magic, that was for certain. But Magnus also knew that the portal itself shouldn't have left any traces behind, so why Alec was kneeling on the ground was beyond him.

As he dropped to one knee beside of Alec, he motioned for Raphael to enter as well, hoping that this would be the answer they had been looking for. "What's this dirt?" Alec asked as Magnus finally settled in enough to see what was going on. Alec had one hand in a pile of what appeared to be dirt, slowly sifting it through his fingers as though that might give him more information about what it truly was. There had been nothing like this at any of the crime scenes they had ever investigated, and Magnus began to wonder why this one was different. But then Magnus recognized the stuff that Alec was holding in his hands, and his heart hit the floor. There was certainly a reason that this crime scene was different than the others, and Alec had been right in assuming that the culprit had wanted them to come to the Dumort that night.

"Shit," was all he could say, and he immediately regretted it. "Shit," he said again, standing up and moving away from Alec as best he could. What Alec had in his hands was indeed dirt, and Magnus knew that it had been left at this scene for a very specific reason. Magnus watched as the others gathered around him, and he avoided Alec's eyes as best he could. He forced himself to take several deep, deep breaths, trying to calm his nerves as the others began asking him questions. Eventually, he held up his hand, requesting their silence before he would explain himself. "That dirt is from a very particular realm, and it certainly isn't our realm." Magnus met Alec's eyes then, surprised by the fear he saw there, but only because he realized that the fear wasn't for himself, but for the situation they'd found themselves in. "That's what the ground in Edom is made of," Magnus concluded, but as he had expected, only Raphael showed any reaction to this information.

"My father was here, and he left this as a message for me," Magnus continued, though this still had no effect on the rest of the group. He immensely regretted the fact that he hadn't told Alec about Asmodeus, wishing that he didn't have to tell Alec as he told the others as well. "My father is Asmodeus, and he rules in Edom, his own personal corner of Hell," Magnus said in one quick breath, attempting to pull off the bandage as painlessly as possible. This finally had the effect that he wanted, as the Shadowhunters allowed that information to sink in. They all knew who Asmodeus was. Every Shadowhunter alive did. But knowing that he was out of Edom and roaming about earth was something they hadn't been prepared for. And learning that he was Magnus's father was certainly something they hadn't expected even in their wildest dreams. "I should have known that he'd have something to do with these disappearances. Now that I think about it, they have his name written all over them."

For a moment, they were plunged into silence, and Magnus found himself looking between them all. Robert looked as though this was something he'd almost expected, and Magnus wanted to smile at that. Jace and Isabelle, however, had identical expressions of horror, and Magnus wondered if they were thinking about his relationship with Alec and what this new information might mean for that. And that was when Magnus forced himself to look back at Alec once more, but he had no words to describe what he was seeing written across Alec's face. He had halfway expected to see a sense of betrayal when he looked at Alec, or some form of anger at the very least. But that was the opposite of what he was seeing. Magnus was trying his hardest to pick apart the expression, but all he could focus on was just how brokenhearted Alec seemed at the moment. It was almost as though Alec could already tell what Asmodeus had put Magnus through over the years, though Magnus knew that the young Shadowhunter couldn't even begin to understand the half of it.

"If my father left this here," Magnus finally continued, motioning once more to the pile of dirt on the floor, pointedly ignoring Alec's hopelessly confusing gaze. "That means he wanted to lure us here. Though I cannot begin to fathom why." As soon as he said it, however, Magnus knew that was a lie, and for a moment, Magnus felt the world spin ever so slightly as he remembered the dream he'd had about Alec and Ragnor. His eyes involuntarily flashed toward Alec as he thanked his lucky stars that Ragnor had not spent the night with Raphael and was likely at his hidden house in Idris. The last thing he needed to worry about now was trying to keep Asmodeus's dream from coming true. He released all of his breath as the Shadowhunters began to file out of the room after Raphael, but he wasn't at all surprised when Alec lingered behind. For a moment, Magnus thought that Robert was trying to give him a very pointed sort of look on his way out, but Magnus figured that it must not have been too important if he couldn't even decipher what the other man meant. But Magnus felt himself relax ever so slightly as he saw the way Alec was looking back at him, and if he hadn't known any better, he would have almost said that there was a hint of mischief in Alec's eyes.

"I have a proposal," Alec said as soon as he seemed to feel they had at least some sort of privacy. Though everything in Magnus told him that Raphael would be listening in no matter how far away they thought he was. He found himself silently cursing vampire hearing as he raised an eyebrow at Alec, the question written across his face. "I was thinking that I'd take you out for dinner tomorrow night," Alec continued, and Magnus happily began to wonder where this boldness was coming from. It wasn't often that Alec took the initiative in this way, and Magnus was thoroughly pleased to see it happening. "We need to relax, and frankly, I'm tired of spending all our time alone stressing over this Downworld situation. Call me selfish, but I'd like to have you to myself for a bit," Alec finished, and that was when Magnus moved to kiss him ever so gently, unable to contain the emotions that were shooting through him. He ignored the fact that his body still felt as though it would give out at any moment and the fact that his mind was screaming at him to be honest with Alec. All of that could wait just a bit longer. He needed time to figure things out, and he was going to take that time no matter who protested. He still had three months, after all.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi y'all! Sorry that I've been gone for so long, but I'm back now, so yay! Hopefully I'll be back on my regular schedule of posting either on Saturdays or Sundays, but we'll have to see. I'm still pretty busy, and I'll only be busier as we get closer to school starting back. So I'll let y'all know as I have more information about my personal life versus my writing life!
> 
> Please let me know your thoughts on this story. I can't explain how much I enjoy writing it, and I would love nothing more than to hear your how you're feeling about it! This chapter is what I hope to be the turning point of the story, even if it is a slow one! So don't hesitate to let me know what you think!
> 
> See y'all next week! Enjoy!

If anyone had ever tried to convince a younger Magnus that he would eventually find himself eating dinner at a mundane restaurant with his Shadowhunter boyfriend, he knew that his younger self would have likely admitted that person to an insane asylum. But here he was, laughing at yet another stupid joke that Alec had made, ignoring the fact that more than a fair share of mundanes were staring at Alec's runes, clearly trying to figure out what kind of tattoos they were. The only thing Magnus was staring at for himself was Alec's deep blue eyes, finding himself completely captivated by the way Alec's eyes sparkled in the dim lighting of the restaurant. "Are you even listening to me?" Alec asked him, though his voice was filled with so much amusement that there was no room left for anger or annoyance. "What are you staring at?" he asked, and Magnus found himself laughing once again. Of course, he hadn't heard a word of what Alec had been saying as he had been far too busy staring into the Shadowhunter's eyes and wondering what the mundanes would do if he were to get up and pull Alec into a kiss within the next few minutes.

"I'm only staring at the same thing the entire restaurant seems to be staring at, Alexander," Magnus replied, his voice soft and light in a way he hadn't heard it in the longest of times. For the first time that night, Alec looked down at his hands as he clasped them together on top of the table, clearly made self conscious by what Magnus had just pointed out. "Oh come now," Magnus said, trying to smooth the situation over. Though he found it incredibly endearing, he hated to see Alec embarrassed in this way, knowing that it only served to make Alec more nervous and shy than he would normally be. "Even the mundanes are capable of recognizing true beauty when they see it," he continued, happy to see that Alec's smile was returning to his face. "Never fear, my darling, one look from me and they'll understand that such a masterpiece as you, especially one already claimed, is to only be looked at and never touched," Magnus dramatically finished, earning a laugh from Alec that made his heart all but sing. He was entirely certain that he would never become used to the sound of Alec's laughter, a sound that warmed his very soul in place he hadn't even realized had become frozen over the centuries.

Alec began shaking his head, but before he could say anything in response, their waiter arrived with their food, and the next few minutes were spent in silence as they began to digest just how wonderful their food truly was. "I have a couple of questions," Alec finally said after they'd had the time to take more than several bites of food. Magnus began to wonder why Alec had suddenly turned so serious, but since he had food in his mouth at the moment, he simply nodded to Alec so that he would continue. "Why do you call me Alexander more often than not?" he asked, and all Magnus could hear in his voice was open curiosity. It was very clear that Alec had been wondering this for quite some time now, and he'd only just now gotten the courage to actually voice it. Magnus took several more moments to consider this question for himself, as it was something he hadn't consciously thought about before. Logically, he knew that Alec's name shouldn't really make a difference to him one way or another. It was just a name, after all. Yet the more Magnus thought about it, the more he began to understand just how much he cherished Alec's name in particular.

He couldn't help but chuckle at the expression on Alec's face. It was clear that the Shadowhunter was thinking through the situation, clearly analyzing the expressions and emotions Magnus had been running through as he'd begun thinking of his answer. The last thing Magnus wanted to do was allow others to overhear such a personal conversation and see that little piece of their lives, but Magnus also knew that no one was really listening to them, even if they were staring at Alec. He waited to answer until after their waitress had refilled their drinks and asked for the millionth time if they needed anything else. When they'd assured her that they were fine, Magnus finally turned back to Alec and gathered his thoughts enough to say anything at all. "I must admit that I hadn't really given it much thought before now," Magnus began, hoping that he could find the right words that wouldn't sound so unbelievably cheesy like the thoughts he was currently having. "I guess it's because I like having something with you that's all my own."

At that, Alec's confusion only deepened. He was obviously thinking of the fact that Magnus had many things of his that were solely in the warlock's possession. "Everyone you love seems to call you Alexander either when they're angry with you or they want to show you just how much they love you." Magnus clearly remembered the first time he'd heard Jace use Alec's full name when he was both angry and when he was being unbelievably gentle with his parabatai. "But the thing about my love for you is that it's so much more constant than anything I've ever felt in my life." At this, Magnus refrained from mentioning the fact that there was a very solid reason for this feeling, being that they were soulmates and all. That was a conversation best saved for later. "I wish to show you my love for you every single time I so much as look at you, and if that means calling you Alexander so that you have a constant reminder of it, then so be it." He spread his hands after that, hoping that would prompt Alec to respond, though he knew it would take the boy a few moments to do so because he was clearly thinking things over at the current moment.

At first, Magnus thought that Alec was still confused, but the confusion slowly turned into the softest expression Magnus thought he had ever seen. Magnus didn't know what he was expecting Alec to say after that, but whatever it had been, Alec had taken the conversation in a completely different direction than that. "I wish you had a nickname so that I could do the same for you," he replied, and though his voice was low and soft, Magnus could physically feel the volumes of love that Alec had packed into his words. For a moment, Magnus was rendered speechless. He knew that Alec loved him; they wouldn't be where they were at the moment if Alec didn't love him. But hearing it so concretely, as though it was the most natural thing in the world to Alec, that was something he hadn't been prepared for. Especially not when he was still hiding things from Alec. But before he could respond in any way, Alec was speaking once again. "My other question is more difficult," he admitted, clearly working up the courage to ask the question. "How did you know that the dirt your father left was from Edom?"

This was obviously something that Alec had been thinking about for a while, mulling it over and trying to come to his own conclusion about. But Alec was also clearly tired of mulling it over, tired of the uncertainty over the whole situation, so he'd finally forced himself to ask the one question that had been on his mind since the night before. The biggest problem at the moment was the fact that Magnus had also been thinking of the moment in which Alec would inevitably ask this question. He'd seen the question in Alec's eyes as he'd explained just where the dirt was from and that it was meant as a message from his father. He'd known it was coming, but that didn't mean that he was any more prepared for it. Especially not when the answer to that question was a long and horrifying story that, out of all the people in the world, only Ragnor and Raphael knew. "You don't have to answer that," Alec quickly added, sensing Magnus's hesitation and not wanting to overstep himself. "I'm sorry if that was a bad question." Magnus wanted nothing more than to reassure Alec, but he knew that doing so would mean first reassuring himself.

The night before, Magnus had fallen asleep to the thought that giving Alec the truth once he posed that question would take an act of faith and trust so large that Magnus knew it would be the biggest challenge of their relationship to date. When the waitress came to give them their bill, Magnus used this as an opportunity to continue to think about the situation. He so desperately wanted to tell Alec the full story, especially after he'd had the worst of nightmares about it the night before. But he was worried that telling Alec would either put Alec in danger or serve to scare Alec away from him. Up until this point, Alec had only really gotten glimpses of just how dangerous most of Magnus's life was. And Magnus couldn't help but wonder how Alec would react when he finally got much more than a glimpse of that. But as he looked at Alec across the table, Magnus saw nothing but a concern so deep that it hit him like a wave and he could no longer see anything else. So he found himself motioning for Alec to get up and follow him. They were close enough to Central Park that Magnus was hoping they could find a private spot. This was a story that needed to be kept from curious ears.

They walked along in silence, but much like their normal silence, Magnus felt as though it was far from awkward. They were comfortable together, and the silence didn't need to be filled with words for them to understand one another. Eventually, Magnus found a park bench that was dimly lit by a street lamp nearby. He led Alec over to it, attempting to build up the courage he knew he would need for the impending conversation. But nothing was helping at the moment, not as the memories began washing through his mind. And then suddenly Alec's hand was in his and all the doubts and fears began to melt away. There were times when he doubted that Alec was his soulmate, times when it seemed so unlikely that someone who loved him so genuinely could be the soulmate he'd been looking for for centuries, but then there were times like this when the world just seemed so perfectly right merely due to Alec's presence. It was as though his soul understood far more than his mind ever would. So he stopped questioning it and simply took a deep breath. "I told you about the fact that I'm the only one of my father's children to ever decline his offer to work with him, right?" Magnus found himself extremely relieved when Alec simply nodded instead of responding with words. He was worried that the slightest of interruptions might cause him to lose his courage.

"Let me start from the beginning," Magnus quickly added, wishing that his thoughts were more in order than they currently were. He only hoped that Alec could follow everything as it all unraveled within his mind. "A couple of centuries ago, before we ever even thought of meeting Raphael, Ragnor adopted a warlock child. His name was Reid, and he was with us for fifteen years." At that, Magnus stopped and took yet another deep breath. There was a reason that only Raphael knew this story, and even then, Ragnor had been the one to actually tell it. "That kid was my everything. He was certainly his uncle's boy through and through. I think his favorite thing in the world was helping me annoy his father. In the end, I'm fairly certain that I was closer to Reid than I have ever been to Ragnor." It was then that Magnus had to look away from Alec, the Shadowhunter's gaze so full of concern, love, and pain that it was far too much for him to take. "And it didn't take my father long to figure that out. So it wasn't long after Reid turned fifteen that I found myself waking up in Edom to the sound of Reid screaming my name and begging me to wake up." For a moment, Magnus had to force the world to right itself. He couldn't actually believe that he was telling Alec this, but then again, if he was ever going to tell anyone in the world, it made sense that he would be telling Alec of all people.

"My father wasted no time in making it known that what he wanted was for me to finally agree to work with him," Magnus continued, despite the fact that everything in his body was screaming at him to stop. This was something he knew in his heart that he needed to do. "Looking back on it now, it shouldn't have been a surprise that as soon as I said no he took to torturing Reid." Magnus involuntarily shuddered at the memory, willing it back into the recesses of his mind, though he knew that it would be long before it went back completely. "It didn't take long for me to give in, and my father was entirely too happy to make a deal with me. He wanted me to stay in Edom and work for him." In that moment, Magnus couldn't help but notice the fact that his entire body felt as though it was frozen over, the weight of the memories pressing into him in a chilling way. "I told him that I would stay in Edom with him if it meant that he would let Reid go, but I would never work for him." At that, Magnus began to wonder exactly what Alec was thinking at the moment. The Shadowhunter's expression was becoming unreadable, and Magnus was beginning to doubt that telling him the truth was the right course of action.

But he was already in the middle of the story, so there was no turning back. "I never imagined that that particular answer would make Asmodeus so angry. But as soon as I'd finished speaking, his rage took over, and the next thing I knew, Reid was dead." Magnus knew that he should have used different words to explain what had happened, he knew that he should have made things sound differently, but the emptiness of his explanation was a representation of the emptiness that he was feeling inside, so he didn't try to fix it. "Though he killed Reid, my father still kept me in Edom. At that time, Edom contained its own human population, the equivalent of Shadowhunters. But even then they were struggling as the demons took over a bit more each day. I can't imagine that any of them are left alive now." Now that he was past the hardest part of the story, Magnus felt his mind regain its footing once again. He could block out the previous parts and focus on what was left in front of him, and for now, that had to be enough.

Before he continued, Magnus slowly became aware of the fact that, while his entire body felt ice cold, one part of him was beginning to warm up ever so slightly, through no effort of his own. He vaguely remembered Alec pressing their hands together, but the fact that Alec's hand was warming his still came as a surprise. He wanted to focus on the fact that Alec could take the cold away for him, but he knew that was something they should address at a different time. "I lived with the Edomites for five years before my father got bored with me and sent me home. I think he'd hoped that living in Edom would change my mind, but all I did was help them fight back against the demons and decline his offer every time he came to visit me, which he did at least once a week." Magnus wanted to add that he'd spent most days in turmoil, the memory of Reid haunting him every time he so much as blinked, but he also knew from the expression on Alec's face that voicing that very thought was unnecessary. "I think that by that point Ragnor had written both of us off as dead. So when I got back, he had to start the grieving process all over again. But never once did he blame me for what happened. He simply welcomed me home again, and I've never been more thankful for anything in my entire life."

After Magnus finished speaking, silence overwhelmed them once more, but this silence was startlingly different than what they had experienced before. It still wasn't uncomfortable, but Magnus could feel the weight of everything that had just been shared. He hoped he hadn't rushed through it, hoped that Alec understood the things that he wasn't verbally expressing, but he made no effort to confirm either of those things. "The dirt from Edom is actually impossible to keep from recognizing once you've lived there long enough," Magnus added as soon as he realized that he'd left out the part of the conversation that Alec had actually been interested in originally. "Because the demons laid waste to all of Edom, the landscape turned into a sort of desert, and there were constant sandstorms. It was the one thing from Edom that my father knew I would recognize but no one else would. Not even Ragnor or Raphael would have because, though they know the story, they never spent any time there themselves. It was the perfect jab at me and only me, and he knew it."

They sat in silence once more for several long seconds, but Magnus didn't mind it. He knew that Alec needed time to digest exactly what was going on, and he couldn't help but wonder if Alec was beginning to realize just how much his father's little message was truly affecting him. The only thing he'd been able to think about all day was Reid. At least that was until they'd gone on their date. But even then, he felt guilty for not thinking of Reid more during his date with Alec. He wished he hadn't so easily shoved everything to the side simply because Alec was there. "If I ever get my hands on Asmodeus, I'll kill him myself," Alec suddenly said, and that was when Magnus finally recognized the rage that was welling up within Alec. It was something so unexpected that Magnus didn't really know how to respond at first. This wasn't a side of Alec that he'd ever really seen, and it was terrifying in its own way.

Before Magnus could really think about what to do, he felt himself moving to wrap his arms around Alec as gently as he possibly could. He knew that he was overwhelmed with emotion, but he didn't have enough energy to figure out exactly which emotions they were, so he simply held onto Alec for as long as he could, wishing that he could bottle up what he was feeling in that moment and keep it forever. He felt the Alec's warmth melting into him, and he did nothing to stop it. If Alec could melt away this sort of ice, then Magnus knew that there was nothing their love couldn't do for them. "You'll do no such thing, Alexander," he finally said, working up the courage to speak again after he got past the emotions that had bombarded him all at once. "My father is one of the most powerful beings in this universe, and he uses that power for pain. If you ever end up anywhere near him, please promise me that you'll do nothing but figure out how to get away from him as soon as possible." At first, Magnus thought that Alec was going to argue with him but then he finally nodded, though Magnus had to admit that the nod seemed somewhat reluctant.

Eventually, Magnus forced himself to get up and continue their walk home, finding himself hoping that Alec would stay once they got there. It had been weeks since he'd finally stopped arguing when Alec wanted to walk him home. It hadn't taken much for him to figure out that Alec's worry over the Downworlder situation meant that he would not leave Magnus alone at night. Magnus just wished that Alec could understand that the real danger was within himself. The real danger came from being soulmates, and there was nothing that Alec could do about that. Walking him home every night wasn't going to change the fact that he would be dead in three months if they didn't figure out exactly what to do about the soulmate predicament. But, not for the first time that night, Magnus shoved that thought aside as he moved to kiss Alec goodnight, trying to act as though he wasn't disappointed when Alec explained that he needed to get back to the Institute just in case Robert had a mission for them that night. Yet as soon as the door closed behind Alec, Magnus couldn't help but let everything inside of himself fall apart, just as it had been waiting to do all night.  
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Alec had to admit that relief absolutely flooded through him when he arrived at the Institute and his father explained that they wouldn't be going on a mission that night. That was the last thing he wanted to do at the moment, especially with so many things running through his mind all at once. He wanted nothing more than to gather his thoughts about the evening. On the one hand, he'd enjoyed his time with Magnus, just as he always did. But he could still feel the weight of what Magnus had told him, and he didn't truly know how to deal with that. So instead of dealing with it, he simply moved to peek into Max's room on the way to his own, wishing he'd come back earlier so that he could spend the time with Max that he'd promised the day before. He'd expected to find Max asleep already, but he hadn't been prepared to find Max sitting up in bed, clearly awake as he was reading a book.

Alec couldn't help but smile as he made his way into Max's room. Max was the only kid he knew who would stay up past his bedtime just to read a book. "Alec! Did you know that there's an angel whose job is to assign pairs of soulmates to their bodies and make sure they end up together?" Max asked as soon as he realized that Alec was there. Alec was plenty prepared to admit that he actually had not known that, but before he could respond in any way, Max was speaking again, his tone changing dramatically. "Oh no," he breathed, suddenly realizing something that Alec couldn't even begin to follow. "I'm sorry. This was supposed to be your gift, but I got bored and curious and well." Max's voice trailed off as he held up the book so that Alec could see it. Its front cover proclaimed that it was a book full of information about anything and everything to do with soulmates. Though Max had never shown signs of having a soulmate of his own, he'd always been immensely curious about those of his siblings. "I found it in a bookshop in Idris and I thought you might be interested in it."

Moving to sit on the foot of Max's bed, Alec reached out a hand and took the book from his little brother, carefully marking Max's page as he did so. If Max was that interested in soulmates, Alec certainly wasn't going to keep him from reading more about them. "That was very thoughtful of you, Max," he said in what he hoped was a genuine tone. He was so exhausted that he felt as though that was the only thing showing through at the moment despite the fact that he was extremely touched by Max's gift. "I wonder if that angel has always been the same one or if they trade out every so often," he said, knowing that he was luring Max into talking more about what he'd read, even if the younger boy didn't exactly realize it. Max moved to motion him over closer, and he reached to open the book in a way that Alec knew meant business. If there was one thing that got Max excited more than anything else in the world, it was talking about the things that he'd read.

"The book says that it's only supposed to be one specific angel. Apparently that angel is trained for that job, and that's all they ever do," Max said, his eyes lighting up in a way that Alec knew he would never really be able to explain. "But a couple thousand years ago, the original angel for that job fell from Heaven and became a Greater Demon, so someone else had to take over for them." Alec wanted to ask why that angel would have fallen, if it had something to do with the soulmate job or if it was something else entirely, but he let Max keep talking, knowing that he could do his own research at a later date. "So there was a really long period of time called the Dark Ages where there were no soulmates because there was no angel trained for the job, so they couldn't place the souls into bodies for a couple of centuries." Alec was going to respond with a question that would keep Max talking, but the suddenly the little boy changed subjects and Alec had to regain his footing within the conversation. "Do you think that Magnus is your soulmate?"

The question all but took the breath out of Alec. He didn't remember ever talking to Max about Magnus, and that meant that Max had to have found out on his own. It wasn't that Alec cared about that in and of itself. But if Max knew, then Alec knew he couldn't say for certain that his mother didn't know as well. "I'm sorry," Max continued, seeing the hesitation on Alec's face and knowing he'd said something wrong. "I overheard you talking to Izzy before Mom and I left for Idris. I haven't told anyone, Alec, I swear." Max's voice was becoming desperate as he tried to make amends, and Alec found himself releasing breath that he hadn't even known he'd been holding. If Max had overheard them on his own, then the likelihood that Maryse knew was very low. So Alec reached over to wrap an arm around Max, wishing that he could have been the one to tell Max about Magnus on his own, but since that would never change now, he simply took it for what it was.

"Honestly, I have no idea, Max," he answered, choosing to ignore the rest of what Max had said. It was clear from Max's expression that what he had said was plenty. As soon as Max had seen that Alec was far from angry, that was enough to relax him and make him understand that everything was fine between the two of them. "I wish that Magnus was my soulmate, but I can't help but thinking that if he was, we would have figured that out already," he continued, wondering when his mind had actually thought through this. He hadn't consciously thought of any of it until that very moment, and even now, it was a hard concept for him to hold onto. On the one hand, life felt so perfectly right when he was with Magnus. But on the other hand, he couldn't stop the doubts from coming along every time he thought about the fact that they should have been able to figure it out by now. "I guess we'll just have to wait and see," Alec said, but even as he said it, he knew that his heart wasn't in it.

Alec allowed himself to stay with Max for a little longer, listening to Max tell him more about soulmates, and wishing more than ever that he would simply hurry up and find out who his was. He tried his best to shove away all the doubts and just remind himself that once he eventually found out that none of that would matter anymore, but nothing seemed to help in that moment. Eventually, despite Max's protests, he took the book and forced Max to turn the lights out. Max wasn't exactly the most pleasant person to be around when he'd had little sleep. After promising profusely that they would spend some time learning about soulmates together, Alec returned to his own room. In his heart, he knew that the first thing he would be doing the next day would not be reading more about soulmates. Though his mind wouldn't seem to allow him to thinking concretely about the situation at the moment, Alec could feel the ice cold worry taking over, and he knew that he needed to talk to Magnus about it as soon as possible. Preferably before it took over so much that he wouldn't be able to get his mind back without a huge fight.  
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When Magnus woke up the next morning, he certainly hadn't been expecting to wake to the sound of Alec knocking on his bedroom door. He'd given Alec a key to his apartment for a very specific reason, but when Alec had left the night before, Magnus hadn't really expected to see him until at least the next afternoon. And certainly not first thing in the morning. So Magnus took a moment to throw his glamors up before calling out for Alec to come in. He felt the guilt rise up within him as he did so, hiding the runes just like he did every other day, wishing that he could find another way to work through the soulmate situation. Alec smiled as he came to sit beside of Magnus, though Magnus could see the worry that was slowly building up within him. "I brought you your favorite," he said as he threw a bag of Chinese takeout on the bed. "It's past noon already," Alec finished, knowing that those words explained everything. Magnus immediately knew that he had slept until past noon because of just how sick and exhausted he was, but that wasn't something that he could voice to Alec at the moment.

"Let me get dressed, and then we can have lunch together if you haven't eaten already," he replied, hoping that by not acknowledging the time that Alec would drop it. But it was very clear that Alec had other things on his mind at the moment as well. Things that he wanted to talk about as soon as possible. Magnus could sense that this was the real reason Alec was here, so he simply threw some clothes on and made his way into the kitchen, happy to see that Alec had gotten some food for himself as well. For the first time since they had met, the two of them ate in silence, and Magnus could legitimately feel the weight of that silence within his bones. Never before had their silence been so heavy. It was so unbelievably clear that Alec had so much on his mind, and all Magnus could do was wait for him to speak. It was almost maddening, to say the least, and Magnus kept his eyes on his food as much as possible, wishing for a way out.

As soon as they'd finished eating, Alec moved to place the dirty dishes in the sink, leaving them for a later date. "We need to talk," he finally said, and Magnus could feel the weight begin to shift. It didn't lift completely, but it shifted into a new form. At least they were finally going to address the weight. But that brought on more challenges of its own kind, and Magnus wasn't entirely sure he knew how to deal with them. "I can't get these thoughts out of my mind, and I don't want them to effect anything between us, so I thought it would be best to come talk to you right away. I learned my lesson with my father," Alec continued, and Magnus couldn't help but smile at that. At least Alec hadn't let the past weigh him down at all. It was refreshing to see Alec grow in this way, even if that growth was making him slightly uncomfortable at the moment.

Instead of responding, Magnus simply waited for Alec to continue. He knew there was no way of preparing for what was coming, so he didn't even begin to try to. "What happens when I find my soulmate?" Alec finally asked, the words coming out in one very quick chain that Alec couldn't seem to contain. "I don't know if you have a soulmate or not, and frankly, that's none of my business at the moment, but I do, and I'm afraid of what might happen when I find him. I love you more than I ever thought would be possible, and now I don't know what to do because I don't want to find him and then be left to pick between the two of you. Leaving you would break my heart, even if it was for my soulmate and-" at that, Magnus moved to take Alec into his arms. It was very clear that Alec had been obsessing over this for some time, and the only thing Magnus knew to do was to comfort him as best as possible.

As soon as Alec stopped speaking and buried his face in Magnus's chest, however, Magnus felt himself drowning in the guilt once more. All it would take would be two seconds of courage and then Alec would know the truth and neither of them would have to worry about anything anymore. All it would take would be two seconds to calm all of Alec's fears. But Magnus felt himself holding back in the same way he had been for days. It wouldn't take much, but it would take everything he had. And in that moment, that was simply too much. "Listen to me, Alexander," he heard himself saying, though he wasn't really registering it very well. "Stop worrying about what tomorrow might bring. Right now, all we have is today. And frankly, Alexander, today is all I want. As long as I'm with you, today is more than enough for me." He tried to smile as Alec met his eyes once more, but he knew that his heart wasn't completely in it. He wished that he could comfort Alec much more, but he also knew that it was impossible at the moment.

Even if he told the truth, even if he finally let Alec know that they were soulmates, Magnus knew that would only be the beginning of more pain for Alec. Telling the truth would mean admitting that he was dying. Telling the truth would mean admitting that there was little to nothing they could do about it, at least not with the information they currently had. So he simply held onto Alec and willed the Shadowhunter's fears away. The last thing Alec needed at the moment was to spend the next three months fretting over the fact that their soulmate bond was hurting Magnus. "That's well and good, Magnus," Alec responded, his voice much stronger than it had been before. "But there's something going on with you, and I'm afraid that we won't have many more todays if you don't let me help you. Oh, don't pretend like everyone hasn't noticed that you haven't been yourself lately," he added as Magnus began to protest. "Most people don't sleep past noon unless there's something wrong Magnus, and I know you weren't up drinking last night. So please talk to me."

At first, the desperation and worry in Alec's voice almost pulled the truth out of Magnus, but he got ahold of it in time, tamping it back down as best he could. "I'm just as fine as I've ever been, Alec," Magnus replied, but he could hear just how weak it sounded for himself. He didn't need to see Alec's expression to know that it hadn't been convincing. But as Alec pulled away from him, he found himself wishing that he could take it back and fix it. "Seriously, Alexander, if there was something going on that you needed to worry about, you would be the first person to know about it." The words caught in Magnus's throat as he said them. Up until this point, he had avoided actually directly lying to Alec about anything. He'd never directly told Alec that they weren't soulmates, that was just something that Alec assumed based on the lack of confirmation. He'd never directly told Alec that there was nothing wrong with him. But now he had. He'd told Alec the biggest lie he could have, especially when the truth was that he was dying.

And he knew that Alec could see it in his eyes. No amount of glamor could hide that sort of guilt. And Alec was clearly angry about it, but he was too gentle and kind to do anything over the top about it. "When you're ready to talk to me, Magnus, come find me," he said, his voice ice cold in a way that tore at Magnus's heart. "When you're ready to stop lying to me, let me know." At that, Alec turned to walk out of the apartment, and just like that, Magnus's world began to fall apart. The last thing he could do was tell Alec the truth. But Alec had been the one person who was keeping him anchored down in the middle of the storm. And now that Alec was angry with him, now that Alec was slowly beginning to fit the pieces of the puzzle together for himself, everything was crashing down around him, and Magnus knew that he was helpless against it all. Before he could decide whether to stay home or go after Alec, his body decided for him, and Magnus found himself in the bathroom, puking his guts out once again and wishing that Alec was by his side. As he reached for his phone, Magnus could only hope that Ragnor would tamp his own anger and fear down long enough to productively help him. As soon as he could get away from the toilet long enough to do so, he was going to dive into research on soulmates, no matter what it took out of him.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! Sorry that this is so late, but I guess it's better late than never! I'm hoping that I'll be able to keep up with my schedule of posting every week, but I'm not making any promises as we're only getting closer to the start of next semester and the death of my social life and free time!
> 
> BUT I hope you enjoy this chapter! It's a little different than the chapters before have been, as you'll see in just a bit, but I really enjoyed writing it. Let's just say that I hope you enjoy the calm before the storm. Things are going to change for our boys very, very soon, so I hope you're ready for where this is headed.
> 
> Thanks to everyone for all the support on this! Feel free to let me know your thoughts; I love hearing what you have to say!
> 
> Enjoy!

Alec was a bundle of nerves and he knew that nothing was really going to help that at the moment. He'd been a bundle of nerves for the past two weeks, and he hated to admit that it was something he was getting entirely too used to. He'd spent the past two weeks in Idris, by his father's side as they'd gone in and out of meetings with the Clave. After yet another two Downworlders had died, the Clave had called them in immediately, an investigation of a new kind underway as soon as they'd arrived in Alicante. Alec understood that the Clave simply wanted to make sure that they were doing their jobs, but that didn't make the investigation any easier. The worst part was that the Clave wouldn't even begin to admit that it was an investigation. They insisted that it was simply a series of meetings designed so that they could catch up on the New York Institute's investigation. But Alec knew that that was far from the truth. The Clave actually wanted to make sure that they were competent enough to continue the investigation while also ensuring that none of them were involved in the Downworlder situation for themselves.

So here he was at yet another Clave meeting, trying his hardest to keep his mind focused but knowing that wasn't going to happen. Not when this was the last day in Idris before they would finally be allowed to go home. Not when this was the last day before he got to see Magnus. He'd called Magnus as soon as they'd been called into Alicante, afraid of going away without making Magnus aware of the situation. After he'd stormed out of Magnus's apartment, the last thing he wanted was for Magnus to think that he was so mad or that he cared so little that he'd left for two weeks without so much as a word between them. After that, he'd sent Magnus at least one fire message a day, and he'd been pleasantly surprised when Magnus had responded to every single one. He'd been worried that their argument, if you could really call it that, would have changed things between them. But Magnus's messages hadn't been out of the ordinary, so Alec had allowed himself to relax over that, at least until he got home. He had many other things to worry about, so he had allowed himself a break from that particular area of worrying.

In their messages, Alec had tried to keep Magnus as updated as possible. He'd learned a fair bit of new information from the Clave, and he knew that Magnus could use it in the ongoing investigation. But what Alec hadn't mentioned was the fear he was experiencing day in and day out. Every night he'd gone to bed wondering if tomorrow would be the day. He knew it was just a matter of time before the Clave submitted both him and his father to a trial by the Mortal Sword. If the Clave had reason to investigate them, then they certainly had reason to pull the truth out of them via the Sword. And though Alec wasn't exactly scared of the Sword itself, he was most certainly scared of what the Sword might compel him to tell. Magnus had been so heavily involved in the investigation, and he knew that in a trial by the Sword, it would only be a matter of time before he spilled the nature of his relationship with Magnus to the entire Clave.

And if Alec thought that their current standing with the Clave was bad, he knew that his relationship with Magnus would only serve to make things worse than he could ever imagine. So he had spent his days in silent anticipation, worried that the next meeting might condemn him even further, might endanger Magnus even more. But so far, the Clave hadn't even come close to suggesting that they be subjected to a trial by the Sword. As the past two weeks had worn on, as he'd gone over evidence time and time again with so many different Clave members that he couldn't even begin to keep their names straight, Alec had began to wonder more and more why they hadn't brought the Sword into play. Here they were, on the last day they planned to hold Robert and Alec in Idris, and they still hadn't used the Sword. And Alec couldn't keep himself from wondering if the Clave really trusted them that much or if there was something deeper going on behind the scenes.

"But then there's the matter of the person at the crime scene who our witness says fits your description," someone who Alec thought was named Aldertree was saying to Robert. This didn't exactly surprise Alec as it wasn't the first time that the witness' description had been brought up. The first couple of times it had been brought up, it had given Alec some anxiety to think about what the Clave might do if they thought his father was involved in any way. But after hours of going back and forth about it, Alec realized that there was so little evidence one way or another that there wasn't much they needed to worry about. The sad fact of the matter was that, had the witness been a Shadowhunter, things might be different. But since the witness was a warlock, the Clave felt less than compelled to act on the description, taking it with a grain of salt as they did everything that came from the mouth of a Downworlder. Not to mention that Alec had quickly realized that the Clave simply liked to talk in circles when they didn't fully understand what was going on, as they were doing at that very moment.

Alec looked down at his feet to hide his smile when Robert sighed, not for the first time that day. "We've been over that as well," Robert said, making no effort to hide the exasperation in his voice. "I don't know any more about what that particular witness had to say than anyone else here does because I wasn't there. Try me by the Sword if you'd like." At that, Alec's smile only widened. He could hear the defiance in his father's voice. He knew that most other people would likely write it off as annoyance and exhaustion, but Alec knew better than that. Robert was so stubbly daring the Clave to test him. He was so stubbly standing his ground that none of them realized it, and that made it all the better to Alec. "I know that none of you want to hear this, but I am still very much of the belief that the Circle was behind that particular attack at the very least, if not all the rest of the attacks on Downworld." At that, the room erupted, and Alec couldn't help but look to his father in pure surprise.

This was the first time that Alec was hearing anything about the Circle, at least in any concrete sort of way. With Valentine dead, it seemed to be understood that the remaining members of the Circle were too afraid to do anything on their own. But based on the number of people speaking over one another at the moment, this clearly wasn't the first time that Robert had brought up his suspicions. Alec couldn't help but smile once again when his father simply shrugged as if to say that sometimes things like this simply couldn't be avoided. Eventually, the Clave's new Inquisitor got the room under control. Alec wasn't generally fond of Inquisitor Herondale himself, but he had decided to give her the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she was a warm person when she wasn't working. "Robert," she finally said, her voice so cold that Alec could feel it from where he was sitting. "We will discuss this at a later date." With that, it was very clear that the morning meetings were over, and no one was prepared to argue with Inquisitor Herondale.

So Alec simply followed his father back to the Lightwood's Alicante house as he had every other day at lunchtime. He so desperately wanted to ask for his father's permission to return home early, but he knew that he couldn't leave his father in the middle of a mess like this, so he pushed thoughts of Magnus aside for the time being. Alec had expected that their lunch would be the same as it had every other day for the past two weeks. Robert had spread out his personal copies of their evidence all over the floor of the library. And each day during lunch, he'd gotten his food and disappeared into the library, studying the evidence over and over again, his silence only broken when he wanted to clarify something with Alec. Today, however, Robert didn't enter the library once he'd fixed his lunch, and Alec found himself sitting across the table from his father for the first time since they'd arrived in Idris. "Do you really believe that the Circle could have something to do with this?" Alec asked, deciding to take advantage of the change in routine.

For a moment, Robert seemed to think over the question, though Alec knew he was simply giving himself time to chew his food. His display in the Clave meeting told Alec that he knew exactly how he felt about the Circle's involvement. "Yes, Alexander, I do," he replied, his words careful, as though he was attempting to decide where to head next in the conversation. "Frankly, I don't see any other way around it, but the Clave seems very adamant that this situation is the fault of anyone but the Circle." Robert sighed yet again, and Alec began wishing that he could help his father in whatever way would be possible, but the problem was that he didn't know how to help. "I understand that the Clave doesn't want to admit that the Circle is back in action. That would be altogether terrifying in and of itself, but what's more terrifying to me is the thought that the Clave might be making the mistake of ignoring the Circle yet again." Alec had to admit that his father had a wonderful point. If the Clave had taken the Circle seriously to begin with, hundreds of people might have been saved.

The last thing Alec wanted was to find out that his father was right, but the more he thought about it, the more pieces began falling into place. "There's someone out there who's disguising themselves as you using runes," Alec suddenly said, more to himself than anything else. "And if they have the forethought to disguise themselves as you of all people, that most likely means they've known you for a while now. They probably want to ruin your name, which means they were probably in the Circle themselves and they're angry that you left." For a moment, Alec couldn't read Robert's expression, but then he realized that his father was slowly beginning to show the pride that he felt, clearly not having expected Alec to figure things out on his own. Yet in that moment, Alec was just happy that they had finally restored their relationship to everything that it had been before, something that Alec had been worried about from the moment he'd come out to his father, from the moment he'd gotten so angry with Robert over his history with the Circle.

"Try convincing the Clave of that," Robert replied, though Alec was happy to hear that the anger and annoyance was gone from his voice. From the soft chuckle that Robert gave, Alec knew that he was mostly just amusedly annoyed with the situation at hand, as he most often was when the Clave was involved. Before Alec could respond in any way, Robert finally got up from the table and motioned for Alec to follow him. "Before we have to go back to that little version of hell," Robert continued, only serving to make Alec smile wider. "There's something I'd like for you to have." He was slightly surprised by that comment, but not as surprised as he was when he entered the library to find that his father had completely cleaned up everything about the cases that he'd left spread out for the past two weeks. If there was one thing Alec knew about his father, it was that he'd carefully catalogued and organized the evidence as he'd put it all away in preparation for going back to New York.

The only thing Alec knew to do was to sit down, watching as Robert moved around a bit nervously. "The day Michael and I became parabatai, my father gave me the Lightwood ring and told me it was because I was becoming a man," Robert finally said, something that confused Alec at first. It was such an abrupt change in the conversation, or at least it was for someone who was outside of Robert's mind. But he decided to hear his father out; he could hear the emotion that had built up already. "But even then I could tell that he meant nothing by it. He was simply giving me the ring because he felt it was something that he had to do. The duty of a Lightwood." Alec thought he knew where this was going, but he also didn't want to assume things too far in advance. He'd made too much of a habit of that lately. "That day I promised myself that I would never do the same to any children of mine. That I would make it matter or I wouldn't do it at all." Alec reached to take the ring from his father as Robert took it off of his own hand and held it out toward him. This was something he'd always wanted and wished for, but he couldn't help but wonder why Robert was giving him the ring now of all times.

"I've never been more proud of anyone than I have been of you over the past few months," Robert continued, his voice a mixture of emotions that Alec couldn't even begin to individually separate. "The way you've fought for the things that you're passionate about continues to amaze me. It's been months, and you still haven't given up on solving the Downworld cases. Not because you feel you have any stake it them, but because you feel justice needs to be served, that someone should be advocating for the people that are suffering. And that is a rare thing to see among Shadowhunters these days." At that admission, Robert sounded a bit tired, as though this was something that exhausted him in and of itself. "The way you've fought for yourself and for love, the way you've fought to love yourself, it's all been astounding to me. I've been wanting to do something to show you just how proud I am, and every time I thought of it, this was all I could think to do." Alec waited in the silence while his father paused and finally sat down beside of him. This was the last thing that he'd expected from Robert, and it had rendered him speechless to say the least.

"I've never thought that a Shadowhunter's family name should carry any weight as to how they are perceived by the world," Robert finally continued after seemingly figuring out exactly where he wanted the conversation to go. "Generations and individuals should have to reshape their family name just as the last generation had, they should have to prove themselves and the person they are." Alec looked down at the ring in his hands at that, wondering what Robert believed the Lightwood name meant now. "The man you've proven to be, son, is the most caring and brave person I know. I wish I was better with words so that you would know exactly what I'm feeling right now, but that's why I wanted to give you this today. So that you might always remember to shape your name the way you have thus far, to fight for what you know is right and to never give up on what and who you love." For several moments, they sat in silence once more, Alec completely at a loss as to how to respond.

Eventually, he moved to slip the Lightwood ring on his finger, reveling in the satisfying way in which the ring, enchanted with an ancient sort of magic, changed its size so that it fit Alec's finger perfectly. To say that he was touched by his father's words would have been a gross understatement, and Alec was still trying to figure out how to respond when Robert continued speaking once more. "One last thing," he said, his words slowing as though he wasn't quite sure of the right way to phrase the next thing he wanted to say. "There's honestly no reason for you to go to this next meeting," Robert admitted, his tone hinting at the amusement he felt as he thought of how the Clave was getting nowhere in the same way they usually got nowhere even in the most important of matters. "The Clave is just going to keep talking in circles like they have for the past two weeks. Why don't you go ahead and go home to Magnus? I know you have to be missing him, so I already arranged for a portal to be made." At that, Alec finally moved to hug his father in the way he'd been wanting to all evening. He muttered a few thank yous before running off to grab the things he'd packed the night before, the thought of seeing Magnus already making him tingle with anticipation.  
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When there was a knock on the door, the first thing Magnus did was throw up a few extra wards. He wasn't expecting Alec to be home until much later that day as it was currently morning in New York, which meant it was early evening in Idris and the day's meetings weren't over yet. And Magnus knew that if Ragnor or James and Tessa were going to come by that day, they would have texted him at the very least to make him aware of that fact. So he made his way toward the door as quietly as possible, moving to look through the peephole just in case. After the ordeal with his father being inside his apartment, he knew he couldn't be too careful anymore. Yet when he saw Alec staring back at him through the peephole, he began to wonder if he was being tricked into opening the door. "It's really me, Magnus, my dad let me come home early because the Clave is going in very useless circles as usual." Magnus only hesitated a moment more. No one could pull off being Alec in that way; something told him that he would know if they tried to.

As soon as Magnus opened the door, he found himself wrapped up in Alec's arms, and he had to admit that it was the only thing he'd actually wanted. After spending two weeks away from Alec, it was all he could do to keep himself from holding onto Alec for the next two weeks. Magnus hadn't realized just how much he'd missed Alec until Alec was finally standing in front of him. Fire messages simply weren't the same as hearing Alec's voice and feeling Alec's arms around him. "I'm glad you're home," Magnus finally whispered into Alec's ear as he moved to shut the door before wrapping his arms around Alec as well. Before Alec could seem to respond in any way, their lips somehow found each other, and Magnus was suddenly lost in a world entirely his own. He was happy to see that all the tension between them had seemingly disappeared somewhere in the two weeks they'd spent apart. He was happy to see that the little bit of an argument they'd had seemed to be firmly in the past.

"Me too," Alec said between kisses, something that made Magnus smile against Alec's lips. Eventually, they pulled apart, and Magnus couldn't help but smile even more when he realized just how heavily both of them were breathing. "After spending two weeks in Clave meetings, I am convinced that a bunch of monkeys would have more efficiently wasted my time," Alec admitted, his annoyance hidden in no way. "All I could think about was how much I wanted to do this," Alec said before leaning back in to kiss Magnus once more, this time being far more urgent than he had first been. Magnus made no effort to resist the things that Alec was wanting, mostly because he'd spent the past two weeks wanting them as well. "I'm sorry for storming out on you," Alec said in one ragged breath when they paused for just a couple of seconds. Instead of responding with words right away, Magnus simply responded by moving in to kiss Alec once more, this time, making sure he was gentle enough that Alec knew exactly how he was feeling.

Eventually, Magnus decided that, no matter how much he wished otherwise, they likely needed to spend some time talking instead of simply making out all day. So he moved to pull Alec towards the couch, hoping that they could keep themselves apart long enough to actually hold a conversation. "We need to slow down, Alexander," Magnus said, though he regretted saying it, wishing that they could do just the opposite. "We've got all the time in the world." But even as Magnus said that, he could feel the weight of those words. Technically, they only had until Alec's eighteenth birthday. But Magnus didn't voice that. That was a thought better saved for later. At that, Alec playfully stuck his tongue out at Magnus in defiance, but they finally stayed apart long enough for Magnus to ask him how Idris had been. Magnus couldn't help but move in as close to Alec as he could get as the Shadowhunter began to recap the past couple of weeks for him. All Alec could seem to talk about was just how useless all of the meetings had really been. They'd come up with no new leads, no new information of any sort save a few pieces of information about the victims that they hadn't known before. All they'd really done was prove their competence to the Clave.

"I just can't figure out why they never tried us by the Sword," Alec said, his voice becoming distant for a moment as he began to try to figure out exactly what the Clave was up to. "If they truly questioned our loyalty or our competence, then why not just use the Sword to ensure that we couldn't lie to them? That would have made a lot more sense than spending two weeks talking in circles for no logical reason." Alec paused when Chairman Meow jumped into his lap, clearly happy to see that Alec was finally home. "But my dad thinks that all of this has something to do with the Circle," Alec continued, launching into an explanation of how there must be someone from Robert's past who wanted to frame him. When Alec was finished, they slipped into a comfortable silence, and Magnus couldn't keep himself from reaching out to take one of Alec's hands in his. He'd almost forgotten just how much Alec anchored him down and held him into place. "Do you know a werewolf named Luke Garroway?" Alec suddenly asked, his thoughts clearly leading him in an entirely different direction than their conversation had been going.

Magnus nodded, wondering why that name had crossed Alec's path. "He's the leader of the New York pack," Magnus said, quickly realizing exactly why Luke might be getting involved in Alec's life. "When he was a Shadowhunter, his name was Lucian Graymark." At that, Alec finally clarified things, telling Magnus of how Jace and Clary had met with Luke just a couple of days ago. "Makes sense," Magnus admitted, wondering why it had taken Luke so long to contact Clary after Jocelyn's disappearance. "He always was in love with Jocelyn even before she married Valentine. I'm not surprised that he's stayed in her life, even if he has seemed to lay low in Downworld until recently." Alec nodded almost reluctantly, and Magnus could see that something else was on his mind, but he was almost weary of pressing too much. The last thing he wanted was to open up into something that was bothering Alec only to make things worse when he had to admit that he couldn't help Alec with it in any way.

Before Magnus could figure out how to continue, Alec spoke up once more, the tension in his voice very apparent. "I really don't want you getting mixed up in all of this with Clary," Alec admitted, looking down at his hand in Magnus's out of embarrassment. Magnus couldn't help but laugh, knowing all too well that he was already all kinds of mixed up in the situation with Clary and Jocelyn. "It's not funny Magnus," Alec said, only causing Magnus to smile a little wider. "The more I think about it, the more I think my dad's right about the Circle being behind this. I mean, with Jocelyn being taken and someone trying to frame my dad, there's really only one logical explanation." Alec absentmindedly squeezed Magnus's hand in a way that almost seemed as though he was trying to remind himself that the warlock was sitting right beside of him. "And you and I both know that the High Warlock of Brooklyn would most certainly be one of the first on the Circle's radar if they were to make a comeback." Alec leaned into Magnus then, as if to say that he wanted to close the space between them, but whether it was more out of fear or out of love, Magnus couldn't say. "Just please be careful," Alec said, his voice more of a plea than anything else. All Magnus could think to do was move to gently kiss Alec's temple in response, hoping that the Shadowhunter would understand just how careful he had been lately.

After several moments of thought, Magnus nervously reached up to run his hand through his hair, suddenly realizing that he hadn't styled his hair or put on any makeup because he hadn't expected Alec to be home until much later that day. "If I'd known you were coming back this early, I would have put my face on and made myself look presentable," Magnus admitted, watching in anticipation as Alec turned so that they properly faced one another. He was suddenly worried about what Alec would think in an overwhelming sort of way, and he wasn't entirely sure how to deal with that at the moment. But then Alec reached up to gently move the hair out of Magnus's eyes, hair that was usually spiked up with gel or magic, whichever Magnus was feeling that day. It was then that Magnus recognized the emotion in Alec's eyes, none of which was negative in any way.

Magnus was too touched by what he saw in Alec's expression that he couldn't think of anything else to say, so he simply waited on Alec, the silence between them still a comfortable one, as it normally was. "I'm actually glad I get to see you like this for once," Alec finally said, his voice much lighter than it had been the last time he'd spoken. "I love you just as much without makeup as I do when you wear it, Magnus." At that, Magnus tried and failed to hide his smile, almost wishing that Alec didn't have this sort of power over him. "I think you sometimes forget just how gorgeous I really think you are, no matter how much makeup you're wearing," Alec continued, earning a kiss from Magnus. It was the kind of kiss that Magnus all but lived for, the kind where they both seemed to be explaining their love for one another without saying anything at all. "I like seeing you for who you really are; it's like I get my own little piece of you that the rest of the world never gets to see."

At that, Magnus felt the wave of guilt he normally felt since he'd begun hiding the whole soulmate situation from Alec, but this time, Magnus felt that there was more to it. Something was missing, but he couldn't quite pin down exactly what it was. At least, not until Alec spoke up once more. "I have a question for you that I've been thinking about for a few weeks," Alec said, and all Magnus could do was nod, slightly nervous by what Alec might ask him next. "I heard Ragnor say something about how someone with a Greater Demon as a parent would have a warlock's mark that was more subtle and less flashy in a way." Magnus knew where this was going, but he simply waited for Alec to ask his question anyways, knowing that it was inevitable. "I know that you keep it glamored all the time, but I was just wondering what your warlock's mark is." At first, Magnus had thought that he would immediately tell Alec that he wasn't comfortable with showing him his warlock's mark yet. But there was something so unbelievably gentle about Alec's voice, something so impossibly loving about him that relaxed Magnus more than he would have thought possible. And that was when Magnus realized that Alec wasn't demanding to find out as most people in Magnus's past had.

Alec was simply giving Magnus permission to share a part of him that he rarely shared with the rest of the world. He was simply giving Magnus the opportunity to do something he likely sensed that Magnus had been wanting to do for a while now. Which was the truth that Magnus didn't want to admit. He'd wanted to share that part of himself with Alec for so long that he'd simply begun to ignore it, his fear of Alec's reaction getting in the way of what he really wanted. But now that he was sitting in front of Alec, the Shadowhunters love on display in a way that rendered him speechless, Magnus felt his glamor slipping into oblivion. For centuries, Magnus had kept the glamor on his eyes so constantly that it felt more natural to have the glamor on than to take it off. But he did so anyways, revealing his yellow-green cat's eyes to Alec without the hesitation that he'd been feeling for weeks. He wasn't entirely sure just how Alec made him feel this way, as it was something that no one had ever done before, but he wasn't going to go about questioning it right in that moment.

That was mostly because he suddenly found Alec's lips pressing against his once more, more of an urgency in Alec's movements than there ever had been since they'd gotten together. As always, Magnus felt himself all but melt into Alec, his entire body tingling at the sensation of being with Alec in this way. But this time, there was so much more than that wrapped up within it that Magnus hardly knew how to respond. Thankfully, however, Magnus's body knew how to respond, and he quickly found himself becoming tangled up with Alec, unable to figure out exactly where he stopped and Alec began. Not that he really minded that feeling. There was so much he had wanted to say to Alec, so much that he had wanted to explain about his past. He'd wanted to tell Alec that the reason he'd taken to wearing the glamor was because the first person he'd ever truly loved had told him that his eyes were freakish. He'd wanted to explain to Alec just how much he hated his warlock's mark. But all of that seemed to have faded away as soon as their lips had met.

Suddenly, Magnus found himself hating his eyes a little less. Suddenly, Magnus found himself almost comfortable with that part of himself. And he knew that it was all because of Alec. He could feel the way the Shadowhunter loved him with each and every touch of Alec's. It was as though Alec was trying to write him a love letter through his body, and Magnus was hopelessly hanging onto every word. If Alec loved him like this, then why should he not learn to love himself in much the same way? Never before had Magnus felt so comfortable with his warlock's mark and what it defined him to be, but with Alec kissing him in this way, it was something that he simply couldn't help. Eventually, however, they pulled apart yet again. Though Magnus had to admit that this time it was much harder to keep himself from chasing after Alec. "You have the single most beautiful eyes I have ever seen," Alec eventually said, his voice ragged in a way that was beginning to drive Magnus absolutely insane. "Thank you, Magnus," was all he said after that, but Magnus could hear the emotion packed into it along with all the things that Alec wasn't saying.

Instead of responding, Magnus simply stood up, reaching out to help Alec up, immediately realizing that he should have seen where that decision was going to lead as he found Alec in his arms once again. Yet Magnus did nothing to fight this, as it was the only thing he wanted at the moment. Eventually, Magnus moved away from Alec ever so slightly, smiling as the Shadowhunter groaned as he tried to resist the separation. But Magnus firmly kept enough distance between them to lead Alec back to the bedroom, his heart rate inexplicably speeding up as he did so. It wasn't as though this would be anywhere near his first time if he and Alec ended up sleeping together that night. So Magnus couldn't figure out exactly why he was suddenly becoming so nervous. But then Alec reached around him to slam the bedroom door shut and then moved to pull Magnus toward the bed, and all of that fell apart around him. The only thing that mattered in that moment was Alec, and Magnus knew that he wouldn't care if Alec was the only thing that ever mattered to him for the rest of his immortal life.  
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Jace knew that something was wrong as soon as he entered his room, but he had no idea of what it was that was exactly out of place. Nothing in his room seemed to be out of place, and he would have known because of just how meticulously organized he always kept his room. But he could sense that someone had been there. Yet the only person who ever dared come in his room when he wasn't there was Alec. And Alec had been in Idris for the past two weeks, and he had only been home long enough to drop his things off before he had headed to Magnus's. Jace knew that Isabelle never would have come in without his permission, and he slowly began to wonder whether or not Simon or Clary had come in his room. But Jace couldn't come up with a reason as to why they might have needed in his room for anything at all, so he stopped in the middle of his room, his mind running through the possibilities as fast as he could make it run.

That was when Jace noticed the letter sitting neatly on his bed, folded in such a way that it proclaimed his name in a scrawling script that Jace knew he would have recognized anywhere. But he also knew that it was impossible for that letter to be there if it had been written by the person who had always written in that manner. Jace began reminding himself that his father had died when he was ten. There was no way that his father could have left him a letter, even if the handwriting did look like his in every way. There had to be some other logical explanation. He carefully opened the letter, almost expecting it to disintegrate into a hallucination at any moment. _Jonathan_ , it read on the inside, only making things all the more confusing for Jace. The only person who'd called him by his full name in years was his father, but he knew that this couldn't be his father's work. He'd watched his father die.

He looked back down at the letter, wondering if he was going insane. _I am sure you have a lot of questions already, and I am sure that you would like to speak with me on the matter. I have a couple of things that you would like, including the Mortal Sword, Jocelyn, and a plethora of answers for you regarding many different matters. Meet me at Renwick's on Roosevelt Island tomorrow at midnight and be sure to bring your parabatai and his warlock boyfriend. I am certain that I can clear up several matters for them as well. Until then, Valentine M._ Almost absentmindedly, Jace reached for his phone, dialing Alec's number without so much as looking at what he was doing. This was impossible in every single way. Not only was Jace's father dead, but so was Valentine Morgenstern. So there had to be someone out there who was playing tricks with his mind, and he wanted nothing more than for Magnus to use magic to help him figure that out. But before Alec's phone could actually ring, Jace had already hung up. Alec had just spent two weeks away from Magnus, and there was no way that Jace could justify bothering him with this at that very moment. Not when they had more than twentyfour hours to figure out what was going on. For now, Jace knew he would have to be content with what he could do on his own, so he took the letter with him to the library, determined to find every single resource the Institute had on Valentine. There was only one thing that Jace knew for certain at the moment: if Valentine Morgenstern was indeed alive, then he would stop at nothing to ensure that Valentine died as swiftly, though as painfully, as possible. Valentine had been the one to have his father killed, and Jace planned to deal out the justice that had yet to be served to Valentine.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all! So I hope you enjoy this week's chapter! I'm hoping that I can continue on a weekly schedule, but from here on out things are going to get kind of crazy for me, so please know that the schedule might be a bit dead from here on out!
> 
> Please come let me know your thoughts on the story! This chapter is a bit of a wild ride so don't have too much fun with it! If you have any questions, let me know! Can't wait to hear from y'all!

When Jace had first shown him the letter that Valentine had left for them, Alec had most certainly had reservations about the entire matter. After spending the night with Magnus, Alec hadn't arrived back at home until early morning, but Jace had immediately found him, apparently having been listening for him to get back. It didn't take long for Alec to figure out that Robert held absolutely no reservations about the identity of the letter's sender. He wholeheartedly believed that it was indeed Valentine, but Alec had begun to wonder whether or not this was due to the fact that Robert simply wanted to believe that the Circle was behind the Downworlder disappearances. That would certainly be easier to believe if Valentine was still alive. "Hold on, hold on," Alec said as Robert launched into their plan for the night's meeting with Valentine. "Before we do anything else, I'm going to call Magnus. We need to make sure this is really from Valentine before we make any moves. If it's not from Valentine, that might mean we need to change the plan." Alec tried his hardest to keep from offending his dad, but he knew he had to reign Robert in before they would actually be able to do anything of use.

"What? You miss me already?" Magnus asked when he answered the phone on the second ring. Alec couldn't help but laugh at that, knowing that Magnus certainly hadn't expected to hear from him almost as soon as he'd gotten home. "Alexander, I know last night was amazing," Magnus continued, and Alec looked down at his feet, all but praying that the sound on his phone wasn't up high enough for Jace or his father to hear what Magnus was saying. "But even I, the High Warlock of Brooklyn, as skillful as I may be, yes, even I need a break sometimes." At that, Alec snorted, refusing to meet Jace's eyes as he looked at Alec in utter confusion. Alec knew all too well that he was most likely blushing at the moment. But the most insufferable part was that he knew Magnus knew this too. Alec could very much hear it in the teasing tone of the warlock's voice, and it was enough to drive him crazy. But he forced himself to push that thought to the back of his mind, promising himself that he could revisit it after the ordeal with Valentine or whoever it really was. "I am sure, however, that I could be persuaded to take a break from taking a break if…"

At that, Alec decided he should most likely interject before Magnus could say anything else that would make Robert's eyes wider than they were at that very moment. "Magnus? Will you kindly shut up?" Alec asked, but he could hear the amusement and affection that was drenching his voice even as he said it. To his immense relief, however, Magnus did stop talking, so Alec decided to capitalize on the opportunity that it presented. "If you would really like to continue that conversation, we can do so at a later date. But right now I have a letter that was given to Jace by someone who is claiming to be Valentine Morgenstern, and I need you to track it back to its sender. We have to make sure that it's Valentine before we do anything else." Alec thought it would likely be a better option to tell Magnus that he was mentioned in the letter in person. So he simply hung up after Magnus agreed to meet them there in thirty minutes, hoping to possibly figure a few things out before Magnus ever even set foot in the Institute. "I need to look something up," Alec suddenly said, handing the letter back to Jace and all but sprinting back toward his room.

Ever since Jace had shown him the letter, Alec had been trying to figure out what Valentine might actually want with Magnus. He supposed it made sense that Valentine knew about the two of them. Valentine had clearly been watching the New York Institute for a fair bit of time, and Alec knew that it had to be pretty easy to connect the dots about the nature of his relationship with Magnus. But what didn't make sense was the thought that Valentine could have absolutely any sort of connection to Magnus that would warrant Valentine requesting that Magnus came with them to the meeting. As soon as he got to his room, Alec realized that he was in the wrong place, immediately turning around to head back in the direction he'd just came, this time heading toward the greenhouse. Just a few weeks ago, he'd been doing some reading on the Circle, trying his hardest to find a connection between the Uprising and the current situation in Downworld. But he'd forgotten that he'd left those books in the greenhouse, as that was the place he liked to do his reading. It reminded him so much of Idris that it never failed to relax him no matter what was going on around him at the moment.

After flipping through the books for several minutes, Alec realized that he could simply ask Magnus about the thing that he was searching for, but he figured that since he was already looking for it, he would just continue to search as a way to kill time until Magnus arrived. He remembered reading something about a warlock who had ruined one of Valentine's raids on a werewolf pack, and he'd been wondering if Magnus had anything to do with it, but he'd never gotten around to asking. It hadn't seemed to be that important at the time. But if Valentine and Magnus had interacted in any way, Alec was horrified to realize just how important that interaction might be. Even if Magnus had only stopped the one raid, with the way Valentine's mind seemed to work, that could have been more than enough to place Magnus on the Circle's list of people they needed to eventually take down. And if Valentine had Magnus pegged as someone he needed to get rid of, then that could mean that Magnus was in a great deal of danger if Valentine was now rising to power once more. Sighing, Alec closed the book he'd been looking through. Naturally, it only referred to the warlock as one of "high rank," which Alec knew could refer to a lot of people. He had no idea if Magnus had been the High Warlock at that time or not, but that didn't really matter either way.

Just as Alec was about to get up and return to the library to wait for Magnus, he heard footsteps coming around the path toward him, and he decided to stay right where he was. Mostly because he could already tell by the sound of the footsteps that it was Magnus coming toward him. "Find what you were looking for?" Magnus asked as soon as he came into view, motioning toward the pile of books on the ground beside of Alec. Instead of verbally replying, Alec simply nodded his head, realizing that there seemed to be something more that Magnus wanted to say. So he moved the books out of the way, motioning for Magnus to sit with him. "Alexander," Magnus eventually continued, his voice slow and careful. "That letter can't be from anyone other than Valentine," Magnus admitted, and Alec could hear just how tired he was. "If it was an imposter, they would have placed a block on the letter so that I couldn't see the sender's identity. But I was very clearly able to make out Valentine as the sender." Magnus stopped fairly abruptly, and Alec looked over at him in concern.

Alec wanted to say something, to ask Magnus a million questions, but he kept from it, feeling as though there was more that Magnus needed to get through before he would be comfortable again. "I'm afraid that nothing good is going to come from Valentine requesting that I come with you," Magnus said, the energy draining from his voice as he did so. "I'm not exactly Valentine's favorite person. Especially not since I was one of the only Downworlders powerful enough and brave enough to stand up to him at all costs." Alec took that opportunity to ask Magnus if he had been the one to stop Valentine's raid on the werewolf pack, though he felt he knew the answer already. "Yes, that was me," Magnus admitted, though he did so a bit reluctantly. "That was the last time I ever spoke with him, but he promised me that day that I would one day pay for what I'd done. When word got out that he was dead, I'd never been more relieved. But apparently that was foolish of me." At that, Alec almost absentmindedly reached over to take Magnus's hand, suddenly feeling a wave of apprehension over what the night might bring.

"I don't know much about Valentine," Alec finally said, wishing that he didn't sound as worried as he felt. "But one thing I do know is that I won't let him touch you," he said, trying to erase the fear from his voice. Before he could say anything else, Magnus had already leaned over to kiss him ever so gently. So gently that Alec was almost afraid to kiss Magnus back, worried that doing so might ruin whatever was going on between them at the moment. He could feel so many things between them that he eventually stopped trying to identify them and simply focused on what was in front of him. When they pulled apart, Alec had a hard time anchoring himself to something other than Magnus. Especially when Magnus was the only thing in the world that mattered to him in that moment. Magnus shifted ever so slightly to gently place a kiss on Alec's forehead, something that touched Alec in a way that Magnus never before had. The gesture was so unimaginably gentle that Alec wasn't quite sure how to handle it. In that moment, all Alec wanted was to be with Magnus without all of the fear and worry that was currently hanging over them. "That's a promise, Magnus," he finally said after what felt like years had passed between them. He couldn't help but look at Magnus with concern, however, when he realized that Magnus's heart simply wasn't in his smile at the moment.

"Alexander," Magnus said, his voice softer and lower than Alec ever remembered hearing it. "There's something that I need to tell you," he said. Alec could sense the hesitation and worry within Magnus's voice, so he did his best to look understanding and comforting. "You're going to get mad about it, but please, Alexander, just promise me you'll hear me out completely." All Alec could think to do was nod, not trusting himself to talk, knowing that his words could likely drain Magnus of the courage he was currently drawing on. When Magnus didn't continue right away, Alec simply gave his hand a gentle squeeze, wishing more than anything that he could help Magnus through the anxiety that was currently written in every line of his face. Though Alec couldn't figure out what Magnus would have to be so worried about. He couldn't think of anything that Magnus could tell him that would make him as angry as Magnus seemed to think it would.

Just as Magnus looked as though he was going to continue, however, their moment was crushed as Jace rushed in. "Sorry to interrupt," he immediately said, stumbling over the words ever so slightly as he hurried to tell them whatever it was that he'd come to talk about. "But there's been another death, and Luke is requesting that you be the first one to look at the body," he continued, pointedly talking to Magnus, his sense of urgency only increasing. "He said that this death isn't like the others. They can clearly see the cause of death is the werewolf's slit throat, and it seems as though the murderer left something specifically for you, though Luke won't tell anyone what it is." At that, Magnus sighed and lifted himself from the ground, dusting himself off as best he could before reaching to help Alec up. At first, Alec wanted to ask Jace if they could have a couple more minutes alone. But then he realized that whatever Magnus needed to tell him could wait. Right now, the most important thing was stopping these deaths. They could worry about their love life at a later date.  
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Magnus was entirely sure that he had never been so relieved to return to the Institute as he was in that very moment. He'd known as soon as he'd seen the body that his father had been behind the murder, though Magnus knew all too well that this didn't mean that they'd been behind the other Downworlder murders. The note that Luke had shown him had only backed up what he already knew. Reluctantly, Magnus had kept the note from everyone else. Its contents were between him and his father, but that hadn't kept him from revealing Asmodeus's involvement with the werewolf's death. After several hours of going back and forth as to why Asmodeus would choose to reveal himself now, Magnus was all too relieved to get back to the Institute so that they could begin focusing on the mission in front of them. As if his father wasn't enough to deal with, now the situation with Valentine was quickly becoming a volatile thing that Magnus couldn't hope to contain in any way. Not to mention the fact that he'd finally worked up the courage to tell Alec about their soulmate situation, but now he could see no chance to actually finish that conversation until after they'd met with Valentine. As soon as they'd gotten back to the Institute, Alec had run off with Jace and Isabelle to get ready for the mission, leaving Magnus in Alec's room with nothing to do other than snoop around or take a nap.

And since Magnus knew that snooping around was the absolute last thing he could do if he ever wanted a healthy relationship with Alec, he resigned himself to attempting to take a nap and hoping for the best. Lately, he'd been feeling a bit better physically, so he was beginning to hope that the side effects of his bond with Alec were letting up, at least for the time being. But Magnus also knew that this was the calm before the storm, and that was a thought that he couldn't seem to get out of his mind as he tried to fall asleep in the strangeness of Alec's room. The problem was that Alec's room was only strange to him in the sense that it was a place that was new to him. But Magnus could almost feel Alec's presence in the room, a presence that made the room unbelievably comfortable to him. And the next thing Magnus knew, Alec was gently shaking him awake, the young Shadowhunter standing over him already dressed in his gear for the mission they had before them. "Did you have a nice nap?" Alec asked, his tone only slightly teasing, as he was clearly too worried about the rest of the night to put much into it.

As Magnus moved to get up, he did so fast enough to catch Alec in a kiss before the Shadowhunter moved away from him. "It would have been much better if you had been here with me," Magnus teased, but he quickly realized that his heart wasn't in it either. Before he could say anything else, Alec threw what looked like a vest at him, and it didn't take long for Magnus to realize that it was a piece of Shadowhunter gear. "Let me guess," he said as he moved to get up from Alec's bed so that he could pull the gear on. "You want me to wear this so I'm better protected against whatever Valentine might try tonight," he said, making it more of a statement than a question; he already knew the truth of the matter. Alec nodded anyways, giving him a look that said he was not to argue about it. So Magnus simply pulled the gear on and followed Alec out of his room, already wishing that they could turn around before they'd even so much as left the Institute. They'd decided to portal to Renwick's, and Magnus made quick work of that task, so before he knew it, he was standing next to Alec and Isabelle, watching as Jace and Clary took the lead as the portal closed behind them.

They'd decided to limit the number of people who met with Valentine, but Magnus still wasn't entirely sure that this had been the best of ideas. They didn't even know what Valentine wanted yet, much less what he had planned for the night. But Magnus followed the Shadowhunters regardless of all of that, knowing that it was the only option he had. He couldn't help but smile as the Shadowhunters "did their thing" before entering Renwick's, securing the perimeter and doing ridiculous things like hiding behind walls until they were sure the area was clear. Before they'd even fully set foot on Roosevelt Island, Magnus had made sure that nothing was amiss as far as any demonic presences or magic traps that might be triggered. It seemed to him as though there were only two people in the entirety of Renwick's at the moment, but Magnus knew all too well that there were ways of covering up people who did not wish to be seen. In the end, he still lead the Shadowhunters to the correct room, too impatient to wait for them to figure things out on their own.

Walking into the room, Magnus immediately knew that something was wrong. At first, he couldn't exactly figure out how he knew this, but then his senses honed in on the fact that Alec was staring at the man in front of them as though he'd seen a ghost, his entire body on high alert. So Magnus followed Alec's gaze, only to find himself all the more confused. The man staring back at them was most certainly Robert Lightwood, but that was absolutely impossible. They had left Robert at the Institute when they'd gone to meet with Luke, and that was when Magnus realized that he hadn't actually seen Robert when they'd gone back. That must have been the moment that Alec realized much the same thing because he was the first one to speak up. "Dad?" he asked, his voice breaking the silence in the eeriest of ways. "Don't tell me that you've been lying to my face this entire time. Tell me anything but that." It was almost as though Alec was pleading with his father, and Magnus wanted nothing more than to reach out and comfort him, but he remained where he was, knowing that now was not the time to do anything of the sort.

"What?" Robert said, and it almost seemed as though he was genuinely confused. He looked down at himself for a moment and then some sort of realization flashed across his face. "Oh dear, I'm sure this is very confusing for all of you. I was out on an errand and I forgot to change back; allow me to fix that," he said before reaching for his stele. As soon as Magnus saw the rune that the man was deactivating, he knew that the man before them was not Robert. But what he couldn't figure out was exactly who would have benefited from disguising themselves as Robert of all people. But then the glamour was gone and Magnus knew exactly who he was looking at, but the rest of the pieces simply wouldn't fall into place. "Oh come now," Andrew Lightwood said, directing this more toward Alec than anyone else. "You don't recognize your own grandfather?" The silence that followed this question was deafening as the Shadowhunters tried to come to terms with what they were seeing. Robert had always looked just like his father, and time had done nothing to change that. It was very easy to see that Andrew was telling the truth, even if they had assumed Andrew was dead.

But then again, Magnus took the time to remind himself that they'd also assumed Valentine was dead, and it was becoming increasingly clear that these assumptions were far from correct. "You're the one who's been framing Dad," Alec said, though it was not a question in any way. Clearly the pieces were fitting together for Alec much more quickly than they were for Magnus. "Both you and Valentine faked your own deaths during the Uprising, and you've been working for him since then, gathering strength and power and waiting to make your move once more," Alec continued, his voice ice cold. Magnus wasn't sure that he'd ever seen Alec like this, iced over in a way that made it seem as though he was almost numb to the world at the moment. "You've been glamouring yourself as Dad because getting him on the Clave's radar was a good way to keep yourself off of it." There was no emotion in Alec's voice anymore. "Have I missed anything?" he asked, all but daring Andrew to deny the things that he'd stated.

For a moment, Andrew simply ran his eyes over all of them, something that sent chills down Magnus's spine. His memories of Andrew were not fond ones, but it seemed as though time had only made Andrew much colder and more vicious than he had been the last time Magnus had seen him. "Oh Alexander," Andrew replied, his voice the fake sort of sympathetic that Magnus generally associated with psychopaths. "There is so much that you are missing." At that, Andrew's eyes landed on Magnus, but this time, they stayed there, his gaze more of an accusation than his words had been. That was when Magnus's mind began working in overdrive. It certainly seemed as though Andrew knew that they were soulmates, but even if Magnus believed that Andrew could have somehow found out, how could he possibly know that Magnus knew this fact but Alec didn't? The only people who knew about that were Ragnor, Raphael, James, and Tessa. And he highly doubted that Andrew had had any sort of contact with them that would have lead him to that conclusion.

Magnus began to wonder if Andrew was simply making an assumption based on things that he had learned from watching the Lightwoods, as he had clearly been doing for some time now. But there was so much more to it than that, and Magnus knew that he was missing the key to it all. And that was when Magnus realized that Andrew wasn't accusing him at all. Andrew thought that neither of them were aware that they were soulmates, and he was simply enjoying watching them toy with the idea of it. So when Alec turned to look at him, Mangus simply gave him a look that told him that they couldn't give Andrew the reaction he was looking for. If they pretended to be uninterested by Andrew's insinuations, that would only infuriate him, which was exactly what they wanted to do. "Stop playing with them, Andrew," a voice behind them called out, and Magnus had to restrain himself to keep from hurling the worst spell he could think of at Valentine Morgenstern. "You'll have plenty of time to catch up with your grandchildren at a later date," Valentine continued, his voice all but making Magnus sick. Just as Magnus began to turn to face Valentine, he found Alec standing in front of him, seraph blade drawn and pointed directly at the Shadowhunter before them.

It took a moment for Magnus to right himself. He couldn't remember Alec moving in front of him, but the Shadowhunter must have moved much faster than his mind could keep up with because there he was now, staring at Valentine as though he was daring the other man to try something. Without saying another word, Valentine simply nodded at Andrew, but it was very clear that this was a signal that Andrew was being dismissed. For a moment, Magnus thought that Andrew was going to resist, to continue playing whatever game it was that he was attempting to play with them. But then he seemed to think better of it, to remember that he was dealing with Valentine, and he simply inclined his head and stepped toward the door. "Of course," Andrew said without turning around, his voice full of a chilling sort of mischief. "Wouldn't want to give our darling soulmates the wrong impression, now would we?" he asked, and that was when Magnus felt himself shut down. He closed his eyes for several seconds and allowed himself the time he needed to reset and regroup. From here, he knew that it wouldn't take Alec very much to figure things out. Magnus was very aware of the fact that neither Jace nor Clary had a soulmate, not to mention the fact that Isabelle's soulmate was Simon. That only left himself and Alec. It didn't take a genius to take the next step toward the truth.

When Magnus opened his eyes, he wasn't surprised to see that Valentine was watching him with open curiosity, but he was very thankful to see that Alec's eyes were still trained on Valentine. "What do you want with us?" Jace finally asked, turning the attention away from everything that had just been said. "You said that you have many things that we want, but what I want to know is what you want from us. You've pretended to be dead for years, so if you're showing your hand now, there must be something pretty important that you're trying to get out of us." Magnus had to admit that Jace had a point, but he wasn't entirely sure he wanted to hear what Valentine wanted. It was very clear that whatever Valentine wanted had something to do with his bond to Alec, and that was what terrified Magnus more than anything at the moment. He could deal with Alec's anger when he realized that Magnus had known for a while. But what he couldn't deal with was the thought that Valentine's plan might include them and their bond, something he would do absolutely anything to protect. For a moment, Valentine simply looked over them all, and somehow, this was much more chilling than when it had been Andrew doing so. "Fine, if you're not going to respond, then allow me to ask you a question of my own," Jace said, his voice much more demanding than Magnus would have thought possible. "Why did you forge my father's handwriting in the letter you sent me?"

Magnus hadn't been aware of this for himself, but looking at Valentine's expression, it was easy to see that Valentine's plan had been several decades in the making. "Jonathan," Valentine said in the most condescending tone Magnus had ever heard, the sort of tone that Magnus had actually thought Valentine reserved exclusively for Downworlders. "I thought I taught you better than that. Have you not put the puzzle together yet?" If Magnus thought that he had been confused before, he was beyond confused now. Valentine was certainly acting as though he was Jace's father, but everything within Magnus told him that this was wrong. Jocelyn had once confided in him about the nature of her first child: a child with such a demonic nature that she had been relieved to find his bones in the remains of the Fairchild manor after it had burned down. Jace was nothing like the child that Jocelyn had described. All Magnus could do was watch as Valentine took out his own stele and activated the very same rune that Andrew had just deactivated. And suddenly Michael Wayland was standing in front of them, and Magnus slowly began fitting everything together, even before Valentine, wearing Michael Wayland's face, launched into an explanation of his own.

Apparently, Michael had never been Jace's father, and somehow, that seemed fitting to Magnus, but even more so when Valentine explained that Jace was a Herondale. Magnus mentally kicked himself for not seeing it before. He was just like William in almost every way. "After I saved you from your dying mother and faked my own death, I thought that it was fitting that I raise you," Valentine continued, his voice a bit too fatherly for Magnus's liking. "We were two outcasts, after all. But I knew that if something ever happened and we had to be separated, it was better that you didn't know my true identity, so that is why I lead you to believe that you were Michael Wayland's son. It was easier for you that way, Jonathan." Magnus held back a smile when Alec gave a very indignant snort at this. If there was one thing that they all knew, it was certainly that Valentine had never done anything for the good of anyone other than himself. "When you were ten, I sent you to live with the Lightwoods because I knew that you would be safer there. With everything that I'd begun planning, I knew I needed to get you out of harm's way." Alec was shaking his head now, and Magnus didn't need to see the Shadowhunter's face to know that he was likely rolling his eyes at what Valentine was saying. If there was one thing Magnus knew at the moment, it was that Valentine had never cared for Jace's safety, even if he had raised Jace himself; he'd likely sent Jace away because Jace was getting in the way of the things he'd planned.

Valentine went on to talk to Clary then, and Magnus had to admit that he was beginning to space out a bit. He had no idea what was going to come next, and that was the one thing that he could focus on at the moment. He already knew Jocelyn's side of the story, but he wasn't surprised to hear that Valentine was making her out to be the villain. When Jocelyn had discovered that she was pregnant with a second child, Clary, she had run from Valentine, afraid that he would do the same things he had done to their first child, though Magnus had never concretely found out what that had been. Jocelyn had never been sure of Valentine's involvement in her first son's demonic nature, but she had certainly speculated for years. And she had taken the Mortal Cup with her, though that was something that Magnus hadn't known until Valentine very aggressively brought it up, quickly making it clear that the Cup was the entire reason they were standing before him at the moment. "You see, Jocelyn took the Cup from me, and I have had quite the time getting its location out of her seeing as she saw it fit to taking a sleeping potion before I could ever even speak to her. But never fear," Valentine continued, pointedly talking to Clary in a way that made Magnus uneasy. "She entrusted the location to the one person she still trusted, and that, Jonathan, is the answer to your first question."

Magnus suddenly began to feel sick, but he knew that this wasn't the kind of sickness he'd been experiencing lately. This came from the thought of what Valentine might do with the Mortal Instruments. In his letter, he had claimed to already have the Sword, which made sense given the fact that the Clave hadn't used the Sword in their investigations. Getting ahold of the Cup would put him in a position of power so great that Magnus knew it could likely mean the end of the Clave as they knew it. "You see, I have Jocelyn, but I cannot let her go until I am holding the Mortal Cup. But you, Clarissa, you have its location locked inside your mind. The joy, however, is that there's more to it than that," Valentine continued, this time turning back to Alec for the first time since he'd entered. "Though I do not know the Cup's exact location, I have discovered from one of Jocelyn's closest friends that the Cup is protected by a very ancient sort of spell. One that only a pair of soulmates can undo." Magnus felt his heart hit the floor as the puzzle finally began to look like something recognizable. This was the reason Valentine wanted them here. However he had found out about the two of them didn't matter at the moment, not when Alec was turning to look at him with the deepest of confusion in his eyes.

Alec was shaking his head, but that didn't matter because Valentine was already laughing. "When I found out about the two of you, I simply couldn't believe my luck. Jocelyn was always a hopeless romantic, so it makes sense that she would have chosen this particular spell to protect the Cup. I trust you know it well, Bane," Valentine said, but Magnus refused to react in any way. He did, indeed, know the spell that Valentine was referring to. He hadn't seen the spell used on anything in hundreds of years. It was something that only the most powerful of warlocks could place, its power so great that it was hard to control in and of itself. "It requires the blood of a pair of soulmates in order to engage the spell that will release the Cup from wherever it might be," Valentine unnecessarily explained, and Magnus could see just how much he was enjoying this. Alec was looking back and forth between Valentine and Magnus, clearly still trying to figure out exactly what was going on, and Magnus was holding on to the hope that Alec simply didn't believe what Valentine was saying. "I'm sure you can imagine my joy when I found out that a pair of soulmates was helping Clarissa. That will make it all the easier when you find the Cup for me."

Magnus wanted nothing more than to walk away from Valentine in that moment. Of course they weren't going to give him the Cup even if they somehow found and retrieved it. He was the last person they would give it to. The notion that they would ever willingly give him the Cup was utterly ridiculous. But Alec was focused on something else entirely at the moment. "That's impossible," he said, though Magnus could tell from his tone that he was beginning to doubt the impossibility of what Valentine was saying. "We would have figured that out already," he insisted, and that's when his eyes landed on Magnus once more and they remained where they were. For a moment, Magnus thought that Alec was about to launch into an interrogation of his own. He saw the doubt flash through Alec's eyes, and he knew beyond any doubt that Alec was putting things together. "You're lying," he spat at Valentine, whirling on the Shadowhunter once more. It tore at Magnus's heart to see Alec like this. He so badly wanted to keep from believing that Magnus would lie to him that he was denying the one thing that would likely make him the happiest, the one thing that would make the most sense.

"Am I?" Valentine asked, which only made Magnus want to strangle him even more than he had wanted to before. "Or are you simply lying to yourself, Alexander?" As Valentine asked this, Alec had been turning back toward Magnus once more, and when the other Shadowhunter said his name, Magnus saw a flash of anger shoot through Alec so violently that he was almost terrified of Alec himself. It didn't take long for Magnus to understand that Alec was thinking of the conversation they'd had about Magnus's own use of Alec's full name. He turned back to Valentine then, his anger only growing by the second. Magnus reached up to place a hand on Alec's arm, but just as his fingers brushed against Alec's skin, the Shadowhunter pulled away from him in a way that he never had. Alec hadn't said a word, but the message was very clear. "If you don't believe me, then why don't you take that seraph blade and cut your own hand?" Valentine asked, his amusement only growing with every passing second. "If I am lying, then there's no reason that the cut should show up on Magnus as well." Magnus knew this was the most logical thing that Valentine had said all night, but it was also the thing that he feared the most.  
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Alec looked down at the seraph blade in his hand, wondering if this was really the best thing to do at the moment. He'd seen so much doubt and fear in Magnus's eyes that he'd begun to wonder if the warlock had already known that they were soulmates. Could that have been what Magnus had wanted to tell him earlier that day? But that didn't make any sense. Alec simply couldn't figure out why Magnus would ever hide something like that from him. So he refused to believe it until Magnus admitted it for himself. But the problem was that Valentine was still insisting that Magnus was his soulmate, and the doubt that he was feeling was too overwhelming to do anything about. He knew that Valentine wasn't going to stop until he got what he wanted, and the only way to figure out the truth with utter certainty was for one of them to be injured. Alec hated admitting that to himself, but he knew it was true. So he studied Magnus's face as he lifted the seraph blade, trying to get a sense of whether or not Magnus already knew one way or the other, but Magnus's face was now absolutely blank, and if Alec didn't know any better, he might have said that it was as though Magnus was trying to hide his true feelings.

In the end, Alec knew that there was only one thing to do, one thing that would move them forward and get them away from Valentine as quickly as possible. So he brought the blade to his hand and watched as Magnus winced in pain, the same thin cut appearing on his hand just moments after it was made on Alec's. For several moments, the only thing that Alec could do was stare at Magnus's hand, the blood slowly welling up in much the same way as it was on his own hand. Before that moment, there had been so much running through Alec's mind, but all of that was suddenly silenced when he realized the truth of the situation. Even if Magnus had been hiding things from him, they were still soulmates. Which was the only thing Alec had wanted for weeks. So even if Magnus had been lying for weeks, even if Alec was about to become very angry with his soulmate, he could still choose to focus on the fact that he was getting angry at his soulmate, the one person in the world who had been made for him. Very slowly, Alec sheathed his seraph blade, reaching for his stele, unable to stand the blood on Magnus's hand any longer. Before he could get to his stele, however, Magnus had already grabbed his hand, urging him to wait. "No, here," he said, quickly healing Alec with a flick of his wrist. And it was in that flick of the wrist that Alec saw everything he needed to see. Magnus couldn't hide it, not at a time like this. He had certainly known what would happen before the blade ever came near Alec's hand.

Alec watched in silence as the cut on Magnus's hand disappeared as well. He knew the enormity of the situation simply hadn't sunk in yet. He knew that later on he would likely be angry and hurt. But right now, he was staring back at his soulmate, a fact that hadn't truly registered with him yet, and his soulmate just so happened to be the person he loved most in the world. A person who had likely been lying to him for weeks, yet a person who was in danger at the moment, seeing as he was on the radar of likely the most dangerous person in the world. "Now that that's cleared up," Valentine said, the amusement drained from his voice. Alec had once read that psychopaths became bored easily, and he wondered if that was what was happening to Valentine at the moment. But he also knew that Valentine would always turn the attention back to what he wanted, no matter the cost. "Allow me to clarify for you what is going to happen next." Alec wanted to scream at him that they would never give the Cup to him. He was a madman if he thought they would. But then Alec realized that they were, indeed, dealing with a madman, so he kept his mouth shut and simply held on to Magnus's hand as the warlock began to move away from him. He knew that he was numb to the situation at the moment, but Alec also knew that the last thing he wanted was for Valentine to drive a wedge between the two of them.

"The Clave is just as laughable as they have ever been," Valentine continued, and Alec hated to admit that he agreed with that. "I wasn't surprised to hear that your father was the first person to connect the current Downworld situation to the Circle," he admitted, and Alec's mind began running in overdrive. "But I have to admit that I was disappointed to learn that he believes I am responsible for both the disappearances and the deaths that have recently occurred. Robert should know how it pains me to take lives unnecessarily." At that, it was Magnus's turn to snort, and Alec couldn't blame him for it. That was the most ridiculous lie Alec had ever heard. "These deaths have not been my doing, but I can promise that more disappearances are to follow. But the five of you can do your part to stop them, of that I am sure," he said, and Alec's anger flared up once more. Valentine had been taking innocent children for reasons that were still unclear; he deserved justice, not the Mortal Cup. "These children that I have taken are still alive, but they will not be for much longer. Find and bring me the Mortal Cup, and all of this can quickly come to an end. For every day that the Cup is not in my hands, one of them will die and I will take another in their place." Alec shuddered at the thought, gripping Magnus's hand even tighter than he had before. What if they couldn't figure out how to find the Cup? How many children would Valentine kill before he realized that they were incapable of finding it?

Alec wanted to interject that question: what would he do if they couldn't find it? What would he do if they tried their hardest and came up with nothing? But something kept him from it, something that told him that Valentine would not take well to those kinds of questions. "Refuse to give me the Cup?" Valentine said, phrasing it as a question as though he knew that all of them were thinking it. "And many, many people, Shadowhunters included, will sacrifice their lives because the five of you foolishly refused me. Not to mention that I have given you another incentive to get the Cup to me in a timely manner." Now he was talking exclusively to Clary once more. "I think you will find that your friend Simon wandered into the wrong part of town tonight, Clarissa. And I think that you will find that he is soon to be much different than the Simon you have come to know and love. Get the Cup to me, and then maybe we can talk about getting Simon back to you." With that, Valentine turned to leave the room, and Alec was slightly surprised when none of them made to move after him. It was as though they all knew the seriousness of the situation. Valentine was not someone who could be ignored or challenged, not in a matter like this. They would have to come up with a plan to take Valentine down instead of simply giving him exactly what he wanted. But that would take time, and that was time they didn't have. Not when Valentine would be killing more people every single day. Not when Valentine had Simon.

When Alec seemed sure that no one was going to speak unless he did, he turned back to Magnus, finally letting go of Magnus's hand. "Send them back to the Institute," he said, nodding his head toward his siblings and Clary. He glanced at Isabelle, but he wasn't surprised to find that his sister was just as composed as ever, even with the news of her soulmate's kidnapping bearing down on her. "We need to talk," he finished, and it was then that he could hear the anger seeping back into his voice. He had known it was coming, had known that it would be impossible to stop it once it began, so he simply watched as Magnus made a portal for the others to go through. Eventually it was just the two of them, and Magnus looked as though he wanted to say something, but before he could so much as open his mouth, Alec stepped through the portal and into Magnus's apartment, turning back to watch as Magnus followed him through and closed the portal behind them. "How long have you known?" he asked as soon as Magnus was finished with the magic. When Magnus didn't immediately respond, that only served to spike his anger, so Alec continued. "I know you, Magnus; I could see it in your eyes. You knew what would happen before that blade ever so much as touched my skin. So tell me: how long have you known?"

For several agonizing moments, Magnus simply stared back at him, and Alec began to think that Magnus was going to deny that he had ever known before tonight. "I figured it out the night that Isabelle got hurt," he finally replied, his voice barely above a whisper. "I found out just before your father walked in on us kissing. I was going to tell you, I swear, but then you had so much to deal with and I didn't want to make the matter worse. And then I was going to tell you today, before Jace interrupted us. Alexander, I never meant to hurt you." Alec wanted to believe that more than he wanted anything else at the moment. But he couldn't keep himself from focusing on the fact that Magnus had held onto this secret for weeks. The more he thought about it, the more jumbled his mind became, the deeper the storm within him raged. Alec knew from Magnus's expression that the rage he was feeling was all too evident in his own expression at the moment, but he also knew that there was nothing he could truly do to change that. Not when he was growing angrier with every passing second. Not when Magnus was reaching out to take his hand and he found himself backing away from the warlock for the second time that day.

The pain in Magnus's eyes was all too noticeable, and Alec felt a twinge of guilt at the thought that he was the one causing it. But he kept his hand away from Magnus's regardless, his own pain and anger getting the better of him. "What I don't understand is how you figured it out," he replied, noticing that his voice was much less harsh this time around. "I didn't get hurt that night, so you wouldn't have been hurt either," Alec continued, and for a moment, he thought that Magnus was going to completely shut down. It took Alec a minute to realize that anything had changed, but then he saw what Magnus was trying to show him. Magnus had let down whatever glamour he had been using, and Alec could now see the runes and scars that covered Magnus's skin. Alec knew without a doubt that they were the very same runes and scars that covered his own skin as well. There was no mistaking the pattern, the very pattern that he'd been carving into himself for years. Alec blinked as hard as he could as he felt tears well up when a wave of anger hit him so forcefully that he couldn't quite see the world the same way he had just moments before.

"I didn't really get a good look at your runes until that night," Magnus admitted, not meeting Alec's eyes. Alec began to wonder if this was because his wards were now down, but he didn't dwell on it for too long. That could be addressed at a later date. Before Magnus could continue, Alec voiced the thought that this was why Magnus had kept him from healing himself earlier, the reason Magnus had been so insistent that he not use an iratze. "Yes," Magnus agreed, seemingly growing more tired with every second. "But this time it wasn't about you knowing. It was about Valentine knowing. I'm the only person in recorded history that this has ever happened to. I couldn't exactly give Valentine the leverage of knowing that as well," Magnus explained, and Alec had to admit that this made sense. But the problem was that he didn't want it to make sense. He wanted a reason to be as angry as he was at the moment. He wanted something solid that he could direct his anger at, and Magnus wasn't making it any easier. "Alec, you know I love you, right?" Magnus asked, and Alec had to pause a moment and separate himself from the anger he was feeling to carefully assess that question.

Alec knew in his heart that Magnus hadn't done any of this to hurt him. His heart was screaming at him to simply let things go and reach over to hug Magnus like he truly wanted to, but his mind was screaming at his heart to shut up. "You looked me in the eye and you lied to me, Magnus," Alec said, completely ignoring both Magnus's question and everything his heart was trying to tell him. "Did it not bother you when I asked you what would happen when I found my soulmate? Were you not bothered in the slightest by the fact that I was so scared and upset then?" He waited for a moment, but it was abundantly clear that Magnus wasn't going to respond. "Did it not bother you when you looked at me and lied to me, knowing exactly what you were doing? You had so many chances, Magnus. There were so many times I poured my heart out to you and you remained silent. I just want to know why. Why would you do this? Why would you keep something like that from me for so long?" Alec realized that his voice sounded more like a plea than anything else, but he was past caring. He wanted Magnus to hear the pain in his voice.

When Magnus began shaking his head, that only made Alec's anger that much more apparent. It was as though the anger was eating away at his heart; the pain was the only thing he could focus on at the moment. "At first, I didn't tell you because of everything that you were going through. It didn't seem fair to throw something else at you." Alec wasn't sure if it was remorse or fear he was hearing in Magnus's voice, but he wasn't sure that it mattered anymore. "But with every day that went by, I asked myself the same question. I don't know why, Alexander. I had every opportunity, you're right about that." Alec couldn't help but snort at that. None of this was making sense, not when it came down to it, and all he wanted at the moment was for something to make sense. He just wanted the world to right itself again. He just wanted to feel at home in Magnus's arms once more. But Alec could also see that this wasn't going to be happening any time soon, and that was enough to break his heart in and of itself. "I don't know," Magnus finally concluded, all the energy drained from his voice.

At that, Alec turned back toward the door, unable to take any more of the conversation. "If you honestly don't know why you have spent weeks lying to me, then I don't know what I'm still doing here," he said before exiting the apartment without looking back. He reached to make sure the door didn't slam behind him, and then suddenly he found himself sitting on the stairs that lead to Magnus's apartment, his head in his hands and his world falling down around him. Alec wanted nothing more than to turn around and go back in the apartment and fall into Magnus's arms, but he knew that wasn't an option. Not after everything that had happened that day. So he allowed himself a minute to simply fall apart, not at all surprised when he felt a couple of tears on his hands. But a minute was all he gave himself. There were people who needed him right that moment. Isabelle's soulmate had been taken. There were children who might die soon if they didn't find the Cup. So Alec ignored the tears and pushed himself off the stairs, beginning the walk home, knowing that he only had one option, and that was to keep moving forward no matter how much he wished he could do anything else.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! This is up a day early, and here's a little about why! So here's a few updates on my life as it pertains to my writing: Next week, I will be working my church's youth conference (which starts on Wednesday the 9th, aka my birthday!), and I will likely be helping every single day/night. The week after that is when I move back into my dorm and I begin fall training for my job which transitions right into the start of classes.
> 
> All of that being said, this is the point in the year where I must admit that I will be surprised if I am able to keep a weekly schedule. I apologize for that, but my writing isn't a priority when it comes to me working and getting my education. SO I will try my hardest to write as often as I can, but I am also working on some completely original things at the moment, so I can't tell you how often I will be able to post from here on out. Please be understanding with this, as this is not a job of mine and will not be related to my future career. I greatly enjoy writing like this, but it's something that's on the sidelines, so I cannot always make time for it in my weekly schedule.
> 
> BUT please continue to let me know what you think of this story! I have a lot in store, and I would love to hear your opinions on it! Thank you all for the love and support; I wouldn't be writing if it weren't for you all! Hope you enjoy this chapter, please let me know, and I'll see y'all as soon as possible!

"You mean you can't think of anywhere on earth that your mother might have hidden the Mortal Cup?" Alec heard as soon as he got near the Institute's library. He sighed, considering turning around and going back to his room, but he could hear the urgency and anger in Isabelle's voice and he knew that he couldn't simply leave his little sister alone. Not when she sounded more scared than Alec could remember ever hearing her. He entered the library to see that Isabelle and Clary had clearly been fighting while he'd been at Magnus's, which he had to admit wasn't something that entirely surprised him. He was becoming aggravated with Clary himself, and he knew that with Simon gone, Isabelle's stress level would be through the roof. But what did surprise Alec was the fact that he could clearly see tears drying on Isabelle's cheeks when he walked in. As soon as she saw him, however, she reached up to wipe the last of them away, very pointedly looking away from him as soon as she realized he'd seen the tears. "She wouldn't just leave it anywhere, Clary. You have to know something."

Alec winced a bit when he heard the desperation in Isabelle's voice. The last thing he wanted was for her to feel the way he was currently feeling. "What Izzy is trying to say, Clary," Alec began as he inched into the library and the situation before him. "Is that your mother wouldn't have left the Cup unprotected without giving you some sort of clue as to where to find it." Alec momentarily considered telling everyone to get some rest, but then he remembered the fact that lives were on the line, and he immediately reconsidered. "Jace, why don't you and Clary go send for the Silent Brothers? Maybe they can find something in Clary's mind that they couldn't before she knew more about herself and her past." He couldn't help but give Jace a very pointed look, as if to say that if Jace left Clary in the library with them that it would not bode well for anyone.

As soon as they were out of the library, Isabelle fell onto the couch, her shoulders slumping in a way that tore at Alec's heart. "I would know if Simon wasn't alright, wouldn't I?" she asked, her voice betraying the doubt that was clearly beginning to well up within her. "I know that Valentine said Simon would be different, but if he'd done something to harm Simon, I'd know it." It almost sounded as though Isabelle was pleading with the world, trying to convince herself that no harm would come to Simon while he was in Valentine's grasp. Alec wanted nothing more than to be able to comfort his sister, but he simply didn't know how. He felt as though he could hear her heart breaking, and that was enough to break his as well. "It's stupid," she continued, her voice growing ever weaker. "I don't even love him yet but I've never been more scared than I am right now," Isabelle confessed, and Alec moved to sit down beside of her.

"That's the furthest thing from stupid that I've ever heard, Izzy," he said, trying to keep his own voice as calm as possible. "He's your soulmate," Alec stated, as if that cleared up everything. Yet he knew in his heart that it didn't. Magnus might be his soulmate, but that simple fact couldn't erase the pain that he was currently feeling over the warlock. "You have every right to be terrified even if you don't love him. He's connected to you in ways we don't even understand. Just the knowledge that he's your soulmate is more than enough." Alec wished he could meet his sister's eyes, but he knew that she didn't need to see the pain that was likely living there at the moment. He wished things could be as simple as that. He wished that being soulmates could fix all the world's problems, but that simply wasn't how the world worked. At least, not at that particular moment.

Isabelle leaned into him then, and Alec did nothing to keep her from doing so. Just having her there was a comfort, and Alec suspected that she was feeling the very same way about him. "Are you and Magnus okay?" she finally asked, the question clearly having been on her mind for some time. Alec couldn't help but look down at his hands when she asked this, his emotions suddenly taking control in a way he hadn't expected. "That bad?" Isabelle asked, her voice becoming unimaginably gentle. "Did he already know that the two of you are soulmates?" she continued, and Alec began to wonder if the truth had really been that obvious all along. He finally moved to meet Isabelle's eyes, knowing that the answer would be written all over his face.

"I finally find out that the man I love is my soulmate, only to discover that he's been lying to me for weeks," Alec eventually admitted, his words weighing down on his heart. "But that's not the worst part, Izzy," he continued, the words spilling out of him before he could stop himself. "I might be able to look past it if it wasn't so damn clear that he's still hiding things from me." From there, Alec couldn't keep himself from telling Isabelle about Magnus's runes, slightly confused as to whether he should refer to them as Magnus's or his own. He still hadn't entirely processed everything that had come to light within the past few hours, and he wished more than anything that he could take the time to do just that. But the more he thought about it, the more he remembered the look of doubt and fear in Magnus's eyes and his anger resurfaced all over again.

"I don't understand any of this any more than you do, Alec," Isabelle responded, her voice distant and thoughtful. "But there's one thing I do know," she said, a smile slowly appearing on her lips. "Not only do you and Magnus love each other more than I ever thought possible from the two of you," she continued, and Alec decided to take that as a complement instead of trying to figure out exactly what it meant. "But you're soulmates, too. And that has to count for something. I know you, and I know Magnus. And that's always going to count for something when the two of you are involved." Alec wished with everything that he had that Isabelle was right. All he'd wanted from the moment he'd stepped out of Magnus's apartment was to be in Magnus's arms once more. But he hadn't really thought that that sort of feeling could change anything. But maybe Isabelle was right. Maybe it could.

All Alec could do was move to wrap an arm around Isabelle, not wanting to admit that he still had numerous doubts and questions and fears. Just as it seemed as though she was going to respond, Jace all but burst through the door, Clary directly on his heels. "Brother Zachariah is on his way, but the Brothers didn't seem to hopeful about the situation and insisted that we likely won't make any headway tonight. It's probably best if the two of you-" Alec knew that Jace was going to suggest that they go get some rest, but Jace never got the chance to suggest anything of the sort when Isabelle swore rather loudly and immediately bent over in pain. She was clearly holding her wrist against her chest, but Alec was more focused on the fact that her other hand was searching for his, something she hadn't done since they were children. Taking her hand in his, Alec moved to kneel on the ground in front of her, frantically searching for whatever might be the problem.

Before he had time to ask, Isabelle flashed her wrist at him, and Alec could clearly see the two perfectly even puncture marks that were welling up with blood. "Alec," Isabelle said, her voice more of a plea than anything else. "There's more to it." It began to sound almost as though she was trying to catch her breath, and Alec felt the helplessness wash over him as he watched her struggle, realizing there was absolutely nothing he could do to help. He heard Clary frantically saying things to Jace about Simon, but he blocked her words out, Isabelle's pain the only thing he could stand to focus on at the moment. "It's like my heart is being ripped out of my chest," Isabelle clarified, her face overcome with pain. Alec turned back to Jace then, hoping that his parabatai would have some sort of idea of what to do, but Jace's expression mirrored Alec's own waning hope.

For what felt like hours, Alec simply held onto Isabelle's hand, her pain only increasing with every passing second. When Alec realized that tears were streaming down his little sister's face, he moved to get up, hoping to contact someone who might at least know what was going on, even if that person had to be Magnus. But Isabelle's grip on his hand only tightened and she began shaking her head as best she could through the pain and Alec froze where he was, moving to dry her tears as best he could. "Izzy," he half whispered. "We have to figure out what's going on." Even as he said it, he knew that something was terribly wrong with Simon. Isabelle wasn't one to cry when in pain. She'd been hurt on many, many missions, and Alec had seen her in pain enough to know that her tolerance for it was far beyond his own. If she was crying now, that could only mean the worst, even if it was the last thing they wanted to believe about Simon.

From the marks on Isabelle's wrist, it was clear that Simon had been bitten by a vampire. But what wasn't clear was why this might be causing Isabelle so much pain.  _Her soulmate bond is breaking,_ Brother Zachariah spoke into Alec's mind as he silently entered the library. It was very clear from the look on Isabelle's face and the looks that Clary and Jace were giving Zachariah, however, that the Brother hadn't spoken to Alec exclusively. All Alec could do was will Zachariah to continue, not trusting himself to talk at the moment.  _Not because of death, but because her soulmate seems to be turning into a Downworlder,_ Zachariah clarified, though this did nothing to ease Alec's mind. Turning Simon into a vampire certainly could have been what Valentine had been planning all along, though that made no sense in any way. Why would a man who so desperately despised Downworlders turn a mundane into one?

"That doesn't make any sense," Jace was saying, though Alec could hear the doubt that was flooding his voice. He'd never heard Jace sound so defeated, and he knew that Isabelle's pain was hurting him in ways he'd likely never admit. "Why would their bond break because of that? Downworlders and Shadowhunters are soulmates all the time," Jace insisted, his eyes flicking toward Alec. It was then that Alec saw yet another layer of fear in Jace's eyes: the fear that something like this might eventually happen to Alec. "It's not like he's dying," Jace said, and under different circumstances, Alec would have laughed when Jace realized just how stupid that phrase had been. Simon was obviously dying if he was becoming a vampire, that was sort of the point of vampires in general.

Brother Zachariah, however, didn't seem to notice this lapse in Jace's logic.  _I've seen this happen before when a Shadowhunter was turned into a werewolf,_ he explained, his voice causing Alec to shiver ever so slightly.  _I discovered then that it was because of the stress put on the bond at the time of the transformation. Their bond was forged for them with very specific souls in mind. Your sister's soulmate's soul is changing, and their bond was not designed for that to happen._ At that, Alec realized that Isabelle was crying much harder than he'd seen her cry since they were children, and his heart sank further than he had imagined it could. He moved to sit beside of her once more, wrapping his arms around her as tight as he could, moving to kiss the top of her head as she buried her face in his chest.

For years, Isabelle had dreamed of the day she would fall in love with her soulmate. She'd wanted nothing other than that very thing, and Alec knew that all too well. Yet here she was, her bond crumbling before their very eyes, and there was nothing that any of them could do to stop it. "Is there anything we can do?" Alec heard himself asking, though he knew in his very soul that there was no use in asking. When Brother Zachariah simply shook his head, Alec tightened his arms around Isabelle, his helplessness deepening in an astonishing way. He'd never before felt so defeated, so useless, and he could only imagine how Isabelle was feeling at the moment. Alec watched as Brother Zachariah led Clary out of the library, not wanting to waste any time on finding the Mortal Cup. Jace moved to sit on Isabelle's other side, and Alec could see his fear mirrored in his parabatai's eyes.

All he could do was hold Isabelle, and yet he knew that it would never be enough. It was the only thing he had to give her, but it would never be enough. Alec closed his eyes for a moment, trying to regain his composure, knowing that the last thing Isabelle needed was for him to fall apart as well. But when he closed his eyes, Magnus's eyes were staring back at him, and Alec's world shifted. He felt the guilt rush over him in wave after wave as he realized that he was so unimaginably angry with his soulmate while Isabelle was losing the bond that she's cherished almost since birth. Just the thought of anything happening to Magnus ripped through him in a crippling way, and it was then that Alec realized that he desperately needed Magnus to understand the depth of his love. He would still be angry with Magnus, that much was true, but that didn't mean that he wanted Magnus to think that their love had been diminished. He might not be able to fix Isabelle's heart, but he would move heaven and hell and everything in between to fix what he'd done to Magnus's.

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When Magnus heard a knock on his door, the last thing he wanted to do was get out of bed to see who it was. Magnus was slightly surprised to see that it was dark outside, and he quickly realized that he must have slept the entire day. He found that his heart was secretly hoping that it would be Alec at the door, but he knew from experience that his heart was the most foolish part of himself. Yet no matter how much he ignored it, the knocking simply wouldn't go away, and with the throbbing in his head, that was the last thing he wanted to listen to. So he pushed himself out of bed and flung the apartment door open, only remembering that he didn't have either of his glamours up after he realized that Jace was staring at him as though he'd grown an extra head. "What?" he asked, flinging the word at Jace with much more force than he'd intended. "You've never seen a rune before?" Magnus asked as he moved to throw himself onto the couch, knowing that getting rid of Jace would likely require more work than he had the energy for. It took Jace several moments to follow him into the apartment and close the door, clearly thrown off by the last thing he'd expected from Magnus.

"You look like shit," Jace finally replied as he moved to sit down across from where Magnus was on the couch, his face covered in a sort of concern that Magnus simply hadn't expected. For a very self-pitying moment, Magnus allowed himself to wonder if that concern was only for Alec, seeing as they now knew the truth about their soulmate bond. But then he shoved that thought aside and gave Jace the most indignant snort he could muster at the moment. He knew better than anyone that he probably looked worse than he had in a very long time. "I'm not going to pretend to know what's going on between you and Alec," Jace continued, clearly trying to keep his voice calm and steady. "Alec hasn't said a single thing to me about it. But I think that Alec sometimes forgets that we're parabatai and that I can feel his pain even when he doesn't talk to me about it." Magnus tried his best to stare up at the ceiling as though he was bored, not wanting Jace to see just how much his words tore at his heart. But he knew it likely wasn't working as much as he wanted it to.

"Is this supposed to be a therapy session, Jace?" Magnus asked, throwing every ounce of sarcasm that he could muster into his words. "Because I'm not exactly in the mood for this right now," he continued, wishing that Jace would simply leave him alone. "There's a reason I look like shit, as you so kindly pointed out, and I'm not exactly prepared to discuss that with you of all people." He knew he was being unfair, but that didn't seem to matter at the moment. All he wanted was to be alone once more. All he wanted was for sleep to peacefully take him away from the world for a few more hours at least. Maybe his mind would have time to calm itself by then. Maybe then he would be able to handle the things that were going on, the chaos that only seemed to deepen with every passing second. Yet how could he explain all of that to Jace? Jace was the last person he felt he could explain any of it to.

After several long seconds, Jace simply sighed the most exasperated sigh Magnus had ever heard from him, almost as though Mangus was missing something so completely obvious. "As much as I'd love to fix your relationship with Alec, that's not why I came here," Jace explained, and Magnus felt himself relax ever so slightly at the Shadowhunter's words. He could hear Jace's sincerity, but more than that, it seemed they wouldn't be talking about Alec for much longer. "Clary has a few ideas about where the Cup might be, and we plan on searching those areas for it, but we all agreed that it would be simpler to take you with us instead of having to contact you once we locate it." Magnus supposed this made sense. It certainly would be much faster and much safer to have the ability to retrieve the Cup on hand. "And yes, Alec agreed as well," Jace concluded, leaving no room for argument.

The only thing Magnus could think to do was snap his fingers so that his clothes changed and his hair and makeup were done like they normally were. There was no use in fighting with Jace over this. There was no way around the fact that he had to go with them. More lives were on the line if they didn't find the Cup soon. But as soon as Magnus stood up, he felt dizziness roll over him in one wave so large that he almost fell back into his seat. His only saving grace was the fact that Jace had already turned his back, so Magnus was able to reach out and catch himself on the arm of the sofa. All he had time to do was wonder if his dizziness was a result of the magic that he had just used before he found himself out on the street and halfway to the Institute by Jace's side.

Except it didn't take Magnus long to realize that they weren't headed to the Institute. They'd turned several blocks too early, but Magnus still knew exactly where they were going, even before Jace clarified. "We're meeting them at Clary and Jocelyn's old apartment," he said, glancing over at Magnus as though he expected to see some sort of emotion on the warlock's face that he had yet to see. "We figured it would be easier that way." Magnus simply nodded in agreement, seeing as they were rounding the corner and he was suddenly facing Alec much more quickly than he had expected. Alec and Clary were standing side-by-side just outside of Clary's old apartment complex, clearly not speaking to one another for various reasons that Magnus could only imagine. "Isabelle is resting," Jace all but whispered to Magnus as they neared the other two, a warning in his voice that Magnus wasn't going to contest.

And then suddenly Alec seemed to realize that they were there, and his eyes met Magnus's in the most heart wrenching of ways. There was so much that needed to be said between the two of them, but there was so much that clearly couldn't be said at the moment. And all Magnus wanted to do was apologize to Alec over and over until Alec understood just how much he truly meant it. But Alec's gaze was sweeping over him more quickly than he would have thought possible, and then suddenly Alec was looking at Jace and Jace alone, clearly making a point about who he wanted to associate with that day. It was almost as though Alec was forcing himself to look away and keep from saying all the things that had been going unsaid for far too long. "Let's get this over with," Alec said, breaking the silence and heading toward the entrance to the apartment building. Magnus followed after Jace and Clary, wishing beyond anything else that he could simply take Alec's hand and make him believe just how sorry he was, just how much he regretted almost everything he'd done over the past few weeks.

As they made their way up the stairs to Clary's apartment, Magnus couldn't help but study Alec, not having to worry about anyone watching him as well, as he was the last one up the stairs. The worst part of it was that Magnus began to feel as though maybe Alec wasn't feeling the way he was certainly feeling himself. All night long, all Magnus had been able to feel was regret and a longing so deep that it felt like he was being stabbed in the chest every time he so much as thought about Alec. But Alec seemed altogether composed at the moment, the fact that he was refusing to meet Magnus's eyes the only indication that anything was amiss. Magnus tried to keep the doubts from flooding his mind, but that was all he seemed to have room for in his mind at the moment. "Wait," Magnus said as Clary reached to unlock the front door. "You said Valentine was here before, right? Let me check for any sort of demonic presence or traps he might have set," Magnus continued, not waiting for them to respond before he began to process of checking the apartment.

The last thing they needed was for one of them to immediately get hurt upon entering the apartment. He finally nodded the let them know that the apartment was clear, not trusting his voice at the moment. Magnus suddenly felt another wave of dizziness, confirming his earlier suspicion that the use of magic was leaving him weak and sick. As soon as he regained his footing, he followed them in the apartment, surprised to see that Alec was alone in the living room. He hadn't truly expected the group to split up that quickly, but Alec was searching through everything he could find in the main room, and Magnus could only infer that Jace and Clary had gone to search Jocelyn's bedroom. "So, what exactly are we looking for?" Magnus asked, the tension too much for him to handle. His mind was already a whirlwind, and he didn't want more things to add to the chaos.

"You don't have to pretend to make smalltalk with me, Magnus," Alec said in response, his voice tight and ice cold. But Magnus couldn't escape the fact that the Shadowhunter's voice had changed when he'd said Magnus's name. There was something about Alec's tone that made Magnus want to wrap his arms around him until there was nothing of that darkness and iciness left in it. "I'm honestly just looking because I have nothing else to do, but I really don't know what to look for any more than you do. I know little to nothing about Jocelyn, least of all where she might have hidden the Cup." Alec returned to his searching then, turning his back on Magnus. Instead of focusing on the fact that the man he loved was being ice cold with him, Magnus decided to look around as well.

Eventually, the silence between them became the only thing that Magnus could focus on. It wasn't like the silence they normally shared. It was a silence in which Magnus could hear exactly what Alec wanted him to hear, a silence that showed just how angry Alec really was with him. "Alexander," Magnus said after several minutes of the deafening silence. "You must know how sorry I am." He'd barely finished speaking before Alec snorted, his disbelief tearing at Magnus's heart. Even if they never returned to normal, even if Alec never loved him again, Magnus desperately needed him to believe that he was sorry, that he regretted everything that he'd been doing. That was the only thing that would quiet his mind, even if only for a while. Alec finally turned to look at him then, his eyes betraying the fact that the last thing he wanted to do was look at Magnus.

"You're sorry?" he asked, his voice full of far more bitterness than Magnus had ever heard. "You're sorry for lying to me for weeks about the most important part of our relationship, and you think that sorry is going to be enough?" Magnus simply looked down at his feet then, knowing that any response he could come up with would be of little use. Everything that he thought of sounded horrible even to his own mind. "Well, I'm sorry, Magnus, but you just want me to acknowledge how sorry you are and forgive you to ease your own guilt." The way Alec said this made it very clear that this was the end of the conversation. And that was fine with Magnus because he found himself thinking on that very thought. It wasn't something he'd thought about before, but he found himself wallowing in self loathing as he realized that Alec could very well be right about the whole thing. Was he really worried about easing Alec's pain, or was he just worried about easing his own mind?

Magnus was about to speak up once more and point out to Alec that they'd been looking long enough to realize that nothing of importance was going to be in the living room. If Jocelyn had kept her past from Clary, then she wouldn't have left things out for Clary to find them on accident. But then Magnus felt an excruciating pain in his leg, and he frantically looked down to see that his pants were already soaked with blood. And that was when he registered that Alec was moaning in pain and crying out for help, a demon's tentacle suddenly wrapped around his left leg, clearly cutting into his flesh in the most painful of ways. Magnus was only confused for a moment before he remembered that he'd left the front door open. He'd thought that the glamors and wards on the apartment would keep mundanes out, but he hadn't been thinking about keeping demons out, he'd only been worried that demons might already be inside.

When the demon yanked on Alec's leg, sending Alec crashing to the floor, his leg twisting so hard that Magnus heard the most sickening of snaps, Magnus hit the ground as well, the pain in his own leg overwhelming him in almost every way. "Alexander!" he heard himself calling, fear bursting inside of him as he registered the amount of blood that Alec had already lost. Before he really knew what he was doing, Magnus felt a ball of fire shooting from his fingertips. He watched as it burned the demon, but not enough to make the demon let go of Alec. So he loaded another spell as he attempted to fight the dizziness that was already washing over him. This time, he used a much more powerful spell, effectively slicing the demon's tentacle off, watching in relief as the dead appendage loosened its grip on Alec.

Despite the pain that Magnus knew Alec was in, he watched as the Shadowhunter pulled himself to his knees, heavily leaning on his right leg as he plunged a seraph blade into the demon's head. Jace and Clary rushed in just as the demon turned to ashes and Alec slumped forward, but Magnus couldn't find it in himself to focus on either of those things. He'd felt sick for weeks, but he'd never before felt like this. He'd never felt as though he was floating away with the waves of dizziness that were crashing over him. He'd never felt as though he couldn't so much as lift a finger, all the energy drained out of him in the most disturbing of ways. He'd been low on energy due to magic before, but nothing of this level. So he simply watched as Jace began tracing healing runes onto Alec's leg, though Magnus knew that runes wouldn't help much with the broken bone. Alec would need magic to heal that, but magic was the last thing that Magnus had at the moment.

Magnus found himself sighing in relief when the blood stopped flowing from the gash in Alec's leg, the wound beginning the healing process as soon as Jace had finished the first iratze. "Magnus," Alec said, his voice shaky and uneven. Magnus could tell that this wasn't something the Shadowhunter had been prepared for. Alec knew that they were soulmates, but simply knowing that didn't compare to watching his battle injuries appear on Magnus as well. They hadn't truly seen the effect of their bond in action, and that was clearly making much more of an impact on Alec than he would likely care to admit. "Magnus," Alec said again, his voice more of a plea than it had been earlier, and Magnus began to wonder why that was. But then Magnus felt the world fall out from beneath him, and the dizziness crashed over him yet again and suddenly he was falling into a darkness so deep that he only hoped he'd be able to find his way out.

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"I am not leaving him," Alec said through his teeth for what he felt was the tenth time, though he knew that Jace had only suggested that he get some rest once before. They'd gotten Magnus back to the Institute not long ago, but Alec refused to leave until Magnus woke up. He might be incredibly angry with Magnus at the moment, but that didn't mean that Magnus being hurt was something he took lightly. He still loved the warlock, no matter how much he wished he didn't. So he was sitting with Magnus's hand in his, anxiously awaiting the return of Brother Zachariah. Calling the Zachariah back had been the only thing that Alec could think to do when Magnus didn't wake up on his own. If anyone could figure out what was going on with Magnus, it would be him. But Alec had quickly called Ragnor Fell as well, knowing that Ragnor would want to hear of Magnus's condition before anything else happened.

Jace sighed and simply left the room once more, apparently realizing that he wasn't going to get anywhere with Alec at a time like this. They'd put Magnus in one of the spare rooms of the Institute, figuring that the bed there would be much more comfortable than one of the infirmary's beds. And Alec could almost imagine that Magnus was simply sleeping, but then he would feel the pain of his broken leg and reality would smack him in the face once more. Alec simply couldn't figure out why Magnus was unconscious at the moment. The iratze had healed their flesh wounds, and a broken leg certainly wasn't any reason for him to have passed out without regaining consciousness on his own. The only conclusion that Alec could come to was that there was something wrong with Magnus, and that was the most terrifying thought Alec had had in ages.

 _How long has he been like this?_ Brother Zachariah asked, scaring Alec ever so slightly as his voice broke the silence in the most abrupt of ways. Alec replied to tell him that it hadn't been an hour since Magnus had passed out, going on to explain exactly what had happened leading up to that particular event.  _You said that he fought the demon off with battle magic, correct?_ Zechariah asked, and Alec simply nodded to him, his energy draining very quickly as the situation began to look worse and worse. For several long minutes, Alec simply watched as Brother Zachariah worked over Magnus, slightly surprised that the Brother hadn't asked him to leave. It was almost as though Zachariah seemed to understand the depth of what was going on between them and he didn't want to take anything away from that.

After recounting the night's events several times, Alec couldn't remain silent anymore, the curiosity and fear getting the better of him. "What's wrong with him?" he asked, his voice much softer than he had thought it would be. "You seem to know exactly what's going on, as you clearly knew how to help him from the moment you walked in. So please, just explain this to me." Alec knew he was pleading, but he was beyond caring. The worry that he felt for Magnus was coursing through him at an alarming rate, and all he wanted was for it to stop. For Magnus to open his eyes and prove that all the worrying was for nothing. But since that clearly wasn't going to happen, Alec knew that he needed all the information he could get about their current situation.

Even though he was a Silent Brother, hesitation was still visible in every part of Brother Zachariah's demeanor. It was very clear that he understood far more than Alec did, but it was also very clear that what he understood was exactly what he didn't want to explain to anyone.  _Alec,_ he began, his voice much softer in Alec's mind than it had been before.  _I am not sure that it is my place to tell you all the things that Magnus has confided in me about._ At that, Alec felt another wave of anger roll over him as he realized that Magnus had confided in others about the very thing that he'd hidden from Alec.  _I can assure you, however, that -_  Brother Zachariah's voice stopped as someone chuckled a most sarcastic chuckle, and Alec turned to see Ragnor standing in the doorway.

"James, do shut up, please," he said to Brother Zachariah, his voice not nearly as annoyed as Alec thought it would be, only confusing Alec more than he was already. If Ragnor was calling Brother Zachariah by a different name, then that likely meant he'd know Zachariah in his Shadowhunter days. And if Ragnor had known Zachariah back then, that likely meant that Magnus had as well. "You know as well as I do that Magnus has hidden this for far too long. Alec has a right to know." Brother Zachariah simply shook his head in a defeated way, as if to say that Ragnor could be the one to incur Magnus's wrath when Magnus found out that they'd told Alec what he'd been hiding. They shared a look that Alec knew meant something to the two of them, but it meant nothing to him; it was the kind of look that two people gave one another when they knew each other well enough to need no words to communicate.

"I've been trying to convince Magnus to tell you about this from the moment we found out," Ragnor said, and Alec could hear just how angry the warlock was. It was very clear that he didn't agree with Magnus on keeping these things from Alec. So Alec listened closely as Ragnor explained exactly what was going on. Alec felt both his heart and his stomach hit the floor when Ragnor explained that Magnus had been sick for weeks, that Magnus would only get sicker and sicker until they'd either performed a ceremony to help him or he ended up dead on Alec's eighteenth birthday. It came as no surprise to Alec that the Clave had banned these ceremonies. They were too prejudiced against Downworlders to ever think of such a thing as being even remotely okay. Ragnor explained that using magic made Magnus even weaker, something that was like a punch in the gut to Alec. If Magnus hadn't been trying to save him from the demon, he never would have gotten this sick in the first place.

"He'll be fine in a bit," Ragnor finally said, his voice becoming incredibly soft as he seemed to see the anxiety on Alec's face. "He just needs to rest and get his energy back. James took care of all the things we could heal for him. Now his body has to do the rest." Alec wanted to launch into a set of questions that were buzzing through his mind at the moment, but he kept himself from it, knowing that no amount of information could change the situation. "Let me heal your leg before I leave," Ragnor said, and Alec simply nodded at him, watching as the warlock reached down to heal the broken leg as gently as possible. Alec found himself wondering what would have happened if Clary hadn't had an extra pair of crutches at her old apartment. Jace had already had to carry Magnus back to the Institute, there was no way they could have made it home all at once without the crutches. He sighed in relief as the pain subsided and Magnus seemed to relax as well when Ragnor healed the break without any further pain at all.

Before Alec knew it, Ragnor had already left the room, apparently realizing that Alec needed some time to think things over. The one thing Alec was sure of was the fear that was slowly rearing its head. His eighteenth birthday really wasn't all that far away. And no matter how angry he was with Magnus at the moment, that would never erase the fear of knowing that Magnus was sick and dying because of a bond that they couldn't control. And now they would have to fight with the Clave for the one thing that could save his life. All of this knowledge made Alec feel impossibly guilty for being so angry with Magnus. But then he'd remember just what Magnus had been hiding and the whole cycle would start all over again.

Alec closed his eyes for a moment, trying his best to clear his mind and start all over again, trying to figure out exactly which of his feelings was the most important at the moment. "Alexander?" Magnus suddenly asked, his voice slow and bogged down by the weight of just waking up. He gently tugged at Alec's hand, almost as though he was trying to assure himself that Alec was there. "You're okay," he said, though it was very clearly a statement of relief and not a question. Alec couldn't help but give Magnus's hand a gentle squeeze then, knowing that they both could have very easily been anything other than okay. "I didn't expect you to be here when I woke up," Magnus concluded, the pain in his voice tearing through Alec's heart. All Alec wanted to do was reassure Magnus, but that was the last thing he could do when he was as angrily confused as he was in that moment.

It was then that Alec decided not to respond to what Magnus had just said, completely at a loss as to how he could respond in a loving way. And the last thing he wanted was to hurt Magnus even more, so he simply held onto the warlock's hand, allowing the silence to fill the room. After several minutes of silence had stretched between the two of them, Magnus finally broke the silence by saying the last thing that Alec had expected. "Do you still want to know why I've been hiding all of this from you?" he asked, turning his head just enough so that he was staring up into Alec's eyes, clearly too tired and weak to sit up at the moment. "I know Ragnor told you that I'm sick. I can see it in your eyes. That's the only reason I can come up with that would make you stay with me." Alec wished he could deny that, but he knew in his heart that he'd be lying to both of them if he did. "So do you honestly want to know why I've hidden everything?" Magnus asked once more.

It took Alec several moments to think that over, but he eventually nodded, hoping that his expression betrayed his sincerity. "It all boils down to one thing," Magnus said, his voice slightly unsteady, though whether that was from anxiety or from being weak, Alec couldn't tell. "I was scared," Magnus admitted, his words not fully sinking in with Alec at first. "I'd spent four centuries thinking that I wasn't worthy of a soulmate. I gave myself and my love to people over and over again, only to be left in the dust every single time. The fact that I hadn't been given a soulmate in four centuries seemed fitting to me. I never imagined that anyone could love me the way a soulmate was supposed to love me." Alec wished that he could comfort Magnus, that he could remove every bit of pain from Magnus's voice, but what hurt the most was that he knew it wasn't possible.

"When you were born and you got hurt for the first time, I'm pretty sure I'd never been so excited about anything in my entire life." The ghost of a smile drifted across Magnus's lips, the memory taking over for a moment. "But then when you got your first rune and I realized that my soulmate was a Shadowhunter, I thought it was a cosmic joke. The universe was taunting me. I'd spent four centuries waiting on my soulmate, and now I'd been given a soulmate who might not even love me. One who might look at me with disgust the first time they even so much as glanced my way." Alec found himself shaking his head, desperate to have Magnus understand just how incapable he was of ever being disgusted by him. "I was terrified by the thought of having a Shadowhunter for a soulmate. The runes you kept carving into our skin made me feel so vulnerable. It was like having all my cards on the table. So I spent years glamouring myself even when no one was around and avoiding the very thought."

Magnus paused for a moment, taking a deep breath and seemingly pulling himself together, and Alec wondered if there would ever be anything he could do to ease the pain that they were both feeling. "Then I met you, and you were everything I'd ever wanted and more. And you were a Shadowhunter, so I found myself pleading with the universe, wishing more and more every day that you would be my soulmate. I didn't mean to fall in love with you, Alexander, but you never really gave me a choice. I never stood a chance when it came to you." Magnus's voice seemed to grow softer at this, and that moved Alec in a way he hadn't expected. But even as he realized this, he couldn't help but feel the pain and anger that was still simmering deep within him.

"And then I found out that you really were my soulmate and then we discovered the reason behind why I've been so sick, and suddenly I didn't know where to go from there," Magnus continued, clearly forcing himself to go on despite how worried he was. "And every time I looked into your eyes I saw everything I'd ever wanted staring back at me. Yet I couldn't shake the fear and the doubts and the pain that had spent four centuries growing inside of me. At first, I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to worry. I didn't want you to spend every day wondering about how sick I was or blaming yourself for everything that I've been going through." Alec felt a wave of anger rush over him at that. Why did Magnus think he had the right to decide that Alec didn't need to worry?

"I know," Magnus said, clearly seeing the way Alec's expression had changed in a matter of seconds. "But the longer it went on, the more I realized that keeping you from worrying wasn't the only thing I was doing. I was keeping myself from being hurt," he admitted, his voice terribly defeated. "I've been so scared of being hurt by you or losing you that I thought it was better to keep the truth hidden. Because then maybe my heart wouldn't break as hard when I lost you just like I've lost everyone else who has come into my life. I thought that if the truth wasn't out in the open that it would make things easier when I inevitably lost you in one way or another." Alec wanted to smack Magnus for the things he was saying. How could Magnus think that he would ever leave for any reason save death? "It was the dumbest thing I've ever done, and trust me, I've done a lot of stupid things. But I couldn't seem to retrain my mind. I couldn't seem to understand that the centuries of waiting and pain were over. And I'm incredibly sorry for that. But I wanted you to know all of this because I love you, Alexander."

At that, Magnus abruptly stopped talking, almost as though he wanted to say more, but he was refraining for one reason or another. Alec spent several moments attempting to assess his own feelings, wanting to give Magnus the most honest response he could. But the problem was that he simply couldn't separate his broken heart from his love for the man before him, and he knew that wasn't fair to Magnus. Magnus deserved the love he'd been waiting centuries for, and that was something that Alec was afraid he couldn't give right now. Eventually, he moved to kiss Magnus as best he could without hurting the warlock. It was the most gentle kiss they had ever shared, and Alec knew that it spoke volumes, but it was the only honest thing he could think to do. "I love you, too, Magnus," he said, packing every ounce of emotion possible into the words.

Magnus simply stared up at him, his own expression very clearly showing that he felt he knew exactly where the conversation was going. "I love you," Alec repeated, wishing that those words alone were enough to change the world. "Not that that changes anything," he admitted, closing his eyes when he saw Magnus's pain deepen as the words hit him. "I really appreciate you being honest with me about everything, and I thank you immensely for it, but it doesn't change the fact that you've lied to me for weeks about the most important thing in our lives. It doesn't change the fact that I'm incredibly angry with you, that I'm angrier right now than I have ever been." Alec wished it weren't true, but he'd promised himself he'd be honest with Magnus, so he forced himself to press onward. "You deserve care and love that I simply can't give you right now without it being tinged with bitterness," Alec explained, wishing that Magnus would stop looking at him in a way that showcased his breaking heart.

"Magnus, you broke my heart, and that's not something I can just shove aside as though it never happened." Alec took a deep breath and attempted to steady himself. "That doesn't mean that I don't love you. I don't think I have it in me to ever stop loving you no matter what. It just means that I need time. I need time to think and to heal. I can't pick up where we left off while I'm this hurt and angry. It wouldn't be fair to either of us." Alec finally let go of Magnus's hand then, consciously registering that it was the hardest thing he'd done in a very long time. "We'll figure out how to get this ceremony approved. We'll figure out where the Cup is and how to keep Valentine at bay. But right now, we're going to have to figure all of this out as friends and nothing more," Alec said, his voice wavering ever so slightly toward the end.

Standing up, Alec tested out his newly healed leg, hoping he would have the energy to carry himself away from Magnus and the pain that they were both wallowing in. "I love you, Magnus Bane. And I will never stop loving you. You're my soulmate," he said, by way of explanation as to why he could never stop loving Magnus. "But right now, we both just need time." Magnus nodded, though he clearly regretted every second of it. "Please, let me know if you need anything. I'll be right down the hall. Get some rest, and we'll figure the rest out starting in the morning." With that, Alec turned himself around, forcing himself to walk out of the room, knowing that he would lose all his resolve if he didn't immediately close the conversation. Shutting the door behind him, Alec felt his world fall apart as he sunk to the floor, unable to stand against the emotions that were drowning him. He felt as though he was suffocating under the weight of what he'd just done.

All he wanted was to run into Magnus's arms. But Magnus was the last person he could run to. When Jace came around the corner an hour later, Alec was still sitting on the floor, arms wrapped around himself as though he was trying to hold himself together. Yet he knew deep down that the parts of himself that were breaking were the very parts that no one but Magnus would ever be able to hold together. He allowed Jace to help him up off the ground and lead him to his room. He allowed Jace to sit with him in silence for much longer than he'd care to admit. And he allowed Jace to dry his tears when they began slowly making their way down his face, hoping beyond hope that his parabatai was not feeling his pain through their bond. "Get some sleep," Jace finally said, breaking the silence a bit reluctantly. "Clary and I found a very promising lead, and you need to be rested." Instead of arguing, Alec simply caught Jace's hand as the other boy moved to get up from the seat beside of Alec's bed, silently requesting that his parabatai stay. It was only when he was fully convinced that Jace would not leave him that Alec allowed himself to drift into sleep, the painless darkness flooding him with relief.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! First, I would like to apologize profusely for the fact that it has taken me so long to update. This semester has been exceedingly rough, and I only seem to get busier with every passing week. My hope is that I can begin to write a bit every day so it won't take me this long to update again. But I make no promises because clearly it's been hard for me to do so!
> 
> Anyways, I hope that y'all enjoy this chapter! I have lots of Plans for this story, and this is the beginning of them! Please let me know your thoughts, and hopefully I'll see y'all soon!

When Magnus woke, the first thing he was aware of was just how heavy his entire body felt. But it wasn't the sort of heaviness that he had expected. Sure, he could feel just how physically drained he was. He could feel the effects of what had happened the night before, of passing out from the excessive use of magic and the fact that he was already growing weaker with each and every passing day. He could feel all of that, and yet none of it seemed to matter at the moment. As he sat up, his body protested, but he barely paid attention to it. The pain in his arms as he vpushed himself into sitting position was nothing compared to what was going on in his mind.

Slowly but surely, the night's events came back to him. He would have gladly passed out from the over-exertion a thousand times over if it meant he wouldn't have to think about the fact that Alec had very firmly closed the door on their relationship. Of course, if anyone had asked Alec directly, he probably would have specified that he'd talked mostly about needing time and space, which was decidedly not closing the door. But Magnus felt as though Alec had locked him in a room and all he could do was stare back at the door and wonder if Alec would ever unlock it again.

Just when Magnus felt as though he was going to suffocate from the thought of being locked away like this, he realized that he wasn't alone in his room. Ragnor was staring at him with more concern in his eyes than Magnus had seen in a long time. "How are you feeling?" Ragnor asked as soon as Magnus seemed to actually tune in to what was going on around him. "Does anything hurt or are you just tried?" Ragnor specified, his eyes searching Magnus for any signs of distress. Magnus wanted nothing more than to comfort Ragnor, but he knew that would be hard to do when he needed so much comfort for himself.

"I feel as though my entire body was ripped apart and then sewn back together by a monkey with less than spectacular sewing skills," Magnus replied, not at all surprised when Ragnor didn't even begin to smile at the joke. Over the past several months, Magnus had tried to make light of the situation that he was in, knowing that humor was the only way he was going to make it through. Ragnor, however, had failed to find anything about the situation funny no matter the day or time. "But I've felt worse," Magnus said, trying to shrug off exactly how he was feeling. He could see in Ragnor's eyes that the other warlock didn't believe him, but Magnus decided that that simply didn't matter at the moment. "Do we have a plan of action yet?" Magnus finally asked, reluctantly turning his mind back to what was ahead of them.

Ragnor sighed and shook his head, but Magnus could tell that this was due to his exasperation at Magnus's stubbornness. "I think there's a plan in place, but honestly, Magnus, I think it would be better if you didn't go with us." Ragnor looked slightly nervous at that, almost as though he wasn't giving Magnus the full story. "You need to rest," he said, clearly trying to get himself out of the hole he was digging. It was then that Magnus understood what Ragnor was trying to say. He was worried about Magnus being around Alec after everything that had happened the night before, especially not on a mission so important that any sort of distraction could prove fatal.

Magnus, however, was already shaking his head, moving to get out of bed without hinting to Ragnor just how much his muscles were protesting at the movement. As his feet hit the floor and he realized that he had greatly overestimated just how much strength he had regained, causing him to involuntarily reach out for Ragnor's already outstretched hand, steadying himself on his friend without a second thought. Magnus wanted to smack Ragnor when he saw the "I told you so," look on the other warlock's face, but he simply steadied himself and moved to get ready for the day, more than slightly anxious at what the day might come to hold. "Whatever you all have been planning, you're taking me with you," Magnus stated, giving Ragnor no room for an argument.

"Meet us in the library," was all Ragnor said before he finally walked out of the room, giving Magnus the chance to truly assess how he was feeling. Fifteen minutes later, he'd finally changed into the new clothes that Alec had so clearly retrieved from his apartment, washed his face, magicked some makeup on, and he was beginning to feel like a completely new person. He knew that it had been Alec who had retrieved his clothes because only Alec would know to grab his most comfortable pair of jeans and his favorite shirt. Magnus sighed as he slowly made his way to the library, taking more time than normal for several reasons, most of which included Alec.

Magnus had known that walking into the library would likely throw him face to face with Alec once more, but he hadn't expected to be thrown in the middle of an argument that he had no hopes of following at least for the time being. Ragnor and Alec were staring at one another as though they would like nothing more than for the other to spontaneously combust. "There's no point in us going without Magnus," Alec was saying, his voice much harsher than Magnus had heard it in a while. "We may need him to help us retrieve the Cup; you know what Valentine said about needing us to get the Cup for him. If we don't take him with us now, that could just put all of us in more danger later on," Alec asserted, clearly not ready to back down from his stance on the matter at hand.

For a moment, Magnus thought that maybe Ragnor wasn't going to respond, but then the other warlock finally spoke once more, bringing Magnus's heart to a standstill. "Don't pretend like you care about Magnus's safety," Ragnor spat at Alec. "You sure as hell didn't care when you all but ripped his heart out of his chest. You Shadowhunters are all the same. All you want is the Cup just like Valentine Morgenstern. The rest of us, especially us Downworlders, be dammed." At that, Magnus thought of stepping in, though stepping in was the last thing he truly wanted to do. But then Alec replied almost immediately, clearly still unaware of the fact that Magnus was standing just a few feet away from them.

"Don't even begin to pretend like I don't love Magnus," Alec said, but his voice was so void of emotion that Magnus almost couldn't believe him anymore. "I want the Cup so that Valentine will take his eyes off of Magnus. Don't talk about a relationship that you know nothing about." Magnus had been expecting something much more forceful and passionate, but Alec's voice trailed off as he looked up and met Magnus's eyes. It looked almost like the Shadowhunter was willing him to believe what he was saying, but Alec looked away from him almost as soon as their eyes had met, so Magnus was having a hard time believing that it had been there at all.

After several long moments, Robert cleared his throat, but Magnus wasn't ready to look away from Ragnor who was now staring back at him as though he wanted to drag Magnus away from every Shadowhunter they might ever see again. "Magnus," he began, and for a moment, Magnus thought that something awful was about to happen. "You seem well; are you ready?" he asked, pretending as though absolutely nothing had just happened. Magnus simply nodded, though he still had no idea of where they were going or why they needed to go there for the Cup.

"We have found a lead as to where the Cup might be," Robert continued, clearly ignoring the tension that was still filling the room. "Clary and Jace happened to find a journal of Jocelyn's saying that she hid the Cup in Idris," Robert explained, which was something that didn't surprise Magnus in the slightest. Idris would have been the most logical place of Jocelyn to hide the Cup. "From what we can tell, the Cup should be somewhere at the old Academy, but Jocelyn had a warlock help her place a spell on it so that it can only be released from its containment by the blood of two soulmates." Magnus didn't particularly relish the thought of visiting the Academy, even if there were no longer any Shadowhunters there.

The Academy had been out of use since the Uprising, but it had once been the place where all young Shadowhunter and Shadowhunters-to-be were trained. A place that Ragnor had once taught at, though Magnus couldn't even begin to fathom why he'd thought that particular job was the best for him. "So when do we leave for the Academy?" Magnus asked when it was clear that no one else was going to speak. That earned a rather angry stare from Ragnor, but Magnus decided to ignore it. There was no way he was going to let Ragnor walk into danger without going along with him. Magnus had heard stories of the demons that had overrun the Academy since it had closed down. The only place in Idris that was immune to demons was Alicante, and since the Academy was in a remote part of Idris, it hadn't taken long for demons to take it over when the Shadowhunters left it alone.

Magnus wasn't going to allow Ragnor to go there alone, and he certainly wasn't going to let Alec go without him as well. He wasn't going to helplessly sit around while the people he loved most walked into a volatile situation. "Alec, Jace, go get your gear on and get ready," Robert said in response to Magnus, clearly relieved to be able to separate Alec from Magnus. With that, Robert also left the room, quickly followed by Isabelle and Clary who seemed to realize that they didn't want to be around while Magnus and Ragnor conversed as they inevitably would. Magnus spent several moments trying to decide if Isabelle had recently been crying or not, but all too quickly, Magnus was trying to figure out what to say to his friend, trying to figure out exactly what had happened so that he would know how to proceed.

Just as Magnus began to open his mouth, Ragnor threw his own words at him. "The only thing these Shadowhunters want from you is to use you for their gain, and you know that as well as I do, Mangus," he said, his words every bit as bitter as Magnus had suspected they would be. "They don't care if it hurts you or not. They don't care about you. They're just like every other Shadowhunter we've ever met. Self-centered and self-righteous." Magnus threw his hand up as Ragnor finally took a breath, knowing that this could go on for much longer if he didn't do something to step in. Ragnor looked a bit taken aback by Magnus's courage at stepping in, but Magnus knew it was really the only option he had.

"I think I know what's going on here, and that's fine," he said, enjoying the confusion on Ragnor's face. It was very clear that Ragnor had expected a very harsh response. "You're angry with Alec for what he's done to me. You think this proves that he's the selfish Shadowhunter you always pictured him to be. You're angry with me for still loving him despite everything. I get it. But right now this is bigger than my relationship with Alec. Valentine could destroy all of Downworld, and you and I are needed to help keep that from happening. So be angry at Alec if you want. Be angry at me if that's what it takes. But don't let Valentine win just because you're angry."

For a moment it seemed as though Ragnor was going to argue with him, and Magnus had to admit that he was prepared for it. But then Ragnor simply nodded and set about making a portal. Portaling to Idris had always seemed more difficult to Magnus than portaling anywhere else in the world, but he knew that Ragnor wouldn't allow him to help with the portal itself, not after he'd already drained himself down so close to death. When the Shadowhunters returned, Magnus forced himself to keep his eyes on Ragnor's work, not wanting to give away just how nervous he was about this mission. He knew that it wouldn't take much to completely drain his energy. And he also knew that they were likely going to be thrown into a highly volatile situation in which his magic could be needed at any moment. Several minutes later, as he finally stepped into the portal, Magnus forced himself to think of the Academy instead of Alec's arms.

.

.

.

Alec swallowed the lump in his throat as he landed in the soft, overgrown grass outside of the Academy. He tried his best to focus on the Academy itself instead of the fact that Magnus had landed right beside of him, a little too close for comfort. He'd never been to the Academy before, and it was slightly underwhelming if he was being honest with himself. He'd heard tales of just how grand it had once been, but now it was little more than a small mansion that had been overrun with nature. "Something feels wrong," Magnus said, more to himself than anyone else, breaking the silence in the most eerie of ways. Alec had to admit that Magnus was right. Something seemed off about the place. There seemed to be an evil presence, not just a wild one.

Drawing a seraph blade, Alec turned to his father, the one who was unofficially in charge of the mission. "Can you pinpoint what it is?" Robert asked both Magnus and Ragnor, clearly analyzing their faces to assess just how bad the situation might be. Alec turned to Jace and Clary then, sending Jace a questioning look as to what might happen if they failed to retrieve the Cup. Jace simply shrugged as they waited for a response from the two warlocks, and Alec was forced to think of what might happen to Isabelle if they failed. Robert had ordered her to stay at the Institute with Max, explaining to her that she was in too much emotional pain over Simon to come on a mission that had so much at risk. In true Isabelle fashion, she'd fought with Robert all night. At least until Alec had stepped in and forced her to see reality for what it really was. But Alec knew that if they failed to retrieve the Cup and something else happened to Simon, Isabelle would blame herself for not being on the mission with them.

"There's a very dark force here," Ragnor said slowly, clearly still trying to figure out what was going on. "I can't tell what it is, but there's something evil here." Both he and Magnus shook their heads when Robert asked if it could simply be due to a large presence of demons. "It's darker, more evil than that," Ragnor explained, his voice gravely serious. "Most demons are just doing the bidding of those who control the, but this is a presence that has a power all of its own." For a moment, Ragnor and Magnus talked to one another, their voices just low enough to not be heard by the rest of the group, but that didn't bother Alec. The two warlocks certainly knew far more about the situation than the rest of them.

After several long minutes, they seemed to decide that the only two options were to go back home or face whatever they were up against. "We can't leave yet," Alec said a bit too forcefully. "We'll have to face this at one point or another, and we won't know what it is until we at least try," he pointed out, hoping to recover himself enough to erase the fear he knew was there. All he could think about was Isabelle and the pain that she was already in, the pain that she would surely be in if they returned empty-handed. She'd never forgive them if they returned without even trying to find the Cup. At that point, Robert glanced toward Magnus and Ragnor once more before apparently deciding that Alec's point was as valid as could be. He directed them to split up, sending Jace, Clary, and Magnus to search the kitchen and the training halls while he directed Ragnor and Alec to follow him to the classroom and dormitory portion of the Academy.

Alec silently thanked his lucky stars for the fact that his father had put Magnus with Jace and Clary. There was only so much that Alec could handle at the moment, and he didn't think that being relatively alone with Magnus was something that he could properly deal with. Not that being relatively alone with Ragnor was much better at the moment, but at least it was a start. As they entered the Academy, Alec couldn't help but look toward his father, wondering what Robert was thinking of. There were certainly a lot of memories associated with the Academy for Robert, and Alec could only hope that the majority of them were happy memories.

For several rooms, the three of them walked in silence, and Alec could only imagine what was going through Ragnor's mind. He knew that Ragnor was angry with him, and he thought he understood why that was, but he still wasn't sure how to handle it. He wasn't used to having Ragnor be so harsh with him, and navigating this new dynamic wasn't easy. Alec was lost in thought about it all when Ragnor brushed past him on their way into the Academy's library. "If Magnus ever gets hurt because of you again, you'll live to regret it," was all Ragnor said, but that was plenty. Alec could hear the sincere anger in Ragnor's voice, and that was all he needed to hear.

Alec paused for only a moment, wondering if he should respond to Ragnor at all, but in the end, his body seemed to decide for him. "Look, I know you're angry," Alec said, stepping up behind Ragnor and ignoring the looks they were getting from Robert. "You have every right to be angry with me, but you don't seem to understand that I'm angry with myself as well." Alec felt a bust of satisfaction when his words brought Ragnor to a halt. "I'm in love with Magnus," he continued, hoping that those words would explain as much as humanly possible. "Completely and utterly in love. And I know that I'm hurting him. I can see it in his eyes, in the way he walks. And that's the last thing I wanted to do. But right now, I can't love him the way he deserves to be loved. Not when I'm hurting and angry. So I'm going to keep my distance for a while until I can separate my hurt from my love again."

It looked like Ragnor had been planning a snide remark, but then he quickly shut his mouth, seemingly taking in everything that Alec had just said. "I hate doing this to him. And don't think for a second that it doesn't hurt me as well," Alec continued, walking past his father and beginning to actually look around the library. "But Magnus deserves more than someone who is irrationally and hopelessly angry with him. Trust me, if Magnus gets hurt because of me again, you won't be the reason that I live to regret it." Alec turned to a display of old weapons then, trying his hardest to ignore the fact that Ragnor was staring at him, likely studying him to figure out whether or not he was telling the truth. But the problem was that he had been more honest just now than he had been in a long time.

"You okay?" Robert said quietly enough that Alec knew Ragnor couldn't hear them, stepping up behind his son in an almost protective way. "I thought that splitting you and Magnus up would have been the best, but if that was the wrong decision, I'm sorry." Alec tried to look at his father and smile, but he simply didn't have it in him. Not to mention the fact that he knew Robert would be able to see through any smile that he could muster up at the moment. Alec simply shook his head, trying to get Robert to understand that it was quite alright with him. Either way would have likely been a disaster regardless of what Robert had done. "I see the way you two look at each other," Robert continued, his voice eerie in the silence of the library.

"I know it's none of my business, son, but if there's one thing I've learned in life, it's that you should never let your loved ones get too far from you." Alec looked toward his father then, wondering if Robert was referring to the fact that he'd lost Michael all those years ago. "Just don't forget that he's your soulmate, alright?" Robert asked, sending a weak smile Alec's way. All Alec could do was nod, hoping that he would be able to take his father's words to heart. The last thing he wanted to do was push Magnus away or make Magnus think that he didn't care, but that seemed to be exactly what he was doing.

Very quickly, however, Alec remembered that they were on a mission, and he pushed thoughts of Magnus aside. He could assess his feelings later, but he needed to focus on retrieving the Mortal Cup while minimizing the disaster that would take place while doing so. Alec turned his attention back to the situation at hand, scanning the weapons display in front of him, even though he knew it would most likely be useless to do so. Almost as soon as he'd finished scanning the weapons, however, Ragnor called out to them from the opposite side of the library, directing their attention toward a display of the Mortal Cup. "I know this says that it's a replica of the Cup, but why would they have a replica in a cage with such a complicated lock?" Ragnor asked as soon as they were close enough to see what he was seeing.

Alec had to admit that what Ragnor was saying made sense. He could understand why the weapons would be locked down, so that no one could get them and use them or break them because of how old they were, but if the Cup was truly a replica, why keep it under a lock unlike anything that Alec had ever seen? Why not use a replica as a teaching tool instead of making it impossible for students to so much as breathe on? The lock was highly intricate to the point that Alec couldn't really figure out how it worked, the glass around it clearly reinforced by wards of some sort. There would be no breaking the glass to get to what was inside. "The lock is clearly magical," Ragnor explained, his voice distant and thoughtful. "Maybe Magnus will have seen something like it before."

Ragnor moved to perform some kind of spell that Alec recognized as a form of signaling between him and Magnus. But before Ragnor could even begin working the spell, a cold wind swept through the entire room, cutting through Alec in an almost painful way. What remained of the stained-glass windows near them suddenly burst, glass flying in all directions at a frightening speed. Alec reached up to cover his face with his arm, wincing slightly as the glass embedded itself in his forearm, more of it quickly making its home in his legs. He was just about to wonder what had caused the shattering, but before he could even lower his arm, someone spoke behind him.

"Magnus may not have seen it before, but I certainly have," the man said, and Alec turned to see someone who looked shockingly like Magnus, down to the golden-green cat-like eyes. But as far as Alec knew, Magnus didn't have any siblings, at least none that were living, so he tossed that thought to the side, waiting for someone else to make the first move. "It's been a long time, hasn't it Ragnor?" the man asked, and Alec looked to Ragnor for any sort of clarification. Ragnor's face was pulled tight with concern, clearly weary of whoever their new guest was, but clearly not wanting to show the full extent of his emotions. "Speaking of Magnus, where is my favorite son?"

Alec wasn't sure what hit him worse, the thought of finally being face to face with Magnus's father or the sound of this Asmodeus's voice as he talked about Magnus in that way. Before Ale could even begin to think about what he was doing, he'd already drawn and loaded an arrow, his rage immediate and insatiable. His thoughts were consumed with all that Asmodeus had done to Magnus, and he couldn't even begin to control his reaction to that. But as soon as his arrow left the bow, it disintegrated in midair, Asmodeus laughter the only sound that followed. "Here's what's going to happen," he said almost lazily, as though he knew they had no other option but to listen to him and do as he asked.

"Magnus will walk through that door any moment now, seeing as the glass currently embedded in your flesh has likely left countless cuts on Magnus's own skin," Asmodeus continued, his eyes flashing with a bit of mischief that sent chills down Alec's spine. "And when he does, I'm going to show the two of you how to retrieve the Mortal Cup, which you will promptly hand over to me if you wish to live to see another day." Alec swallowed the lump in his throat, suddenly realizing that they really only had one option. Even Ragnor and Magnus together wouldn't be enough to handle Asmodeus, so they'd either have to hand over the Cup or face the consequences, something that Alec couldn't even begin to imagine.

"And why would we hand the Cup over to you?" Magnus asked from behind them, his gaze fixed entirely on his father. Alec was almost scared of the hatred and anger he saw in Magnus's eyes, the ice in his voice, but he also knew that these things were completely justified, so he couldn't find it in himself to blame Magnus for any of it. "I'd sooner hand the Cup over to Valentine Morgenstern. At least I know that son of a bitch wants to eradicate my people. With you, I never know how you might sink your fangs into me next." Magnus's voice gradually became lighter, but Alec knew that was simply a trick he was trying to use on his father, and he wondered whether Asmodeus could pick up on it or not.

At that, Asmodeus chuckled, clearly enjoying what he saw as an amusing conversation. "Valentine Morgenstern wants the Cup, that I am highly aware of. How do you think I found you?" he asked, a smirk appearing on his face when Magnus's eyes widened ever so slightly. "Did you really think that Valentine could pull everything off without a little assistance from someone far more powerful than he pretends to be? Did you really think that I would assist him without gaining something myself?" Asmodeus was clearly enjoying watching the shock on all of their faces. "He'll soon learn that I have betrayed him and taken the Cup for myself, but I have a very special plan in mind for him, so by all means, allow me to show you how to work this lock."

It was then that Magnus finally turned to Alec, his eyes quickly searching Alec's face for any sign of what to do. The problem was that Alec was just as clueless and just as hopeless, so he simply moved to stand in front of the Cup as Asmodeus had beckoned for them to do, moving to take Magnus's hand at the same time. To his surprise, Magnus didn't pull away from him, and he knew they would have a lot to talk about later, but for the time being, Alec simply needed to be as close to Magnus as possible given the situation at hand. "You'll need to mix your blood together," Asmodeus said matter-of-factly when he was satisfied that they were listening to him.

"Preferably just cut open your hands and mix it together," he said, as though any other sort of blood would be too dramatic for him. "Then one of you will take your palm and press it into the opening here," he said, gesturing at a very small opening in the lock that Alec had only just noticed. "Years ago, Jocelyn Fairchild decided that she would hide the Cup here because it would be the last place that anyone would look. Presumably she decided to enchant the lock in this way as a stab towards Valentine who I've heard hates the mere existence of soulmates." When he paused, Alec remained where he was, afraid of the possibilities of what might happen if Asmodeus truly got his hands on the Cup. "Well, what are you waiting for?" the demon finally asked, waving his hands around as if to say that they should have already handed him the Cup.

Very slowly, Alec moved to grab the sole dagger he'd brought with him, hoping that a dagger would hurt Magnus less than a seraph blade would. A removed his hand from Magnus's long enough to slice it open, then he pressed his hand in Magnus's once more, their blood quickly mixing through their shared wound. After several long seconds, Alec moved to press his palm over the lock, knowing that Magnus was too stubborn to do it himself. The lock immediately began clicking into place, its gears shifting in an almost ominous way. But that was when the world around Alec all but exploded, and all he could do was stand by and watch as it did so.

As soon as Alec had pressed his palm to the lock, Magnus had jumped into action, spell after spell shooting from his hands in a way Alec had never before seen. Ragnor immediately yelled for Magnus to stop, knowing that Magnus's energy wouldn't hold up for very long, but Magnus didn't seem to hear it at all, not slowing down at all despite the fact that nothing seemed to be affecting Asmodeus very much. Granted, the demon did seem to be using his own sort of spell to block Magnus's, and that was clearly taking some energy out of him, but it was nothing compared to what was going on with Magnus at the moment. Alec wanted to reach out and stop him, but then the Cup was before him, and he couldn't help but reach out for it.

The moment Alec's hand touched the Cup, a searing pain shot through his arm, and he immediately pulled back, confused as to why the Cup would cause him any pain. But then he realized that it wasn't the Cup at all. Asmodeus had quickly silenced Magnus's onslaught of attacks, rendering Magnus defenseless. But what was causing the pain in Alec's arm was the fact that there was currently a whip, much like Isabelle's, wrapped around his wrist. The other end of the whip was in Asmodeus's hand, and as the demon retracted the whip, Alec felt it slicing through his flesh just as easily as he might cut through a stick of butter.

"Like I would ever allow you to take the Cup," Asmodeus spat at them, his words not truly sinking in for Alec, the pain in his wrist taking up all the space in his mind. "Like you would ever be a match for me, son." At that, Asmodeus simply laughed, but Alec was too focused on the fact that he couldn't feel his fingers to really take in what was going on around him. "And just for your little outburst, I think I'll take more than the Cup with me while I go. Farewell, son. I'm sure we'll see each other soon," he finished. Before Alec had time to wonder whether or not Magnus could feel his own fingers or what Asmodeus might want other than the Cup, Alec's vision went completely black and the floor fell out from underneath him. The last thought Alec had before the darkness took his consciousness was a hope that he would still be able to shoot his bow.

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Magnus sank to the ground, unable to stand any longer, his energy drained yet again. But he wasn't really worried about his energy at the moment. He was more worried about the fact that his father was gone and he'd taken the Mortal Cup with him. Yet that didn't disturb him nearly as much as who Asmodeus had taken with him. As soon as the demon had disappeared, so had Robert, Ragnor, and Alec. And all Magnus could do was think of the things that Asmodeus might do to the three of them, the things that Asmodeus might force them to do, and suddenly he knew he was going to be sick. Yet somehow that felt like the best reaction he could possibly have at the moment. Before he could move, however, Jace took hold of his hand and began wrapping his wrist in a blanket he'd apparently retrieved from one of the dormitory rooms. It wasn't until that moment that Magnus remembered what Asmodeus had done to Alec's wrist, slicing it open with his whip faster than Magnus could follow.

"We have to find them," Magnus said, trying to stand up as best he could. The problem was that he had to heavily rely on Jace, and even then, he only made it a few feet before even Jace's support wasn't enough to help him any longer. "My father will not take someone else from me," Magnus continued, the determination in his voice weakened by the fear that was beginning to roll over him in waves. "He will not take them from me." He knew that his voice was final, but his mind was a mess. With all the dreams he'd been having lately about Ragnor's death, he knew that he was already running out of time to help Ragnor. There was no way that Asmodeus would simply take them and then not harm them. He was a Greater Demon. That wasn't how he worked.

"The first thing we're going to do is get you to Catarina so you can be healed," Jace said, his voice surprisingly gentle, and Magnus wondered if that was for his sake or for Alec's sake. "Your energy is already dangerously low, Magnus. You won't be of any help to them if you come after them in this condition." Magnus hated to admit that Jace had a good point. The last thing he wanted to do was make the situation worse. But Magnus could already feel the clock ticking. It was only a matter of time before Asmodeus hurt one of them. Or worse. Magnus tried to shake his head, tried to stand up, but he was already extremely groggy from the pain and the blood loss, and he knew that it would all be in vain.

Then, for a single moment, Magnus's mind completely cleared. He felt as though nothing had been wrong with him for weeks. He felt as though he could run a marathon twice through without so much as breaking a sweat. And then the pain began, and Magnus lurched forward, grasping at the air, searching for something that would ground him in reality once more. He could hear Jace asking him what was wrong, but it was too late, the darkness was already creeping in, and Magnus knew he wouldn't be able to take much more. His father was torturing Alec, a fact that was so clearly evident. From Magnus's experience, the fact that the pain was radiating throughout every part of his body most likely meant that Asmodeus was torturing Alec with demon's blood, but the tool he was using didn't truly matter. What mattered was that Magnus's last thought before he passed out was that his heart had never truly been broken in the way that it was breaking now. And he was entirely certain that it would never be made to break in this way again.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! I am so so sorry that this has taken so long. I know that you're getting tired of reading that as much as I'm getting tired of having to type that to you. But this past semester was extremely rough, so here I am now, bearing the only Christmas gift I have! I hope to finish this story before next semester starts, that way we won't have to worry about my lack of free time, but I can't make any promises.
> 
> As always, please let me know what you think of this chapter and the story as a whole! I tied up a lot of loose ends in my mind tonight, so I can't wait for you all to see what's in store!
> 
> Enjoy!

As soon as Alec woke he knew that something was horribly wrong. Before he'd finished taking a single breath, he knew that he was no longer in Idris. The life and magic that filled the air in Idris was startlingly absent now, and Alec didn't need to open his eyes to know that he had been yanked out of the Shadowhunters' land. In the next couple of seconds before opening his eyes, Alec quickly registered the fact that there was a deep and dark magical presence around him as well, and he knew that likely meant that Asmodeus was still with them. Alec opened his eyes as carefully as possible, though he knew that if Asmodeus was anywhere near him that the demon likely already knew that he was conscious. "Alexander," Alec heard his father whisper as he began to sit up.

The relief in Robert's voice wasn't hidden in the slightest, and Alec immediately began to wonder how long he'd been unconscious. Before he could ask any questions, Robert was by his side, quickly assessing Alec to see if he was injured or not. As he tried to wave Robert away and convince his father that he was fine, Alec slowly began to register that Ragnor was also there with them. Wherever there was. But the biggest concern to Alec was that Ragnor seemed to be in chains, and that could only mean that Asmodeus wanted to eliminate any use of magic. Which meant that they were utterly defenseless at the moment. "What happened?" he asked, ignoring the fact that his voice was hoarse from the weight of his unconsciousness.

"Asmodeus shipped us back to New York after Magnus pulled his little stunt. He plopped us here in Renwick's and left before we could even ask the first question." Ragnor's voice was ice cold, and Alec hated to admit that it was something he was beginning to get used to. With all the chaos around him at the moment, the fact that Ragnor was still impossibly angry with him was the one thing that anchored Alec to the present moment. At least Ragnor's anger was something that he could understand, something that he could deal with. And then Alec remembered everything that Magnus had told him about Reid, Ragnor's adopted son, and he began to wonder if this was why Ragnor's voice was so cold at the moment.

Alec let the silence stretch out before them as he finally got to his feet, realizing that the longer he sat on the ground, the harder it would be for him to eventually get up. He made a very quick assessment of himself, but not because he was particularly worried that Asmodeus had done anything to him in the short time that he'd been unconscious. Alec wanted to make sure that nothing more had happened to Magnus since Asmodeus had pulled them from Idris. He sighed in relief has he slowly began to register the fact that the most recent wounds were the cuts he'd sustained when the window had broken. Magnus was fine, at least for the time being, and that was really all that mattered. "What I don't understand is why Asmodeus would take you too," Alec finally said, directing this comment toward Robert.

For a moment, Alec thought that Ragnor was going to interject, but then Robert finally replied, saving them from whatever snarky comment the warlock likely wanted to make. "I've been trying to figure that out myself," Robert said, his voice distant and thoughtful. "If Asmodeus wants to hurt Magnus, then it makes sense that he would take you and Ragnor, but I mean nothing to Mangus." Alec was relieved to hear that there was no anger or resentment in his father's voice, only a distant sort of curiosity as to the nature of the situation. It was very clear that Asmodeus was planning something, and that very thought made chills run down Alec's spine. He didn't know much about Asmodeus other than the things he'd learned in history lessons, but that was enough for him to know that anything Asmodeus planned would not be in their favor.

Alec wasn't sure how long they sat in silence, thoughts of Magnus consuming him until he almost forgot what kind of situation they had found themselves in. Beyond anything else, Alec wished he could reverse time and take back everything that had happened between him and his soulmate. The fact of the matter was that his father had been right, that the only thing that truly mattered was the fact that Magnus was his soulmate. And he knew that he shouldn't have let his emotions get in the way to the point that he'd let Magnus go. He'd let Magnus out of his reach and now he was in the hands of quite possibly the most dangerous being on earth. Now he was sitting in the middle of the most dangerous situation he'd ever been in, and the only thing Alec could focus on was the worry that was overwhelming him. The worry that Mangus might never understand the depth of his love.

For several long moments, Alec tried to shake himself back into reality. He tried to remind himself that he should be worrying about what was right in front of him, about how they might get out of the situation with Asmodeus, but every time he so much as blinked, all Alec could see was Magnus staring back at him. Which wasn't a particularly new sensation in and of itself. Except that now every time he saw Magnus staring back at him, he couldn't suppress the guilt he felt, he couldn't shake the thought that Magnus might never understand the magnitude of the love that Alec felt for him. But Alec was suddenly pulled back into reality when the door to their room finally opened, revealing the one person he wanted to avoid at all costs. He shivered as Asmodeus strode through the door, shutting it behind him in a very final way.

The only thing Alec knew to do was stand, quickly becoming acutely aware of the fact that the only object in the room other than their bodies was the set of chains hold Ragnor to the wall. Alec wasn't oblivious to the fact that a fight with one of the most powerful demons to ever live would not end well for them, but especially not when they had no weapons and no access to any sort of magic. "I have the three of you here for very specific reasons," Asmodeus said, the tone of his voice sending chills through Alec's body once more. "But let's not get caught up in the details just yet. I think it would be much better if we had a bit of fun first." Alec felt his stomach roll at Asmodeus's words, knowing full well that any fun the demon had would mean quite the opposite for them.

When Asmodeus reached up to snap his fingers, Alec couldn't help but flinch. But in the seconds following, he quickly realized that nothing in their surroundings had changed in the slightest. But that made absolutely no sense because Alec knew all too well that Asmodeus wouldn't be smiling in the way he was if he'd done absolutely nothing. Alec also knew that the demon didn't need to snap his fingers to make his magic work, that he'd done so for dramatic effect. So in the end, all he could do was look directly into the eyes that reminded him so startlingly of Magnus and say, "What have you done?" Alec wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer, but he knew that this would all eventually come to smack him in the face, so he didn't let his gaze waver as he stared Asmodeus down, drawing on every bit of courage he had left.

Alec refused to flinch or so much as blink when Asmodeus began laughing. He wouldn't give the demon that sort of satisfaction. "I've just taken this opportunity to leave my son a little gift, that's all," Asmodeus said. Alec didn't need to look to see that Ragnor had stiffened at this, his chains rattling ever so slightly as he reacted to what Asmodeus was implying. Before they could do anything else, however, Asmodeus waved his hand and suddenly there was a mirror on the wall before them. Except Alec couldn't see himself in the mirror because it wasn't a mirror at all but a portal-like look into Idris. Alec only knew this because he was staring at Magnus who was standing in the very place they'd left him in the Academy's library. "I wouldn't want him to miss out on the fun," Asmodeus continued, giving Alec the most sickening sort of wink.

Before Alec could process anything else, Magnus seemed to be overtaken by pain and he doubled forward before Jace or Clary could reach him. It only took a few seconds before Magnus passed out altogether, and Alec knew this was because he was so extremely low on energy from the magic that he'd used to try to protect the Cup. But in those few seconds, Alec saw the worst sort of fear flash through Magnus's eyes, a fear that was far worse than the pain that Magnus seemed to be in. "What did you do to him?" Alec demanded, tearing his eyes away from the mirror as Jace raced to Magnus's side. "I'll tear you to pieces," Alec spit at the demon, only to be interrupted by another fit of laughter from Asmodeus, signaling just how ridiculous it was to think that Alec could ever do such a thing to such a powerful demon.

"I'm simply giving Mangus a bit of motivation, that's all," Asmodeus replied, his voice so casual that Alec would have almost said he was bored. "I didn't hurt him exactly," he continued, and Alec felt the sickness in his stomach deepen. "I simply gave him the impression that I am hurting you," Asmodeus concluded, solidifying the fear that Alec had seen flash through Magnus's eyes just before he'd passed out. If Magnus thought that Asmodeus was torturing him then it was only a matter of time before Magnus would track them down, bursting in to save the day no matter the cost. Especially if Magnus told Jace about this new turn of events when he woke up. The two of them were likely to come bursting in without so much as a single word of plan in place. And Asmodeus knew this all too well.

"You want Magnus to do something for you," Ragnor said, pulling Alec out of the whirlwind that was his mind at the moment. The way that Ragnor had spoken left no room for interpretation. It was simply a statement of fact. "You didn't want the Cup for no reason at all," Ragnor said clearly beginning to work his way through the situation at hand. "Whatever you plan to use it for, you need Magnus's help. And you think that by pretending to torture Alec that you can finally convince him to work for you." Asmodeus simply kept his gaze fixed on Ragnor, and Alec couldn't help but wonder what was going through the demon's mind. But then Ragnor spoke again and he suddenly no longer cared what Asmodeus was thinking. "My question is this: why pretend to torture Alec instead of actually torturing him?"

Alec did his best to reign in the look that he gave Ragnor, to pretend that he wasn't at all concerned by Ragnor's question. But he couldn't help but feeling as though Ragnor was actually asking Asmodeus to torture him. He couldn't shake the feeling that Ragnor wanted him to be hurt, wanted him to be affected in the way that he had affected Magnus. Asmodeus, however, simply laughed once more, and Alec couldn't help but flinch away from the demon, his laugh pure evil in almost every way possible. "I have my reasons, Ragnor, rest assured of that," was all he said before he turned to leave the room once more, leaving them staring at one another without the slightest idea of what to do.  
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"Under no circumstance will you go marching into Renwick's while you are in this condition, and most certainly not without an actual plan," Tessa was saying, her voice just as stern and stubborn as it had always been. But Magnus simply didn't give a damn what Tessa told him he could or couldn't do. He was going to do whatever it took to get to Ragnor and Alec. He'd worry about himself at a later date. But he knew that Tessa and James were not going to take kindly to that sort of response, so he simply kept his mouth shut for the time being. The last thing that Magnus wanted to do was worry them more than he already had. There was no reason to bring them into the mess that he seemed to be creating around him.

But nothing could seem to persuade them of the fact that he suddenly felt perfectly fine. He'd spent so long feeling physically ill that he'd almost forgotten what it was like to be perfectly healthy. But the one thing that Magnus knew at the moment was that he felt as though he had never been forced to spend his days over the toilet from illness. He felt as though he had never once coughed or blown his nose over the past couple of months, and though it worried him as well, it certainly made his decision much easier. He hadn't had any trouble making a portal to get them home, and that had been Magnus's first sign of difference. After he'd exhausted himself on his father, making a portal should have been next to impossible. But he'd easily sent Jace and Clary back to the Institute to retrieve Isabelle, stepping through into his own apartment and calling Tessa without a second thought.

Not long after calling Tessa, a single piece of paper had suddenly landed in his hands, and Magnus hadn't needed to look at it to know what it was. His father wanted him to meet at Renwick's so that they could talk further. Something about wanting to get out of Idris because of all the angelic nonsense around him, but Magnus knew that Asmodeus always had his reasons, and the angelic nature of Idris was certainly not one of them. But Magnus hadn't had much time to truly think about the situation because Tessa and James had arrived within minutes, ushering in with them yet another wave of pain that gripped Magnus with a fear he'd never before experienced. Yet after several more waves of the pain that was coming from Alec, Magnus's fear had begun to turn to a rage so strong that he felt he was going to suffocate if he didn't do something about it. And soon.

His father had done so many thing in his immortal life. But this was it for Magnus. This was the tipping point, and he had firmly decided that he was going to rip Asmodeus to pieces if that's what it took. But now he was sitting waiting on Jace and Isabelle, though Asmodeus had said they were welcome to show up at Renwick's at any time. Magnus barely registered the fact that Tessa was still talking as yet another wave of pain rolled over him, forcing him to grip the couch with everything he had, forcing him to look away from Tessa's concerned gaze as he closed his eyes and begged for the pain to end. It wasn't that Magnus exactly cared about the pain itself, at least not where he was concerned. He'd endured so much pain throughout his life, and he could endure whatever his father through his way. But Magnus found himself begging for this pain to end, the thought of Alec experiencing it hurting him far worse than the physical pain itself.

Magnus was torn away from his thoughts as the door opened and Clary strode in before Jace and Isabelle, their fear mirroring his own in the most heartbreaking of ways. So he tried to reign in the pain, to make it seem as though it really wasn't as bad as it was, but every single time he thought he'd gotten ahold of it, the pain would come crashing down again, hitting him in a way it hadn't before. "You can't go like this," Jace said, his voice tight and even, as though he was trying to hold himself together. "It would be impossible for you to so much as think straight when you're in pain like this, much less for you to fight properly." Magnus knew that what Jace was saying made sense. He knew that Tessa's words had made sense too, but none of that really mattered to him at the moment.

Standing up, Mangus pushed Tessa's hand away as gently as possible, trying to firmly show her that he wasn't going to back down. "The only way my pain is going to stop is if we get to Alec and we stop Asmodeus," Magnus replied through his teeth, though he wasn't sure if this was from the pain or from his anger. "I am going to Renwick's, and whoever would like to join me is welcome do to so. But that is the end of this conversation," Magnus continued, walking toward the door as best he could, willing the pain back. Just as his hand came to rest on the door, however, Jace's phone began ringing, and despite himself, Magnus paused to listen to what was going to happen next.

Though Magnus didn't get much from Jace's side of the conversation as the young Shadowhunter simply listened for a moment before saying, "She'll be there soon." and hanging up the phone. "Go back to the Institute," Jace said, turning to Isabelle, his voice leaving no room for negotiation. "Valentine dropped Simon off at the Institute but since he can't go in and Hodge can't get out, they're having a hard time determining if he's okay, and also keeping him there," Jace added as a side note, though Magnus knew that if Simon was truly a vampire they were going to have one hell of a time keeping him there instead of allowing him to feed. "Clary and I will go with Magnus, you go take care of Simon."

Magnus was surprised by the gentleness in Jace's voice, but he also knew that Jace had given no room for argument from either Isabelle or Clary. It would be much easier for Simon if Clary was far away from him at the moment. Magnus knew all too well that being near to someone he knew so well would only make things worse for Simon, something that Jace seemed to understand as well. To Magnus's surprised, Isabelle simply nodded, slipping out of the door before Magnus had time to even think another thought. "So how are we getting into Renwick's while keeping some semblance of surprise?" Jace asked, turning to Magnus before the door had even closed behind Isabelle. It wasn't hard to see the tension in Jace's body, the fear that was pulling at his heart, and for a moment, Magnus allowed himself to remember that he wasn't the only one who was scared. He wasn't the only one who cared deeply for Alec.

"We're not," Magnus replied, his voice just as cold as he'd expected it to be. "With my father, you cannot even begin to get the upper hand. And frankly, I am tired of running and hiding and sneaking around. So I don't know about the two of you, but I am simply going to walk into Renwick's and face that son of a bitch and whatever happens next is something I'll simply have to deal with." Magnus began moving toward the door once more, not wanting to remain there a second longer than he had to. "And would one of you please contact Raphael? Tell him what's going on and maybe get him to help Simon?" he asked just before he stepped over the threshold, knowing that James and Tessa would do exactly as he'd asked, trusting them to get the job done just like they'd always had. His only hope was that he could trust himself just as much as he trusted them.  
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As soon as they entered Renwick's Magnus knew what had to be done whether he liked it or not. "They're on the third floor, fifth room on the right," Magnus said to Jace, his tone carrying what he hoped was at least a bit of authority. "I'll meet you there soon," he added, hoping that Jace wouldn't pry further. Surprising him not for the first time, Jace simply nodded and motioned for Clary to follow him toward the stairs, leaving Magnus staring into the building that was as empty as he felt. Somehow, he put one foot in front of the other and allowed his senses to carry him toward his father. It wasn't hard to pinpoint his father's location, not with the magic that was radiating off of him. So Magnus made his way toward his father, attempting, and failing to slow his mind.

At long last, Magnus felt the pain subside, and he would have smiled in that moment had it not been for the fact that he was suddenly facing Asmodeus once more. "Magnus, son," Asmodeus said as soon as he saw Magnus. "Now all you've succeeded in doing is trapping poor Jace and Clary along with the others." Magnus wanted to wince at the joy and amusement in the demon's voice, but he forced himself to stand his ground, to keep the emotion off of his face and not give Asmodeus the satisfaction he was looking for. "My, what a mess you have made," Asmodeus said, his voice carefree and light, betraying just how much he enjoyed watching the mess unfold around him.

"That's okay," Magnus responded, forcing his voice to be just as light as his father's had been. "Because you're going to let them all go. All five of them. And you're going to let them go unharmed." It had taken centuries, but Magnus had eventually learned his lesson where his father was concerned. He was going to be as specific as he possibly could, not giving Asmodeus any room for interpretation. "You want something from me, and I'm going to give you whatever that is, so long as you let them go unharmed." Magnus hated staring into his father's eyes. He hated the emptiness that he saw staring back at him. But staring into Asmodeus's eyes, he willed the demon to believe what he was saying. He willed his father to take the bait.

And then suddenly Asmodeus was smiling, and Magnus knew that he'd gotten past the worst part of the night. If he could just get Asmodeus to let the others go, that was all that really mattered to him. "You would do whatever I asked for a man who will likely never love you again?" Asmodeus asked, his words sending Magnus reeling. "I saw the way his eyes flashed when I said your name, son. Your precious Shadowhunter is hurt and angry and he broke your heart. And yet you stand before me ready to give your life away for him." This was more of a statement than a question, and Magnus knew all too well that a reply was not needed. They both knew that this was the truth, that Magnus was so hopelessly in love that Alec's own love, or lack thereof, didn't have any weight on the situation.

So Magnus simply stared his father down, unable to trust himself to speak any more than was absolutely necessary. "Very well," Asmodeus said, his smile seemingly widening, and Magnus repressed a shudder at that thought. "They are free to go so long as you perform one simple task for me," he continued, and Magnus simply nodded, not trusting his voice, not trusting the situation in the slightest. "Three days from now Valentine Morgenstern believes that I will be handing over the Mortal Cup to him," Asmodeus said, his voice betraying just how foolish he believed the Shadowhunter to be. "And that is the night that Valentine Morgenstern will die by your hand." At that, Magnus couldn't help but snort, the entire situation suddenly becoming utterly ridiculous.

Yet Asmodeus simply acknowledged this with a slight smile, more of smirk than Magnus had seen from him before. "Yes, that will make you quite the hero to those darling Shadowhunters, won't it?" Asmodeus said, but Magnus wasn't oblivious to the sarcasm and hatred dripping from his voice. "After that business is taken care of, I am going to walk you through a conversion ritual of sorts, and then you will be free to go." At that, Magnus's mind kicked into overdrive, but he only allowed himself to raise his eyebrows in question. "You're going to change the allegiance of the Mortal Sword and the Mortal Cup," Asmodeus clarified, his voice just as casual as if he'd been telling Magnus that the sky was blue. "You will get more information as I see fit."

Asmodeus's voice was excruciatingly final, and Magnus watched as his father turned his back, fully prepared to leave Magnus in the middle of the mess that he had created. "Wait," Magnus said, his voice echoing in the emptiness of Renwick's. To his surprise, Asmodeus did stop, clearly intrigued by whatever had given Magnus the courage to challenge him in any way. "I want to make a deal with you," Magnus said, ignoring the fact that his mind was screaming at him to stop. He would deal with the consequences as they came to him. At least that's what he kept telling himself. "The dream you sent me about Ragnor. I want you to stop it. I know you have that power. So I want you to keep Ragnor alive, and I don't care what I have to give you in return."

At that, Asmodeus turned back to face him once more, and Magnus involuntarily took a step backward as he registered the flash of fire and joy in the demon's eyes. He knew just how dangerous his words were. He knew that this could very easily mean the end of his life. Or worse. But Magnus didn't care. All he could see was Ragnor with demon's claws sticking out of his chest. He'd already failed Ragnor once. He wasn't about to fail Ragnor again. "I'll give you the chance to change your wording, son," Asmodeus said, clearly amused by the defiance in Magnus's statement. But Magnus was already shaking his head. He'd made up his mind far before he'd set foot in Renwick's that night.

"You're going to keep Ragnor alive," Magnus repeated, hoping that his tone left no room for any challenge. "I will give you whatever you want in return. If that's my life, then so be it. If that's working for you, then so be it. Ragnor will not die." For a moment, Magnus was seized with the fear that Asmodeus might reject him, that the demon might enjoy watching his life fall to pieces at the loss of Ragnor. But then Asmodeus smiled once more, and Magnus reminded himself that it was simply too good of an offer for him to pass up. It was everything Asmodeus had been working toward for centuries. There was no way he was going to let this chance go. And that was perfectly fine with Magnus.

"What about your darling Shadowhunter?" Asmodeus asked, sending chills down Magnus's spine. Surely Asmodeus wasn't going to ask for Alec. He'd be insane to ask for Alec. "What would your soulmate think if he knew that you were so willing to throw your life away for your friend's sake?" Magnus relaxed, knowing that Alec was safe for the moment. That was all that mattered. As long as Ragnor and Alec were safe, he could continue going, he could continue doing whatever had to be done to ensure that that never changed. No matter what Asmodeus did to him, that would always be the one thing that mattered.

"As you so kindly pointed out, Alec does not care at the moment," Magnus said, willing it to be true as he spoke it. The only thing he wanted right now was to get Alec as far away from the pain and the hurt as he possibly could. But Magnus was becoming increasingly afraid that that was going to be impossible. "Let him go, keep Ragnor safe, and I don't care what happens after that. Time will go on. Alec will heal." Magnus forced himself to believe it. He forced himself to make those words truth. Because otherwise he would back down. Otherwise, he would run to Alec now and never look back.

Asmodeus studied him for several more moments, and Magnus could feel himself breaking under the demon's gaze. But he forced himself to calm his thoughts, to simply get past this moment and into the next. If he could keep Alec and Ragnor safe, then nothing else in the world mattered. "Very well," Asmodeus said, and Magnus felt himself release the breath he had been holding. "I will tell you what I wish for in return when I find it," he concluded, and before Magnus could protest, he was gone. All that was left was the sinking feeling that Magnus had just made the biggest mistake possible, but he pulled himself out of his mind for the time being, turning toward the stairs and forcing himself to deal with the consequences as they came.  
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Alec felt himself hit the ground. He heard Magnus calling out to him. He felt Jace's hand on his shoulder. But none of that mattered. The only thing that mattered was the fact that Isabelle was sitting on the steps of the Institute, Max hanging limp in her arms. This couldn't be happening. There was no way that his little brother was gone. That was impossible. Alec registered the tears running down Isabelle's cheeks. He registered just how cold Max's hand was as he took it in his. He registered the fact that his father had come to sit beside of him. But none of it made any impact on him. Not when he felt Simon walk up behind them and suddenly he found himself on his feet once more, seraph blade in hand.

"What did you do to him?" he demanded, the tip of his blade coming to rest none too gently on Simon's throat. For a moment, it seemed as though Simon was going to fight back, and Alec felt himself tense up at the thought. But then Raphael's hand reached up to push the blade away from Simon's throat, and Alec surprised himself by allowing the vampire to do so. He simply wanted answers, and if Raphael had them, that was all that mattered. But then Alec had the sudden irrational thought that maybe Raphael had hurt Max in some way, and he felt rage flare up within him once again. "Who hurt him?" he asked, this time his voice much softer than he had wanted it to be.

"It wasn't Simon," Raphael replied, his voice infuriatingly gentle. Alec hated the pity he heard. He wanted nothing of it. "When I got here, Simon was helping your sister fight off demons," Raphael continued, clearly uncomfortable at having to tell about the things that had happened. "The demons somehow got inside of the Institute, something I've only ever seen once before," he said, his eyes darting toward Magnus, clearly speaking of something that Magnus had seen once before as well. "Your sister got hurt, and seeing as neither Simon nor I could enter, your little brother rushed to help her. He saved her life," Raphael concluded, stepping out of Alec's way at long last. Alec felt the seraph blade slip out of his hand. He heard it hit the ground. He heard his father say his name. But he couldn't hold onto any of it. He could hold onto the reality before him. Because if this was reality, then he wanted nothing of it.

Before Alec fully registered what was going on, he was already halfway through the Institute. Before Alec fully realized that the aching in his chest wasn't going to ever go away, he was already to the greenhouse. But it wasn't until he reached Max's favorite stop that he allowed himself to collapse once more. It wasn't until he hit the ground that reminded him so much of Idris that he allowed the tears to escape. He welcomed the pain and the ache that he knew would never leave. They were what he deserved for not being here for Max. They were the only things that made sense at the moment, and they were the only things that were keeping him tethered to himself, the only things keeping his heart inside of his chest.


	14. Author's Note

Hi all!

So I have been thinking about this for a very long time, and I have decided that I will be going on hiatus indefinitely. This is not an easy decision for me, and at this point, I am unsure that I will ever come back to writing fanfiction. This decision is one I have been thinking about and struggling with for months, and I've decided to simply rip off the bandage and do it.

At this point, I think a lot of you know how busy my schedule is. This decision is one that I do not take lightly, but I feel is the best for me and my life. I've got two majors, I will be applying to medical school in the summer, and I must begin writing my thesis soon, not to mention my job and volunteer work and a million and two other things.

I wanted to post on the 4 stories that I never finished as a courtesy to you all so that you aren't waiting for me to finish them. If I do come back to these stories at some point, I would like for it to be a pleasant surprise, instead of this becoming a horrible waiting game. I would like to come back to these stories eventually, but I am unsure that this is going to be possible. I have begun working on some original works as well, and I have even had to give those things up in favor of school work.

I am sorry to have to post this, but I am very thankful for all the support I've gotten over the past few years! You have all helped me grow more as a writer than I could have ever imagined, and I am so thankful for that! You've been amazing readers, and I am sorry that I have to end off like this.

Thanks so much for everything!

xoxo Haley


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